Living with Fibromyalgia

Living with Fibromyalgia

I'm off work again today, and again my boss won't understand these four days off. Sometimes I think no one at all understands. Even the doctors don't have a clue. "All we can do is try to treat it symptomatically" my doctor told me.
According to the Mayo Clinic's website (a wonderful source for anything medical), Fibromyaligia is an incurable illness that causes joint swelling and pain. Typically patients with Fibromyalgia also have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and RLS (Restless Legs Syndrome) along with a host of other problems.
For me, the pain in my knees started when I was about 10. My mom started taking me to doctors by the time I was 11. Over the years I've been tested for absolutely everything, and at one time or another, I've been 'diagnosed' with almost everything. One very frustrated doctor told my mother that he was out of ideas, and that I must be faking it. My very intuitive mother knew I wasn't faking the swelling, and she knew it was painful for me. Over a period of 34 years I have been poked, prodded, injected, x-rayed, MRI'd, casted, sent to therapy, sent to psychologists, and a host of other mental health personnel. Last night, 34 years later, I was told it was Fibromyalgia. Amazingly, with the help of the Mayo Clinics website, I went to the doctor three months ago with my list of symptoms and told him I have Fibromyalgia. After three months of referrals and additional testing, he agreed with me.
Living with Fibromyalgia: When you wake in the morning, every joint in your body aches and feels stiff, like arthritis. Swelling is mildly evident. You feel like you haven't slept yet. Your legs don't always work right and the chances of tripping over your own feet are tremendous. You try to push through the pain and get on with your day. You fight the depression and make yourself move. Push through the pain and make it through the day. Your drive to work can be a very interesting one, since your extremities don't want to cooperate with your brain. You get out of your car very gingerly, so as not to fall on your face in the parking lot. The stress of 'pushing through the pain' usually tears your nerves up, which makes your IBS kick in and you walk as quickly as you are able, to the bathroom where your stomach explodes from the pressure. You make it to your desk, start to work, and your legs start jumping uncontrollably from the RLS. During the work day, you get up several times to keep from getting to stiff to move, but each time you do, you hold on to something to keep from falling. You work harder on staying awake than you do on your work. The fatigue is the most typical of all the symptoms. In the workplace it is easily misinterpreted as being slow, uninterested, disengaged, bored, unorganized, etc.
You make it home again, and even though you want sleep, you make dinner for the family. Next you push through the pain and clean the kitchen. Your joints are very swollen by now, and they hurt. From your hips up, you're exhausted and want nothing more than sleep. You finally lay down to rest, and your legs decide it's time to run track, and they don't even care that your upper body won't cooperate. The frustration upsets your stomach.
I am currently taking seven different medications every day to treat the symptoms. I used to live to dance and I can't do that anymore at all. I love to write but the action it takes to write hurts my wrists and elbows. Typing is better, but it makes your shoulders hurt too. I love playing pool too. Unfortunately, the force it takes to break, feels like it breaks my elbow. I'm still pushing through that pain; it's my only social activity now. I don't know how long I'll be able to continue.
If putting this in writing helps one person better understand the illness, then I'm glad I can still type. If you know someone with this debilitating disease, or if you have it, go the Mayo Clinic's website and learn all you can. Knowing someone understands how you feel really helps to ease the emotional side of this illness.
For this article, you can sign me 'pushing through it, again today'...Thanks for listening.