On true meaning of live

It is hard to realize
That you happiness will not surmise
That your pain makes you free
And through sorrow’s eyes you see
It is hard to be a realist
When for your dreams you exist
When the warmth of a kiss you crave
Absence of it is your cold grave
Deep inside to believe the facts
That you never will be like that
Like those who can fly in the sky
Like the ideas that make you cry
Cold needles of drug called regret
Penetrate your soul to never forget
Penetrate your mind to never try
Make your exit, say final goodbye
Once in your life to tell the truth
Of the longing emptiness and abuse
Of the feelings that strive to break out
From the rational prison of thought and doubt
In the cage painted with symbols of need
The relinquishing feeling of guilt
The demolishing brightness of true love
Which you crave, but will never have
I have been through this ordeal once
Paid my sorrowful life a glance
Paid my debts to the guilt and the “must”
Turned my true feelings to ash and dust
It was hard for me to realize
That my happiness has never surmised
That my pain made me a broken slave
To the last breath, to my grave
It was hard for me to be a realist
Although my dreams did not exist
Although the true kiss I never had
For inside myself I was always dead
It is hard, but such is this life
True feelings do not help you survive
True necessity kills your dreams
Hard as it is, people still live…