feeling low

I feel like shit. Just low, low, low. Under the weather. Don’t know why. Some people are born to take more crap than others. Right now, I feel like shit. Don’t know how to stop the feeling. Would like to talk to someone. But I can’t. No one to listen to me. No understanding.
That’s a thing I love about westerns societies. You can’t feel like crap. You always have to be a fighter. You must lift yourself up, because feeling low ain’t respectable.
I’d love if one day people would tell me, yes it’s okay to feel like shit, given the circumstances. I’m tired of fighting. I have fought too many battles. I want things to be simple. But they aren’t. They never are. Fuck.
The easy way out? Suicide. Easy, simple, radical. Don’t have the balls to do it though. Wish I had. ‘Cause right now I just don’t think I can take it any longer.
I just want things to be simple. No more headaches, no more fighting, please, let things be.
I don’t have the strength. Before, I just took things. I could. But I passed the limits, and lately stupid stuffs are taking me down. Now I can’t rise again. Risen already too many times. Now I want to stay down. And I’d appreciate if people agreed. I would love if they approved of my giving up. ‘Cause this is what it boils down to, giving up and people not trying to rescue you, or talk you into getting better. I’ve gotten better, and fallen again, and every time it hurts even more. I want to stay down there.
Tell me you agree. Tell me it’s okay. Tell me I can abandon, because no one ever wins anyways. Allow me to leave everything, and do not judge me.
Help me.