World's Best Grandpa

World's Best Grandpa

Old, rickety, managing to avoid death

Likes to start his statements with "years ago we had this, years ago

we did'nt have this"

Knew it was bad when I caught him showing his thing to some neighborhood girls-said it was candy

I tried to hang him in the tub, threw a well thought out noose round his chicken neck

Only the floor was wet and I slipped and snapped a leg

Gramps wasnt even breathing hard when he gave me a lollipop in the hospital

It all boils down to something. When I got out, Grandpa told me not to worry about the army comin' round, comin' round-soon we will all sleep in the cold, hard ground

We never discussed the attempted hanging in the tub