Making Her See

“NO!” She screamed and tried to take a swing at James who happened to be standing near her, but James just stood there and let her hit him. It was obviously painful for her to move that way. The blow was weak, it seemed to annoy her, and she retreated once again. “Don’t you get it? I have no where to go. My parents are dead, I’ve never had a job, I don’t have any family. What am I supposed to do if Brody is dead? I have no where to go.”
Nina sat down hard on her bed in a slump, and stuck her thumb back in her mouth. James looked at Vivica, but she was staring wide-eyed into space, hugging her shoulders tight.
“Nina,” James sat down on the bed next to her. “Nina!” He grabbed the back of her neck so that she was forced to look into his face. He tried to ignore the sheepishness he felt from Vivica’s presence, and focused on Nina in front of him.
“I’m so sick of this shit with you!” he said sternly, trying to keep his words quiet enough so that Vivica didn’t hear. “You’re smart and you’re so beautiful, but you give up! You play this routine that you…you…that you have nothing going on. Like you have nothing worth fighting for, but that’s such bullshit! Nina you have so much to look forward to, you have the whole world at your feet, you just have to stop being so fucking lazy and reach out and take it.” He glanced at Vivica. She caught his eye and politely left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Even though they were alone, James was ashamed to let the tears fall from his eyes. With his hand still on the back of Nina’s neck, he bowed his head and the warm drops fell, exploding on her wrist. He didn’t see her turn her palm up to catch his tears in her hand.
“Nina, you have me. You don’t know that you have all of me,” he said softly. “I wanted to die when I saw you in Brody’s basement, tied and beaten. I’m so ashamed to have let that happen.” He began to sob, but caught himself and took a deep breath, speaking slowly as he looked into her face again. Now she looked back into his eyes, her own twinkling with tears as well. “Please don’t give up this time. Don’t give up on yourself, don’t give up on me. I can make you happy if you let me, but you have to let me! You can’t give up,” he pleaded. “I know – no, I don’t know. But you probably could never believe the misery that I’m in knowing what he did to you. That he’s felt you, and I haven’t. I couldn’t… I can’t….”
Nina’s face twisted and her one eye squeezed out a stream of tears. She was so broken and her flesh still so tender, James knew he couldn’t pull her to him and squeeze her the way he felt like doing. Instead, he leaned forward and laid his damp cheek against hers, listening to her sob and breath in his ear.
“I’m so in love with you,” he whispered to her. “I’m so in love with you.”