Darker Shade Of Light : Part Two

Chapter 4

         Aw, wow! I was looking at this in Game yesterday! Thanks, Elyn!”
         “Don’t mention it, I knew you liked it from how long you spent looking at it, and it is your birthday, after all!”
         It was the Sunday after the day before, and they had been officially going out for about 18 hours. She had already bought him a present for his birthday, which he knew had cost her £10.          He had flashbacks of the conversation with Mark the night before ringing in his head.
         “Well done, mate! You bagged your bird! So when do I get to meet her?”
         Josh hadn’t set a date, because he knew he wanted to make sure they were going to last before he rocked the boat by announcing to friends and family that he was with a mosher. He guessed his parents might disapprove her dress a little, but it was Mark and Leanne he was most worried about, because he knew they both hated moshers. If Josh was honest, he was still unsure, but he knew if anyone could help him be rid of his fears, she was standing right next to him.          And the more he looked at her, the more he felt like parading her in front of them all there and then, because he truly couldn’t see anything changing the way he felt about her that moment.
         She sensed his thoughts, and leaned towards him. He responded eagerly, kissing her slowly and softly. He had never had a proper girlfriend, just random whores that threw themselves at him when he was out on the pisser with Mark and his other mate’s. But she was different. He really felt for her, like he had never dreamed he would about anyone, and he knew it was strange when he felt so strongly after less than a week of knowing this girl, and only a day of being this close. But he didn’t care.
         “So, what are we doing today?”
         “Well, my friend Mark wants to meet you…”
         “Great! I can’t wait to meet him! When are we going?”
         “Erm…we aren’t…”
         “Why not?”
         “Well…you know how I nearly didn’t…want to…”
         “OH! He’s a townie? And you think he won’t like me?”
         “Exactly! He’s had a massive vendetta for moshers ever since high school started! I have no idea why, but I guess he was the one who made me hate them so much too. I mean, I don’t anymore, I just…” He trailed off, and looked sheepish. “I’m digging myself a hole, aren’t I?”
         “No, no, I understand! My brother is like that with townies. See, he had this girlfriend, called Mia…” Now she trailed off, and he noticed a darkness in her eyes that frightened him, like a wall he couldn’t climb. He touched the side of her face, and she looked into his eyes, raw pain and emotion clear to see in her shattered face.          He pulled her into a comforting hug, and asked her what happened. She told him about how close she had been to her brother, and about Chester, and how they had all been tied by Mia, but then she had died, and everyone’s world had been turned upside down.
         “I can imagine how painful it must have been for all of you, especially with such a violent accident like that. I’m glad you weren’t there that day.”
         “Why?”
         “It might have been you that got hit! And then I would never have met you.”
         “Yeah, I guess so. Me and Ste used to be so close, he was the only person I needed, but when Mia came he drifted away, and I grew closer to Chester. Now things are even worse, he’s just consumed with hate and blame for the people who killed Mia. He thinks it was townie’s, but I think he is just searching for someone to blame because she died in his arms, and he feels responsible. He doesn’t open up to anyone anymore, so I can’t help him. It’s kinda hard for me to open up to people because of it, but I hope to be able to trust Chester fully, and I guess now I got you too, I better start opening up to you as well.”
         She smiled shakily, and it was obvious from her eyes that she was on the verge of tears, but she held it back, and he marvelled at how strong she was, to lose so much and still hold it together like she was doing. If anything, it made him love her more to know she was so strong, but the knowledge of how much pain she had faced alone made him feel a sudden, powerful emotion he had never felt before. It was a sort of anger, defiance, he couldn’t work it out. The thought of anyone hurting her made him feel sick, and when he thought about how innocent and delicate she looked it hit him. He was feeling protective of her, like he had to defend her at all costs. He had never felt that way about anyone, not even his sister. He didn’t get on well with Leanne, never really understood her. She was only his stepsister anyway, when his mum remarried after leaving Josh’s real father. But that was something he didn’t like to talk about much.
At that moment, he spotted a familiar figure. He was about to turn away, but Elyn stopped him.
         “Hey, I recognise that girl! She used to be a friend of Mia’s! Do you know her?”
         “Yeah, that’s Mark’s little sister, Jayne. She’s the reason I know Mark won’t accept you. He won’t even cut his own sister any slack for being different, what chance do you have? He hates her for what she is.”
         Josh sighed, as it started to dawn on him just how much hate his best friend felt, and he began to wonder why. He guessed that someone had done something to hurt him really deeply, and that person had been a mosher, or it had been because of one. He confided this idea to Elyn, and she shook her head.
         “You can’t assume things, I know, but if that is the reason it’s not fair to judge all of us by what one person has done to him. It must have been pretty bad to have that effect on him, like the effect Mia’s death had on Ste.”
This idea was pretty revolutionary to Josh, as he started to wonder who were the real baddies, the townies or the moshers. It sounded like Mark and Ste were so alike, but at opposite ends of the field. And now he and Elyn were caught in the middle.
         Just like Jayne.
         “Yeah. Hey, why don’t you go and talk to her? She seems to be on her own!”
         “What about you?”
         “I don’t want Mark to know yet. I’m gonna go to ‘Silverscreen’ for a while to look at DVD’s. Come and find me when you’re finished, ok?”
         She agreed, and happily skipped over the road to talk to her. Josh smiled, as he began to feel proud of himself. Meeting Elyn had made him examine himself in a new way, and the night before he had done a lot of thinking. He knew if he wanted to make things work with Elyn he had to learn not to be so judgemental, or he would lose her. He knew most of her friends, if not all, would be like her, and he knew he had to change his opinions to fit in with them. He had also thought back to his behaviour, and realised just how much he hated the person he was becoming. He used to be a gentle, shy person, who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but then his life turned upside down, and now he didn’t even know who he was anymore. Certainly not who he wanted to be.
         He knew he had to work hard to keep Elyn, and watching her happiness grow the more time they spent together made him more determined to fight for her, no matter what happened.

         “Hey, Jayne, isn’t it?”
         “Yeah, you’re Ste’s little sister, aren’t you?”
         “Evelyn. Call me Elyn, though. I saw you at Mia’s funeral.”
         “Yeah. It was a beautiful ceremony. I liked the snowdrops, they were her favourite flowers.”
“I wondered why they used snowdrops like that. They were pretty, though.” Elyn felt instantly comfortable talking to Jayne. She found herself talking about Josh before she could stop herself, but Jayne said she had seen hem together before, and wouldn’t tell Mark.
         “He wouldn’t understand. He gives me a hard enough time as it is. He hates all moshers, and he won’t accept you. But maybe one day he will learn to let go. He never went to Mia’s funeral. I thought he would have done, but he didn’t.”
         “Why? Did he know Mia?”
         “Oh, yes. Very well. She is the reason he hates moshers so much.”
         “Why?”
         Jayne looked mysteriously back. “It’s not my place to say. All I can tell you is your brother and mine have more in common than anyone could guess. And everything comes back to Mia.”
         “Everything?”
         “She is the circle that ties us all together. She is the reason you know me, the reason you lost Ste and met Chester, the reason Mark met Josh and twisted his mind against moshers, and the reason you two fell in love. She is the inexplicable force that brings us all together.”
         “You know Chester?” Jayne sighed sadly.
         “I knew him. I knew he loved her. And I knew she loved him. But she was too scared of his darkness; too afraid she would be drawn into a shadow world she couldn’t escape. Too wrapped up in her circle of silence to hear the noises around her, and know he was dying without her.”
         “Do you love Chester?” The question was blurted before Elyn could stop herself, she was so drawn into the mystery of the strange girl’s speech. Again Jayne sighed, and Elyn was amazed as a single tear slid down her cheek, filled with sorrow and love, delicate and fragile like a passing snowflake. Or the petal of a snowdrop.
         “I did once. I don’t know him anymore. He never knew me. He only ever saw her, the sun shining brighter than all the world. He was so captivated by that passionate sun; he never saw the twinkling stars all around him. Never knew he had so many people, like you, who cared so deeply for him. You love him, too, don’t you?”
Elyn nodded, but did not feel the need to explain that it wasn’t in a sexual way. It was as if Jayne all ready knew.
         “Are you psychic, or something?”
         “I know things without being told. I see things without eyes and hear things without ears. I am the wind passing over all the world, blowing in every space, learning its secrets. I am not gifted, I am simply sensitive. Some would say too sensitive. I know the road is not easy for you and Josh, but I know you will make it. He loves you, you know.”
         “He does?”
         “So much he will change his life to be with you, and you will do the same. It will anger those who love you, and those you love, but in the end there are only two opinions that will govern your choices. Yours and his.”
         They continued talking for some time about other, pointless things, and Elyn knew she trusted Jayne completely. She felt like a little child around her, innocent and humbled. She knew from what Jayne had said that she had to bring her and Chester back together, and arranged to meet Jayne again the following weekend. She found Josh, but didn’t tell him about the conversation. She only said she trusted Jayne to keep their relationship a secret, and Josh knew from Elyn’s difficulties in trusting that, if Jayne had earned so much respect in so short a time, it must be genuine. He was beginning to see that Elyn was an amazingly intuitive judge of character, and he liked it very much.

         “Wow! Yeah, I do remember Jayne! I haven’t seen her since…”
         “The funeral?”
         “Yeah, I guess. Wow, that’s amazing, though! It’s been a hell of a long time, hasn’t it? I don’t mind meeting up with you both next weekend.”
         “Well, Josh can’t meet us this weekend, he’s going out with his friends. But I am going over to his house on Friday.”
         “It sounds like you two are really getting on! Why don’t you bring him round to mine one day soon? I’m sure we’ll get on like a house on fire!”
         “Does that carry the literal meaning, or your meaning?”
         “Now, Evelyn, there are times in a young girl’s life when her adopted big brother has to have certain words with certain potential suitors to ensure that said young girl is well cared for by said young suitor…” He smiled cheekily at the horrified expression on her face, and she ended up throwing her pillows at him.
         “What’s going on?” Elyn jumped out of her skin, as she spotted Ste by the door.
         “Hey, man, come join in!” Chester threw a pillow at him, but he simply blocked the shot and let the pillow fall limply to the ground.
         “Not in the mood, mate. Sorry. I just come to see what all the noise was.” He turned and left, closing the door on his way out. Chester turned to see Elyn slump pathetically to the floor, and sat beside her with his back against her bed.
         “Why has he changed so much, Chester?”
         “I don’t know. I guess losing Mia was too much for him.”
         “No. He was different before he lost her. He changed before he even met her, she just pulled him further away, and losing her has pushed him so far back I can’t even see him anymore, never mind reach him.”
         “And I take it that’s why you wont reach out, either.”
         “What do you mean?”
         “Aw, Elyn, you know I know you better than anybody else. And I know some things not even Ste knows…” He wrapped his arms round her and pulled her close, deliberately placing his fingers ever so gently on the tender area where her sweatbands were. He was so gentle she didn’t even wince, which is what she usually did if anyone touched her wrists. She didn’t fight him when he peeled them off one by one, revealing the marks where she had bled from cuts she caused herself. She knew it was wrong, but sometimes she was so lonely, there didn’t seem to be any other way. She realised with horror what she had just let him see, and he let her pull the bands back on. She tried to stand, to push him back, but he held on to her, pulling her close.
         “Why, El?” He wouldn’t let go, and she finally gave up, and lay back against his chest.
Seeing what he had known existed for a while had hurt him more than he knew it would, because he didn’t want to believe she was that far. But some of them were so deep; she could be scarred for life.
         It was then she burst into tears. He panicked, holding on to her, squeezing her so tightly she knew he would never let go. And she felt safe for the first time in so long she couldn’t remember. She squeezed him back, clinging desperately, sobbing that she didn’t want to be that person anymore.
         And then he amazed even himself by what he did next. He started singing.
         “This is my December. This is my time of the year. This is my December. This is all so clear. This is my December. This is my snow-covered world. This is my December. This is me alone. And I’d give it all away. Just to have somewhere to go to. Give it all away. To have someone to come home to.”
         As he started the next verse, Elyn joined in. She had the voice of an angel, and together they sounded beautiful.
         “This is my December. These are my snow-covered trees. This is me pretending. This is all I need. And I’d give it all away. Just to have somewhere to go to. Give it all away. To have someone to come home to…” Chester looked down at her, and realised she was falling asleep. He knew she didn’t sleep well, so he placed her gently in her bed, and carried on singing the Linkin Park song to her till she drifted off into trouble-less dreams. He stroked her hair, soothing her into a deep sleep.
         Suddenly, her mobile rang. Unsure what to do, he checked the number, which had Josh’s name flashing. Knowing he might be worried, he picked it up.
         “Hello?”
         “Who is this? Are you Elyn’s brother?”
         “No, I’m her friend. She wasn’t feeling well, so she’s fallen asleep. Sorry, mate, I know you probably wanted to talk to her. I’m Chester, by the way.”
         “Oh, yeah, she told me about you. I’m Josh.”
         “Her boyfriend, I know. I tell you, man, it’s harsh you living so far away like you do. El talks about you all the time. You are gonna look after her, aren’t you?”
         “Don’t worry, I will.”
         “Good! She don’t get on so well with Ste, as you’ve probably heard. But then, nobody exists in that self-centred little head of his but himself at the moment. I guess you can’t blame him, what with losing so much, but it’s nothing compared to Elyn. She lost her best friend, her brother, and everyone else she knew. He introduced her to everyone, and when he stopped caring, he pushed everyone away. She lost every friend he had given her; he took them all away, and left her with no one but me. At least with you she has a shot at being happy. She’s a very lonely girl.”
         “I know what you mean. I’ve had family problems and friendship problems myself. Don’t worry, Chester, I will look after her.”
         “She needs you more than she knows, and more than she’ll ever admit. Anyway, this is using your credit, right?”
         “Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll ring her back later, when she’s awake. Thanks for watching out for her. I really appreciate it.”
         “I wouldn’t have it any other way. You look after yourself, Josh.”
         “You too, Chester. See ya.”
         “Bye.”
         Chester turned to see Elyn smiling up at him. She had heard the whole conversation.
         “You ok, sweetie?”
         “I am now.”
         With that, she closed her eyes again.

Chapter 5

         “Ely, why are you shaking?”
         “I’m not!”
         “I can feel you. And you look like you’re about to be sick.”
         “I’m just a little nervous, that’s all.”
         “Why?”
         “I want them to like me.”
         “Aw, they will! You are so beautiful, they are going to find it hard not to love you!” She smiled at how sweet he was, but it didn’t calm her much.
         “Well, can we change the subject? I wanna hear more about you!”
         “Erm…ok…”
         “Don’t be scared, you can trust me. I just wondered why you don’t like moshers, that’s all.”
         “Well, honestly, they scare me. I don’t know how to be around them without feeling uncomfortable, and Mark really hates them, so it kinda rubbed off onto me a lot, but I guess if I understood them more I wouldn’t feel so bad.”
         “Do I scare you?”
         “No, of course not!”
         “Did Chester scare you when he answered the phone?”
         “A little, but more because he was a stranger then a mosher, because I didn’t really see him so it didn’t matter what he looked like, just that we were talking.”
         “See! You’ve made a massive jump all ready! You’re looking past the mosher and seeing the person! Besides there’s nothing scary about Chester, I promise! Though I would put off meeting my brother for a while.”
         “Why?”
         “I told you about Mia, didn’t I?”
         “Yeah, but it’s a bit crazy to hate all townie’s just because of that!”
         “Like how crazy it is to hate mosher’s because they are different?”
         “I didn’t say I hated them!”
         “You did! The day you first saw me like this, you screamed at me and said you hated them all!”
         “Well, I was wrong…” Josh sensed the danger, and wrapped his arms defensively around her. She didn’t respond at first, he knew she was angry about what he had said that day. But to his surprise, instead of pushing him away, she burst into tears.
         “Whoa hey…angel…sweetie…what is it…aw Ely please don’t cry…what’s the matter?”
         “I…I’m s-scared…” she spluttered through shaky sobs. He pulled her tighter, letting her feel his heart beating, trying to sooth her. She slowly calmed down, as he started to rock her gently, almost lulling her to sleep.
         He looked up, and noticed an old woman in the seats below, looking forlornly out of the window. She was the only one on the bus with them, and she seemed to be in her own world, lonely and cold. He suddenly felt really alone himself, knowing Elyn was worlds apart from him in many ways, feeling how hard it would be for them both to trust each other, and he knew his fear was just as strong as hers. He could see her years from their current place, staring through the window like the old woman, alone and desperate. And he couldn’t bring himself to tell her why.
         “Hey, Ely, come on we are here.” He took her hand and led her off the bus, down a series of roads and alleys, which confused her, until they reached the better side of town.
         “Wow, you never told me you lived in a posh house!”
         “It’s Keith’s house. My Mum’s called Lucy, and my stepsister is called Leanne. My mum will like you, her ‘boyfriend’ might not, though, and Leanne doesn’t like anyone. But don’t worry; I only care about Mum’s opinion.”
         “Ok…”
         Josh opened the door with his key, and led her inside behind him.
         “Mum, I’m home!”
         “Hello, love. There’s some spring onions in the fridge for you, if you want!” came the reply from somewhere upstairs.
         “Not right now. Come here a minute, I want you to meet someone.”
         “Oh, hello!” Josh’s mum appeared at the top of the stairs. She had short dark hair, and Josh’s sparkly blue eyes. She looked cheerful, and smiled at Elyn, who had sensibly chosen to wear a black turtle-neck jumper and plain black pants with her plain boots, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.
         “Mum, this is Elyn, my girlfriend. El, this is my mum, Lucy.” Elyn felt her stomach flip when he said the word ‘girlfriend’, and she fought to hide her excitement, as she smiled up at Josh’s mum.
         “Hello. It’s really nice to meet you. I like your house.”
         “Thank you, love. Josh, why don’t you make her something to eat, you must be hungry, and it’s nearly lunchtime. Will she be stopping for tea?”
         “Not this time, Mum, just for a couple of hours. She has to be back by six. I just wanted her to meet you.”
         “Well, Leanne’s upstairs, and Keith should be home soon. Why don’t you fix her something to eat, and then you can show her your room. But don’t annoy Leanne, she’s working.”
         “Ok, Mum.” Josh took Elyn’s hand, led her into the kitchen, and sat her up on the work top, while he busied himself making some lunch. He worked like a pro, and in no time at all he had made pasta with chicken, ham, spring onions, sausages and some herbs and things which made it taste really nice. She ate it all fairly quickly, which was surprising for her, as she usually didn’t eat much.
         When they had finished, he took her upstairs, and showed her his room. It was really clean, and they sat for a while playing on the PS2 before she had to go home. Josh led her downstairs towards the door, but Leanne was standing there. She had bleached blonde hair and reminded Elyn very strongly of Kelly.
         “Who’s that?” Leanne eyed Elyn in disgust. Elyn suddenly felt a sense of strong foreboding, and squeezed Josh’s hand tighter.
         “My girlfriend. Why?”
         “She looks like a corpse! I thought you hated mosher’s, Josh! Mark won’t be happy when he finds out!”
         Josh almost said that Elyn wasn’t a mosher, but had to stop himself, because he remembered that she actually was. He cared about her so much., he didn’t even class her as a mosher any more. But before he could say anything else, Keith appeared behind them. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and Elyn instantly didn’t like him. He looked very strong and powerful, and Elyn wanted to hide somewhere far away where he couldn’t find her. She felt Josh squeeze her hand in reassurance, because she was shaking really badly, and he was really worried about her.
         “Who’s this, Josh?”
         “My girlfriend. She’s called Elyn.”
         “Why didn’t you introduce her to me?”
         “Because you weren’t here when we got in, and I didn’t know you were back.”
         “Where are you going?”
         “I’m taking her home.”
         “Can’t she make her own way home?”
         “She doesn’t know the way yet.”
         “She can learn, can’t she? You’re not stupid, are you?” He looked at her with a glare that made her blood run cold, and she just shook her head, too afraid to do anything else. Josh gripped her hand tighter, but she realised with horror that he wasn’t afraid. He was angry, and she could tell he was about to lose his temper. He couldn’t stand the way Keith was trying to bully Elyn, and he wouldn’t stand for it much longer.
         She touched his arm with her other hand in a gesture which made him loosen his grip slightly, and take a breath. At that moment, Josh’s mum came in from the kitchen, oblivious to the tension.
         “Hey honey, you going home now? It was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Elyn, love. Hope to see you soon! Would you like a lift, or…”
         “No, mum, it’s ok. I’m riding back with her, so I should be home in a couple of hours. I’ll see you later.” Josh led Elyn outside, guiding her in front to keep her away from Keith, who had simply walked away and left it. He heard his mum gushing to Keith about how much of a gentleman her son was being, but he didn’t wait long enough to hear her answer. He kept walking pretty quickly, and Elyn had to run to keep up. She pulled on his hand, until he span round to face her.
         “What was all that about?”
         “Stupid son of a bitch! Can’t keep his nose out of other people’s business!”
         “Josh…” the note in Elyn’s voice made him look at her, and he instantly calmed down. She pulled him close into a hug, and felt him sag slowly to the floor, with his back against the wall. She knelt beside him, and wrapped her arms around him, letting him rest his tired head on her shoulder. She knew he was really depressed about his family life, she could tell whenever he spoke about them. But she didn’t realise it was that bad.
         “Has he ever hurt you?” She knew it was a sensitive question, but she couldn’t get thoughts of Chester out of her head, and it blurted out. He shook his head, but he tried to pull her closer, and she noticed tears in his eyes. She held him tighter, letting him break down in her arms. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry, and she realised how serious his problems were. She cradled him in her arms, as he started sobbing openly, grasping her clothing through desperation, wanting her to take away the pain. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Elyn about it, not then, but she knew it was bad, and he needed her more than he had ever heeded anyone, or knew he could need her.
         “Elyn…I’m so scared…” he sobbed, while she stroked his head gently, and tried to calm him down.
         “Don’t worry, sweetheart, it’s going to be all right. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you, you’re safe. I’m gonna protect you, I swear. Do you feel safe with me?” He nodded through his tears, and realised he was telling the truth. She did make him feel safe.
         Once he had started, it was hard to calm him down, but soon he stopped crying, and they both headed for the bus. Elyn grew really protective the whole way home, hugging him for most of it, and always holding his hand. She was really worried about him going home, and he didn’t look in any state to, so she asked her parent’s if he could stay there for tea. Her dad said he didn’t mind taking him home afterwards, and Josh’s mum said it was ok.

         When they reached Elyn’s house, Josh was amazed at how different it was. The streets were scruffy, with rubbish lying around, and gangs of kids walking up and down, drinking and shouting. Her street was full of graffiti and houses with boards on them, and her house itself had no front fencing because local kids had torn it down.
Inside the house it was much nicer, clean and tidy. But Josh could tell with the little amounts of furniture and things that they didn’t have a lot of money. Though they seemed really nice. Her mother, Susan, had long brown hair, which curled into tight waves, and dark eyes, where her father, Peter, had almost black hair, straight and short, with misty hazel eyes. They both greeted Josh really friendly and warm, gave them tea almost straight away, before letting them go upstairs.
         Elyn’s room was pretty small but she didn’t seem to have much in it. She told him she slept in the attic sometimes, which was even smaller, but she lived up there most of the time because she liked it. Both had beds in them, though the one in the attic was more of a mattress on the floor, and the one in the little room was a box bed with drawers and a cupboard under it. There was a small desk with a PC, and her walls and wardrobe were covered with Chester’s cartoon drawings and posters of dragons, with pictures of them all when they were closer, climbing trees, eating ice cream at the beach.
         One picture showed a very pretty girl, in a very lacy and sexy black clothing, with jet-black hair cut to just above her shoulders and held back with a silver clip. She was wearing make up in a way that really suited her, and Josh had to admit she looked stunning. He didn’t need to ask who it was.
         “She was really special…” Elyn sat on the steps of her bunk, watching him. He turned to face her, and smiled really warmly as he walked up to Elyn.
         “So are you…” He took her hand, and led her up the winding stairs to the attic room. He lay her down on the little mattress, covered with cushions, and started kissing her. His senses were filled with the thrilling scent of her body, the place she slept, the clothes she wore, where she spent most of her free time in general. He slipped his hand up her back under her black jumper, and was delighted to notice she was only wearing a satin black bra underneath. But he didn’t push her, and suddenly she pulled back as if in horror of what was about to happen.
         Josh stopped instantly as if he had been stung. “I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! Was I going too fast? I didn’t mean to pressure you! I’m sorry…” She stopped his lips with her fingers, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw something that scared him. She was hiding a darkness from him, and she had to tell him before he continued, but she was struggling. He tilted her chin to make her meet his eyes, and deliberately kissed her on the forehead, then the lips, then her head again.
         “Elyn, I know we have only been together for almost a month, but I really care about you, and you can tell me anything, I don’t mind. I won’t get mad, I’ll try and understand, I promise. Just tell me what it is.”
         “You know I have a lot of problems, don’t you?”
         “Yea…”
         “Well…I don’t always handle hem very well…and…” she started to cry, but he didn’t pull her close at first, because he suddenly realised what she was trying to tell him, and he was praying he was wrong. But when she let him roll up her sleeves, he knew from the scars he was right. And when he slipped the jumper over her head, he saw them she was covered in them, marks of desperation and depression. She sought his eyes, begging him to understand, but he said nothing.
         Instead, he reached out his hand and touched the marks, feeling the roughness, the pain, and bravely facing it. He moved to her back, where there were hardly any, and let his hands continue, careful not to go near her bra but lying her down and stroking her stomach, letting her relax. He leaned forward, brushed her hair aside, and started kissing her smooth neck, before whispering in her ear.
         “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen…”
         She looked into his eyes, and saw the honesty. Bravely, she unbuttoned his shirt, and let her hands wander over his chest and back, just like he had, touching tender places. She gently kissed his knuckles, where he had punched far too many walls, bruises on his body, and scars from scratches even deeper than hers sometimes.
         Elyn looked into his eyes, and saw that he was crying again. She wanted to reach out to him, but he had curled himself into a protective ball. She moved closer, and coaxed him to lay his head on her knee. She knew at least some of the marks on his body were self-inflicted, and wondered if some weren’t, but she vowed that she would try and help him by stopping herself as much as she could, and always being there for him. When she looked down again, she realised he was asleep, and she covered him in her blanket to keep him warm while he rested. Elyn put on a tight top in case anyone came up, but she knew there probably wasn’t any need.
         After about 20mins, he grew restless, and she lay next to him, letting him curl up in her arms. He fell calm at once, feeling safe because he knew she was there. They lay like that for a long time, until a shout from her parents woke them, and they took Josh home.

         In the car on the way back, Elyn turned over in her mind what had happened. She knew she had helped him by letting him talk to her, but she also knew she had a lot of help to give him if he would let her. And what he had said about his kidneys had upset her a lot, because she knew he wasn’t well, and was scared. She couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to him, but she knew she had to try and be strong for him.

         When Josh got home, Keith wasn’t around, so he said goodnight to his mum, and went straight to bed. He felt much better about what he had said to Elyn now that he had opened up to her more, but the fact that Ste hadn’t appeared all night to meet him was bothering him. He knew it would be hard to win Ste over, but he was determined to try, for Elyn’s sake. He also knew that one day he would have to tell her everything, but that was going to be much harder than anything he had ever had to do. He just wished he had the guts to tell her.

Chapter 6

         “Leanne told me you are going out with a goth. Is it true?”
         “She’s not a goth, she’s a mosher.”
         “JOSH! What the hell do you think you are doing? You know they are nothing but trouble! She’s gonna screw you over! They all do!”
         “Mark, don’t be so dramatic. Elyn’s not like that. She’s different.”
         “Yeah, she’s different! Very different! Look, one day she’s gonna meet some guy who’s a mosher like her, and she will dump you like a tonne of bricks! That’s what mosher girls do!”
         “No, that’s what all girls can do! And Elyn’s just not like that! She really likes me, Mark, not just for a bit of fun, but for real. You wouldn’t understand.”
         “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you! I have never seen you with any girl for more than five minutes! And now suddenly you’re in love with one and you’ve been with her a month! You really are one hell of a crazy bastard. Good luck with her! Don’t come running back to me when the bitch fucks you off!”
         “Mark…” Josh began but to a dull buzzing tone, which indicated that Mark had hung up. Josh was really confused; he couldn’t understand why his best friend had gone berserk like that. He lay back on his bed, and looked at a picture Elyn had given her from her brother’s party. It showed her in a pretty black halter neck dress, with Mia, Ste and Chester. She was between Mia and Chester, with Ste on the far side next to Mia. He looked almost detached on the photograph, with Mia trying to pull him closer to Elyn. The only two who looked really close were Chester and Elyn, and Josh knew they were best friends. But what Mark had said made Josh feel really uneasy. Maybe Elyn would choose someone else over him…

         “Hey, Kelly, is Chester home?”
         “Oh, hi there, Stephen. Nah, I don’t think he’s here at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?”
         “I don’t think so. Thanks anyway.”
He started to walk away, but Kelly shouted him back.
         “Hay, I was just wondering what you think of Elyn’s new fella.”
         “I don’t know…she has a boyfriend?”
         “He’s been at yours for tea all ready! I Elyn told me. I just thought you’d be really protective, that’s all.”
         “Yea, well she does what she wants, it’s nothing to do with me.”
         “Oh, but I thought you would have been against it since, you know, he’s a townie and everything…”
         “What?”
         “He’s a townie. Apparently he nearly didn’t go out with her because of her being a mosher, and now he’s trying to get her to change because he thinks she looks like a whore.” Kelly had made that last part up, but she wanted to make Ste mad. Elyn was the only person who ever talked to her like a person, and she was a really good friend to everyone. Kelly didn’t want to be responsible for breaking them up, but she didn’t want to lose Elyn. So she figured if she made Ste mad enough, he could do it for her. And it seemed to be working.
         “No wonder she never told me! Why didn’t she? Did you say Chester knew?”
         “Yea, all along. She was talking to him about it before they got together.”
         “Right. Thanks for telling me, Kelly. I am going to have a little word with my sister.”
         “Ok…Bye!” Kelly closed the door, with a big grin on her face.
         “Who was that?”
         “Nobody, just a friend of mine. Have you spoken to Elyn recently?”
         “No, she’s out with Jayne today.” Chester smiled. He was beginning to remember Jayne, and was getting ready to go and meet them. He ran upstairs, grabbed his things, and left the house, heading for Darwen town centre to catch a bus to Blackburn.
         In town, he spotted Ste tearing across the road to the bus himself. Chester tried to catch up, but then thought better of it, thinking if Ste was in such a mood it might be better to avoid him. He waited for the next bus, and stopped off at the Boulevard. Getting a text from the girls, he headed off to Church Street, which was the “place to be” for moshers on a weekend.

         Jayne turned to Elyn suddenly and said, “can we go to Zodiac for a minute? I want to have a look.”
         “Er…yeah, sure. Why? Something wrong?”
         “Possibly. I don’t know what, but I don’t feel like we should stay here. Come on…” Jayne started to run, with Elyn in tow, trying to write another message to Chester, but eventually giving up and just running after Jayne.

         “I want a word with you!” Chester turned to face Ste, who looked angrier than he had ever seen him before. He instantly knew this was about Elyn and Josh, but decided to play dumb and see what happened.
         “Hey man, what’s up?”
         “Don’t act stupid with me, ass hole! I know about Elyn! Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this chav bastard she’s with?”
         “Because I knew you’d do this! Elyn’s happy! Leave her alone!”
         “Happy? No way, not with him! I won’t have it! You are supposed to be my friend! You should have told me!”
         “What kind of a friend have you been? You’ve abandoned your sister! You shut me out completely! You are only a friend what it suits you, and to hell with everyone else!”
         “That’s not true!”
         “You were so wrapped up in your own world, you have no idea what you’ve done to Elyn! The damage you caused her! And don’t you say it’s all because of Mia! Don’t you DARE use her memory like that! You weren’t the only one who loved her, you know. So don’t give me that shit!” Ste didn’t say another word, instead her leapt at Chester, knocking him to the ground, and punched him furiously in the face until his lip was bleeding.
         The only thing that stopped him was the thought of Mia, and what she would think about what he was doing. He got up, leaving Chester spitting blood on the floor.
         “Stay the hell away from my sister.” Ste spat with venom, before turning and walking away. Chester shakily got up, and was instantly surrounded by worried moshers, who had seen the attack. He bravely said he was fine, and went to find Elyn.
         “Oh my god, Chester, what happened?”
         “Ste came looking for me. He knows about you and Josh. Be careful, El.” Chester hugged Elyn, glad for every word he had said, knowing it would make Ste think. The girls helped clean him up, and they all went for a walk. Josh rang them, and Elyn told Josh what Ste had done. She kept telling him not to worry, but he sounded pretty upset. He couldn’t stand the idea of anyone hurting Elyn, and knew that Ste was clearly angry enough. She assured him she could handle herself, and she made him go and make himself something to eat, because he hadn’t eaten all day. He mentioned talking to Mark, but not everything Mark had said. He didn’t want to distress her more than she all ready was. He did as he was told, and forgot about Mark’s comment because he was so worried about Elyn.

         When Elyn finally went home, Ste was in his room. She made herself something to eat, and went up to the attic room, where she felt safest.          She had finished her food, washed up, and was watching one of her favourite films when she finally heard from Ste. He knocked at the door at the bottom of the stairs, and she stayed silent. She lay down and closed her eyes, and felt him crawl up beside her. She didn’t stir, and he didn’t try and wake her. But he did stay there for a long time, so long she actually did fall asleep, and the next thing she knew it was pitch dark outside, and he had gone. She finished watching her film, and then she fell asleep again.

         Ste had no idea that Chester had been in love with Mia, but the way that he had said her name, and that other people loved her too, it was like he had been hit with a brick wall. If he had known that, he would never have gone out with her, and Chester had said nothing when he did.
         Chester had been such a good friend; letting Ste be happy, and letting go of the girl he loved. And Ste had thrown it all back in his face.
         But Ste couldn’t work out what Chester meant about Elyn. She had simply got her own life, and lost interest in him. They just drifted apart, he hadn’t done anything, and he hadn’t changed a bit. Sure, he had stolen Chester’s girl, but he was still the same guy apart from that. It was Elyn who had changed. His Elyn would never even look at a townie, let alone date one!
         The next day, he saw Elyn again. She was getting ready to go out, presumably with her boyfriend. He followed her outside as she was leaving.
         “I wanna talk to you.” She spun round, facing him square on and defensively, ready to fight her corner. He had expected her to listen to him, but he could see from the way she faced him now that she wasn’t innocent anymore. She could fight her own battles, and she didn’t need him anymore.
         “Why the hell are you going out with a townie?”
         “Because I want to. What the hell does it have to do with you?”
         “I’m you’re brother. And I don’t want you to see him anymore.”
         “What?”
         “He’s using you! End it! I don’t want you to see him anymore!
         “You can’t tell me what to do!”
         “He’s changed you, Elyn! You’re not my sister anymore; he’s changed you too much! Please, don’t go out with him!”
         “Ste, I won’t be bullied by you! I am doing what I want, and I am happy. You can’t take that away from me!”
         “Look at you! Wearing clothes like that! You look like a tart!”
         “These were Mia’s things, Ste. What, they’re good enough for her, and not for me? You really are a hypocrite.”
         “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH HER CLOTHES? YOU BITCH!”
         “I love him, Stephen!” This last comment stopped him dead. He couldn’t say anything, and he didn’t want to. He let her turn away from him, and walk down the road, and he didn’t say a word. He couldn’t. He was too shocked at how much she had changed, like he didn’t even know who she was anymore, and he hadn’t even noticed!

         When Jayne saw Elyn coming around the corner, she realised there were tears in her eyes, and instantly knew Ste had found out about her and Josh. She never once questioned how she knew these things, she just did.
         “Elyn, are you ok?”
         “I don’t know…he went mad at me…”
         “He just doesn’t understand what’s happened, that’s all. He will learn to come to terms with it eventually. Have you told Josh?”
         “Not yet. I don’t want to worry him.”
         “How long has it been now anyway?”
         “Just over a month. He bought me a rose on Valentines Day and everything! I have never had a proper boyfriend before, not one who seems to care so much about me, and Ste just wants to ruin everything! He won’t even try to understand!”
         “Give him time. He will do one day. And if your relationship with Josh can last despite all these problems, then it means you will be much stronger for it as a couple. Just wait. He’ll come round.”
         “I hope you’re right.”

         “Hey, Jayne. Who’s your friend?”
         “This is Elyn. You know, Ste Jesston’s little sister, the one going out with Josh.”
         “Oh, yeah! Hi! I’m Loella, I’ve heard all about you from Mark! He doesn’t seem to like you much.”
         “No, but you know what he’s like! Anyway, we are going upstairs. Want to join us?”
         “No, I have loads of college work to do. But it was nice meeting you, Elyn.”
         “Yeah, you too.”
The girls wandered upstairs, and once in Jayne’s room, she turned to Elyn.
         “My sister goes to Mary’s with your brother and Chester. She has been crazy about Ste for ages, but never has the guts to say anything. That’s something her and me have in common. Letting Mia get there first, and not saying anything to stop it…”
         “Chester probably does like you, he seemed really pleased to know we had started talking, and was keen to meet you yesterday. If you like I could have a friendly word, see if he’s interested.”
         “Oh, wow! Would you? I really like him! That would be amazing! Thank you!” Jayne gushed and blushed in a way that Elyn had never seen her do before. She vowed to talk to Chester, because it was obvious that Jayne was besotted, and Elyn was sure she had seen something in the way Chester had looked at Jayne the day before. They had talked so much that Elyn had barely got a word in, but she didn’t mind. She knew it would have been perfect if they got together, and hoped they could both be happy if they did.
         But it all depended on Chester.


Want more?
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Darker shade Of Light : Part Three  (18+) The third part of my story #1107028 by Lil Uni Cheshy