Story About God

I want to write a story about God.
But I have no idea where to begin or how to tell it. Even now, this sounds crappy. People will read this and say, “Why does she want to write a story about God?”
And maybe it’s because it’s what I need to do right now. I should be writing this down on paper with a biro, but all that will happen is this: I will sit there; I will begin writing and then cross it out, read the sentence and get stuck. But with the computer, I just have to look at the keyboard and keep writing. But I will look up eventually and realise that i'm going to need to put some paragraphs in so its easier for you to read.
Maybe I need you to read this, to read this story, about why I want to write about god.
And I’m just writing down my thoughts, that’s all this is right now and I think I will leave it this way. I don’t remember what it’s called- when writers write simple sentences, or thoughts with so many full stops that it becomes tired.
Maybe you still want to know why I want to write about god. I’m not avoiding it I don’t think. I think I am writing about it. I think that writing about all these things, my thoughts, school and everything is writing about god. The way I am and why i am writing these continuous lines of my thoughts.
Perhaps your bored by it and really don’t care. But if you don’t care, why are you still reading? Is it because you want to find out where all this is going.
I was going over some of my other work and becoming frustrated at how cheesy it is and highlighting most thing on the pages that I wanted to change. I’m not going to that with this. Sure, I will fix up the spelling and paragraphs maybe. But anyway that’s what I was doing until I thought: I want to write a story about God.
So that’s what I’m doing. I opened up the word document and just started writing. And the only reason I have gotten this far down the page is because I started with that very thought.
…and I looked up at the screen. This made me -and is still making me (as I write this looking at the keyboard) – how many words I have on this page. I’m getting off now because my thought trail has kind of slowed a bit and also I think dad needs the computer for study…
I guess I will see you next entry. But I will remember to put the dates up above each entry for you, just so you know where this story of god stops and starts.
Well this is being written today, obviously, on –let me just check the clock thing- Wednesday 29 march 2006. There.
Its 9.00pm. And the word-count? 497.
Goodnight. (I’m smiling, knowing that I will probably read this later and want to edit it or something…)

1 April 2006, 6:25pm

There were so many things that I thought about afterwards that I wanted to write here. Now they have all settled again somewhere for me to find later. I need to shut the door because of scrubbing noise in the kitchen…
I think we might be having omelettes tonight, lots of eggs from the chooks. This is how I didn’t decide to begin this entry, it just happened and so I am going with it. I suppose this is like a diary or a journal. I am always trying to write them but never really say the things I am thinking. I think it was because of being afraid of other people reading it and finding out about the things that I wrote instead of the things I should have written and being laughed at – if that sentence made any sense.


4 April 2006 5:33pm

Through my confused thoughts today, I wanted to turn to god but I found it so hard. There was no need to be so negative about things today. And yet I was that way. I feel so angry and sad and so many things else for people, and I need to help them, I need to make them understand how they are. Even I need to know how I act. We are so cruel to each other and i try to head the other way. I feel I am changing in this, it’s easier to talk about things to people but its not at the same time. I think I still feel like I can’t say all the things I want to say, or say them the way they need to come out. God, I write with confusion even.
You must find this hard to read for long sentences with too many words and thoughts. I have thought a lot about the world today. I see the way things are. And it’s so hard to see it all from the outside. I see the way my classmates are so disrespectful to the teachers and to each other. And it hurts me to see that. To hear their words and their swearing. I was very close to throwing a scrunched up piece of paper at brad today because of the way he was treating the Australian girl’s accent. And even though I imitate Australians a lot (not at their faces) but he and some others started doing that and it went on to other horrible remarks.
It was so hard in that geography class, to get through the one hour of it. I ended up going to the library and helping the librarian put books on the shelves. It took my mind of things and I enjoyed doing that. The librarians did like me helping out; the even gave me a chocolate fish voucher for the canteen, which was so nice of them. I didn’t expect anything in return, but that kind of thing makes one feel good. There’s some thing in my head right now, I don’t know how it goes but it’s on the top of my tongue...um, good things happen to those who do good things for others…or something…! Which is the way it should be.
Oh yes, “treat others the way you would like to be treated.” Which is just ka pai to me!

23 April 2006 2:37pm

My good friend Emily invited me to go to Easter Camp with her and I did, and it was awesome!!! And for five days we and about 3000 others from the south island had an awesome time, I don’t know how to describe it but ah! What am I saying…course I do! Um, I think. Here goes: there was a Christian band “Satellite” there playing every morning and night in the seventy metre long marquee.
We had speakers who preached to us about Jesus (we even had a guy all the way from America to come and speak to us- and that was just awesome!) I continue to say awesome because that’s just what it was! And everyone there were all really nice people, it didn’t matter who I talked to, they were always kind understanding, nonjudgeful – if that’s a word. I’m going to use it anyway.
I only decided to actually put this on writing-dot-com today and so my train of thought has lessened a bit because I feel self conscious and so I think I just need to let go again.
And I did end up going through and editing it a bit today, because otherwise it wouldn’t make any sense to you…
I kind of think that if I didn’t go to Easter Camp I wouldn’t be able to continue this story. I would have still been seeing things in the same light. This story of God would have- well it wouldn’t have stopped but it would have been different. I am happy it is this way, that I went to Emily with Easter Camp, that I learnt what I have been wanting to learn about God.
I’m glad I have God who loves me and my friends and my family.
So god bless ya’ll here at writing-dot-com!