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by JLF Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Family · #1106384
Bryanne deals with dead-beat dad's unexpected presence at her wedding
BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OVER
a play in one act
by JLF



Copyright © 2006 by Jenny Lynn Ferguson
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
CHARACTERS

BRYANNE COLBERN, 24, bride-to-be
IAN THOMPSON, 26, Bryanne’s fiancé
DAVID COLBERN, 48, Bryanne’s estranged father
WRENN COLBERN, 17, Bryanne’s younger half-sister
ZONA PFIEFFER, 75, Bryanne’s maternal grandmother
NATHAN PFIEFFER, 78, Bryanne’s maternal grandfather
KATIE SCHILLING, 22, Bryanne’s best friend and maid of honor
EVELYN GIPSON, 24, Bryanne’s college roommate and friend, bridesmaid
KIM DAVIES, 24, Bryanne’s other college roommate and friend, bridesmaid
JEFF ZANT, 26, Ian’s best friend and best man
OTHER FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND WEDDING GUESTS

TIME
The present, October

PLACE
Zona and Nathan’s farm outside of Lubbock, Texas, a sprawling cotton farm with a one-story, ranch-style, 3-bedroom house with a large yard/garden where the wedding itself takes place.
Most of the play takes place in the Pfieffer’s yard where paper lanterns and decorations hang from the trees and a small gazebo is set up for the ceremony. A large wooden deck with a porch swing and three “tractor chairs” (chairs made from old tractor seats) is connected to the house and lies behind the gazebo. The rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, and reception all take place in front of the gazebo, with the proper set pieces for each occasion
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Scene 1
(The lights come up on a rehearsal dinner already in progress. Everyone is wearing slightly dressy, though not formal, attire, seated around medium sized round tables with votive candles and vases with brightly colored flowers in the center. At the head table, in front of the gazebo, a well-dressed young man, JEFF, stands and begins to tap his glass, indicating his desire to make a toast)

JEFF
(While he gives his toast, the GUESTS react with laughter and other appropriate forms of exclamations)
I have known Ian for most of my life, though there have been many times that I wished I’d never met him. For instance the time when he nearly got me arrested trying to break into the high school just so he could get his backpack and finish his homework over the weekend instead of doing it right before class like the rest of us. Or the time he nearly got me beat up in a biker bar so he could play a real game of pool and feel like Paul Newman. Or the time he met Bryanne, and I thought I was going to get beat up again. You all know the story: Ian and I searching the library for books for my research project, asking a pretty junior librarian for help when she was obviously busy, Ian and junior librarian yelling at each other in the stacks while everyone else tried to shush them, and Ian finally yelling, “Will you go out for coffee with me?!” to which she replied, “I don’t really like coffee. But how about dinner instead?” And that is how they started; that is how they ended up here. So now let’s all raise our glasses to toast Ian and Bry, the bride and groom to be!

GUESTS
(clinking glasses and applauding)
To Ian and Bry!

(After a beat, quiet conversation continues amongst the GUESTS. The wedding party at the head table is laughing. BRYANNE reaches across IAN and playfully punches JEFF)

BRYANNE
That is not how it happened at all, Jeff!

IAN
Yeah, you know Bry would have never asked me out herself. I practically had to wear her down asking if she liked tea instead before I finally asked her to dinner.

JEFF
Very true, but for the sake of expediency I edited the story a bit. Your great-aunt June looked like she was falling asleep, despite my charismatic ability for storytelling. Besides I didn’t want to make you the complete villain of the piece, Bry.

BRYANNE
How would I have been the villain?

IAN
You were awfully testy and hard to ask out, you know. I know why he changed it, though: he just gets so sad telling the story, knowing that he could’ve had you had he moved a little quicker.

JEFF
Because I’m really attracted to the bitingly acerbic type.

IAN
Don’t knock it ‘till you try it, man.

BRYANNE
Hey! I am not acerbic. And stop using those $50 words; you’re making my family uncomfortable with all that stuffy, educated talk.

JEFF
This from the girl with an MA in English who uses words like ‘exasperating’ in her e-mails.

BRYANNE
Well, you are exasperating, Jeff. Besides, you’re the one who threatened to kidnap Ian to Vegas the night before the wedding for a ‘real blowout’ bachelor party.

JEFF
Who said I was threatening?

BRYANNE
Jeff, maybe you haven’t noticed, but my grandparents have a lot of open land out here, as well as a good number of shovels and grandsons who’d be more than happy to do their sweet little baby cousin a favor by—

IAN
—Okay, you two, settle down. Nobody’s going to Vegas and nobody’s getting buried beneath next years’ cotton crop. Can you try to be civil to each other, for me? Otherwise you’ll ruin my wedding completely.

JEFF
I didn’t want to take you to Vegas anyway. I was hoping all us guys could just “accidentally” forget you and have a bachelor party in your honor. We could have had fun, and you wouldn’t be in any trouble with the little missus here. How perfect is—

(The sound of silverware clinking on glass is heard again, but not from the head table. Everyone looks around to find the source, finally noticing a man standing on the fringes of their party in a slightly threadbare suit, aising a glass for a toast. Most don’t recognize him. BRYANNE does, as do ZONA and NATHAN, who quickly move towards BRYANNE)

DAVID
I would like to make a toast. To Bryanne, my eldest daughter. I’m so happy I could be here for your weddin’. And I look forward to gettin’ to know Ian and makin’ sure he’s the right man for my little girl. Congratulations, Bubba!

(Most of the GUESTS now look decidedly nervous, but they join in the toast, looking back and forth between BRYANNE and DAVID. After a beat, BRYANNE rises from the table, nods and smiles at the guests, then walks to the opposite side of the stage from DAVID, stopping just beyond the edge of the party. IAN, ZONA, NATHAN, and KATIE follow her. WRENN goes over to DAVID and stops him from following BRYANNE, pushing him back towards edge of the crowd)

ZONA
(not bothering to lower her voice)
Who in the hell invited him?!

NATHAN
Mammaw, keep your voice down.

ZONA
It’s not the worst he’s heard from me, nor will hear before the night’s through. The nerve of him, showin’ up like that.

KATIE
(to BRYANNE)
Are you okay, Bry?

BRYANNE
Sure. I’m great.

KATIE
Bry…

BRYANNE
All right, I’m mad as hell! Why is he here? How’d he even know?

KATIE
Maybe…maybe Wrenn accidentally let it slip out the last time they talked. You know she’s not very good at keeping a secret.

IAN
Wrenn didn’t tell him about the wedding.

KATIE
Then who did?

IAN
Me.
(Everyone stops and turns to look at IAN. BRYANNE looks away and begins to shake. KATIE grabs hold of her arm)
Please, Bry, just listen before you…well, do anything. I invited him for you…as a surprise. Not a very good one, I know, but I had the best of intentions—

KATIE
— Ian—

IAN
(talking over KATIE)
—I know you haven’t spoken to him in two years and that you said you didn’t want him here, but, Bry, I know you. Years down the road you’d hate yourself for never giving him at least the chance of being here. And look! He is here. Maybe he’s changed.

KATIE
Ian, why don’t you go over there with Wrenn and meet David? You haven’t met him yet.

IAN
But I have to tell her—

KATIE
—It wasn’t really a polite suggestion.

(IAN looks to BRYANNE, then nods and walks over to join WRENN and DAVID)

ZONA
Honey, you know that if you wanna call this whole thing off, your grandfather and I will support you.

NATHAN
Mammaw!

ZONA
Well, my lans, look what that boy did! Not exactly looking like the model husband now, is he?


BRYANNE
Mammaw, I’m not calling the wedding off just because Ian invited…him. He was trying to do something good; he just…missed the mark…by a lot.

ZONA
Bryanne—

BRYANNE
—Both of you, please, stop worrying. I’ll be fine. And do not go and talk to him, Mammaw. I’d really rather not have to go to the hospital two days before my wedding.

ZONA
I am not as frail as all that! I raised you, didn’t I, durin’ all your crazy teenage mood swings and everythin'. I’m not gonna collapse over some yellin’ at your poor excuse for a father.

BRYANNE
I know. I meant I’d have to go the hospital because he was somehow injured. By you. Please, go and sit down, relax. I’ll take care of it.

NATHAN
Come on, Mammaw, you heard the boss.
(He takes ZONA’s arm and walks her back to their table)

BRYANNE
Where do you think they keep their shovels, Katie? In the barn, right?

KATIE
Bryanne!

BRYANNE
All right, no shovels. Maybe we could stuff him in a cotton module instead. Then when they found him at the gin we could claim it was some terrible module-builder accident, we didn’t even know he was in there.

KATIE
Bry, you know that’d be too difficult to pull off.

(They both laugh. BRYANNE looks over at DAVID, now sitting down at one of the tables, talking while those around him laugh. His listeners
keep throwing glances in her direction as he talks. IAN and WRENN watch BRYANNE like hawks throughout, flanking DAVID on either side)

BRYANNE
Why? Why did this happen to me? I thought I was going to be one of those lucky brides who has an unstressful, or at least only minorly stressful, wedding, but no! Not gonna happen now.

KATIE
It’ll be all right. If it bothers you that much, just tell him to leave. If he won’t, well, that’s what you have seven male cousins for. Do not let him ruin this.

BRYANNE
I don’t plan to. Just, tell Ian to keep him away from me, and to keep away himself, too.

KATIE
So is that one of my maid of honor-ly duties? Keep away the people who bother you, even if it’s the groom?

BRYANNE
It is now.

(WRENN cross to join BRYANNE and KATIE)

WRENN
(rapidly)
I swear I didn’t tell him! He called last week and was asking me lots of questions, all suspicious, but I wouldn’t tell him anything, just that I was coming to visit for the week because you had time and I had time and that’s what good sisters do, they visit each other when they both have time. I didn’t tell him anything!

BRYANNE
Wrenn, I know! Calm down. It’s all right, I know you didn’t tell him.

WRENN
But you didn’t…then who did?

BRYANNE
My loving fiancé. I’m going to kill him after the rehearsal dinner. Wanna help?

WRENN
I would say yes, but I really don’t want to go to jail. … Are you okay?

BRYANNE
I’m royally pissed off, but other than that I’m fine. I’m fine. I am totally—

DAVID
(crosses to them, escaping all the people trying to keep him engaged)
—Bubba! I thought I’d never get away. You know, I was just talkin' to Amy, and I had no idea that she'd gotten married. Ain’t that something! And now you’re getting’ married. I never thought I’d see this day. Almost can’t believe it. And I am just so damn happy to be here!

BRYANNE
You’re not supposed to be here.

KATIE
Bryanne—
(puts a hand on BRYANNE’S shoulder)

BRYANNE
—Katie, I’m fine.

KATIE
All right.
(She walks back to the head table, joining an anxious looking KIM and EVELYN. Everyone is keeping a close eye on BRYANNE and DAVID)

DAVID
I really like that you girls were tryin’ to surprise your dear ol’ dad by sending a “secret invitation.” Bubba, you should have heard your little sister on the phone with me last week, “I’m just going to visit Bry, because it’s what sisters do, they visit each other.” I would’ve thought it was just her typical nonsense if I hadn’t gotten the invite two days before.
(wagging a finger at WRENN)
But you didn’t fool me, young lady.

BRYANNE
(brusquely)
No one was trying to fool you. I didn’t want you here.

DAVID
But the invitation—

BRYANNE
—Ian sent it, without my knowledge or consent. Not me. That should have been obvious given the almost total lack of communication we’ve had for the past thirteen years.

DAVID
Why do you always talk like that around me?

BRYANNE
What exactly are you talking about?

DAVID
That! All that proper, convoluted English that makes me feel dumb.

BRYANNE
I always talk this way. But then, you wouldn’t know that since we haven’t spoken for thirteen years.

DAVID
Through no fault of mine.

BRYANNE
Through every fault of yours!

WRENN
Bry—

BRYANNE
—Wrenn…why don’t you go join the other girls? They can fill you in on all the fun, bachelorette-party surprises they have in store for tonight.

WRENN
Are you sure—

BRYANNE
—Very sure. Go on. David and I need to talk.

(WRENN joins KATIE and the other girls at the head table)

DAVID
Why do you that?

BRYANNE
Do what?

DAVID
Call me “David.” I’m your dad, aren’t I?

BRYANNE
I don’t know. Are you?

DAVID
Bubba, don’t be like that. This—

BRYANNE
—Stop calling me “Bubba.” I hate it.

DAVID
But…it’s what I’ve always called ya. Since you were a baby.

BRYANNE
Well, I’m not a baby anymore and I don’t like being called…that! Why—why did you have to come? Do you want to ruin my wedding?

DAVID
You know I would never want that. I just wanted to see you get married. To be the proud father walkin’ his daughter down the aisle and all that Hallmark card crap.

BRYANNE
Pa Nate will be walking me down the aisle, not you. If you wanted all of that, maybe you should have made more of an effort to be a part of my life for the past, oh, twenty-four years! You can’t just check in and check out of my life; I’m not a hotel!

DAVID
That’s not what I’m trying—

(ZONA crosses to BRYANNE, putting a protective arm around her shaking shoulders. NATHAN follows, interrupting DAVID)

NATHAN
—It’d probably be best if you left now, David.

DAVID
But I—

ZONA
—You better not even be tryin’ to work up the gall to ask to stay with us!

DAVID
I wasn’t! I already have a room at a hotel in Lubbock. I just wanna talk to my daughter!

ZONA
That’s somethin’ you should have been doin’ for a long time now. It’s not our fault that you’re just steppin’ up to it.

DAVID
Not your fault?! Maybe if you’d have let me take her after her mother died, I could’ve been doing just that.

BRYANNE
Don’t you talk to her like that! They just did what Mom wanted. Besides, you were too drunk at the time to even notice she was dead!

DAVID
That’s not how— Maybe if someone had called me when it—

BRYANNE
I did call you. Several times. Finally the cops had to track you down and give you the news because you were holed out in some bar, too wasted to understand what they were telling you. Just like the guy who hit mom’s car.

DAVID
I am nothing like that guy! I never drive after I’ve been drinkin’.

BRYANNE
You used to drive the suburban with one hand on the wheel and a beer in the other. What do you call that?!

DAVID
I never hit anyone. How can ya even compare me to that guy? I would never hit someone and then drive away. I’m not—

NATHAN
(stepping between DAVID and BRYANNE)
—That’s enough. I won’t have this here.

DAVID
(starts to argue, but stops himself, seeing all the angry faces turned on him)
Fine. But this don’t mean that I’m not stickin’ around. I will be at your weddin’, Bryanne. I promise.

BRYANNE
You’ve made lots of promises in the past, most of which you never even came close to keeping. Your promises are no good here. You—

ZONA
—Bryanne, calm down.
(to DAVID)
And you. Why don’t you leave, before you make a bigger scene than you already have.

DAVID
All right, I’ll go. But I will be at your weddin’. That’s a promise I mean to keep.

(He exits)

ZONA
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, Ethel. We’re not gonna let him anywhere near your weddin’.

BRYANNE
Mammaw, you know him. If you try to keep him away, he’ll just pitch an even bigger fit than he already has. It doesn’t matter; he’s not going to show. He never does. If he wants to try and play the doting father, let him. I don’t care. He’ll be long gone by tomorrow.

ZONA
And what ‘bout that boy of yours?

BRYANNE
What about him?

ZONA
Well, he is the one who started all this. What’re you gonna do about that?

BRYANNE
At the moment, nothing. Tomorrow we can have a big, splendid, day-before-the-wedding fight. Then he’ll apologize, and I’ll graciously forgive him, after quite a bit of groveling on his part. He meant well. His good intentions just didn’t produce very good results. It’ll be fine, I promise.

NATHAN
‘Course it will. We didn’t raise you to just give up when things got hard. Now Mammaw, how’s ‘bout we get this party wrapped up so all the young people can go about their own festivities.

ZONA
You girls aren’t going to do anything too wild, right? I promised Wrenn’s mother that I’d make sure the bachelorette party was 17-year-old friendly. You’re not gonna make me regret my promise, are ya?

BRYANNE
Well, Mammaw, I don’t exactly know all the details since Katie, Kim, and Evie decided to make it a surprise party, but they did promise that we wouldn’t go anywhere Wrenn shouldn’t be. Don’t worry, we’ll keep it strictly PG…maybe PG-13.

ZONA
You watch it! Or I will follow y’all and make sure you’re not getting’ into too much trouble.

NATHAN
No ya don’t, Mammaw. You’re going to leave those girls alone to have their fun. Bryanne’d never do anything we’d really disapprove of. Now come on. We’ve gotta get this place cleared out. You girls have a fun time.

BRYANNE
Thanks, Pa.

(The GUESTS begin clearing the stage, some moving the tables and chairs off as the go until only the gazebo and deck are left. The rest of the bridal party approach BRYANNE, all looking very sly and holding back giggles. Before they reach her, IAN crosses to her)

IAN
I think we should talk before we all go our separate ways.

BRYANNE
Really? That’s interesting. I would’ve thought a good time to talk would’ve been before you invited my father to my wedding without asking me.

IAN
Bry, please, I’m really sorry about it. I just…I knew what you’d say if I did tell you, but, I think, deep down, you would’ve been really sad if you didn’t even give him the chance to—

BRYANNE
—Ian, I don’t wanna talk about this right now. I just want to go off with my friends and have a fun bachelorette party. We can talk about this in the morning.

IAN
But Bry, I think we need—

BRYANNE
—No! You really don’t want to press this. We can talk about it tomorrow. You go off with Jeff and all your buddies and have fun while I let the girls carry out whatever deliciously wicked things they have planed for my party. And maybe tomorrow I’ll have cooled down enough to refrain from trying to call off the wedding. All right? All right. See you in morning, baby.
(Kisses him briefly before crossing to the girls, all exiting in a chorus of giggles, squeals, exclamations, etc. IAN sighs and then exits as well. Lights fade)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Scene 2
(Lights come up on a dimly lit restaurant/lounge with a small karaoke stage off to one side, a bar on the other. BRYANNE and the rest of the bachelorette party sit at a group of tables scattered with drinks, a half-demolished cake, and a condom tiara that sits atop BRYANNE’S head. Everyone is now in more “party” appropriate clothes, laughing, and generally having a good time.
After a few moments DAVID enters the restaurant on the bar side, sitting down at a table a good distance away from the bachelorette party while occasionally sneaking glances at the bar. After a few beats, BRYANNE notices him and snatches off the tiara, then she excuses herself and walks over to his table)

BRYANNE
What are you doing here?

DAVID
I come here all the time!
(BRYANNE shakes her head and starts to walk away. DAVID grabs her arm to stop her)
All right, stupid joke, I get it. I’m…just here to chaperone.

BRYANNE
Chaperone? Yeah, because you’re really qualified for that.

DAVID
What’s with all the sarcasm? I know I didn’t raise you to speak to people like that.

BRYANNE
You didn’t raise me at all. And you should count yourself lucky that all I’m giving you is sarcasm. Now, why don’t you go away and leave me in peace? You’re usually so good at that.

DAVID
Bubba, I’m just here to make sure nothin’ happens to you girls. I’m tryin’ to protect you.

BRYANNE
Too little, too late. And stop calling me by that ridiculous nickname. I hate it. I’ve always hated it.

DAVID
Ya loved it when you were little.

BRYANNE
No, I was just too young to understand it then. Please, just leave! I’m trying to have a fun party with my friends and your being here is ruining it. Why are you here?

DAVID
I’m just trying to make sure my girls don’t get into trouble. I know this isn’t really a bar, but they do serve alcohol and Wrenn…well—

BRYANNE
—Well nothing. She’s not drinking. I’m making sure of that.

DAVID
Oh really?
(Points back to the tables and the girls are sitting at. WRENN is taking a drink from KIM’s glass. BRYANNE sighs in frustration, before walking closer to the girls)

BRYANNE
(half-shouting to be heard across the distance)
Kim! Do not give her alcohol!
(pointing at WRENN)
And you! No more of that!
(turning back to DAVID)
I have everything under control. She’s just trying Kim’s drink, a very watered down Cosmo at that. … Why am I defending myself to you? It’s not like you’ve never given your underage daughter alcohol before.

DAVID
What?! I have not given her alcohol.

BRYANNE
Right. And you never got kicks out’ve goading me into trying beer at the age of 8 and laughing when I spewed beer foam all over my favorite shirt and nearly threw up from the taste. Or how you never put chewing tobacco in my mouth while I was asleep just for laughs. Or—

DAVID
—Enough! I get the point. I wasn’t the best father then.

BRYANNE
Then? As opposed to what a great father you are now?
(scoffs)
Why are you here?

DAVID
I’m here to look out for my girls. Isn’t that what father’s who love their daughters are supposed to do?

BRYANNE
Oh please! You don’t…to you love is like baseball cards: when a new, shinier one comes along, you trade in your old ones for it.

DAVID
How can you say that? I love you, both of you. You two are all the family I have left.

BRYANNE
And who’s fault is that?

DAVID
What’s that supposed to mean?

BRYANNE
It means that you had a great family and you threw it away…for a nice woman, I’ll admit. Stacy is very nice and…it really wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know you were married and already had a kid. And then…then you walked out on her and Wrenn. And you—you told a six-year-old that the reason Daddy was leaving was because…he was bored.

DAVID
I didn’t mean I was bored with her. I meant—

BRYANNE
—It doesn’t matter what you meant! How could you say that to a six-year-old? To your daughter?!

DAVID
I wasn’t sayin’ it to you.

BRYANNE
Oh, but you were. Not directly, no. I’m sure it was just because I wasn’t old enough to get it, right? Two-year-olds don’t usually have the best comprehension of complex things like Daddy’s “need for freedom.” At least not compared to six-year-olds. Still…you said it. You said it to her. You said it to me. You said it. That’s all that matters.
(pauses to collect herself)
Why are you here?

DAVID
Why do you keep asking that? I’ve told you—

BRYANNE
No! You’ve fed me crap like you do every time I ask you something. You never give straight answers. Which is why I keep asking the same questions over and over again! Because the only way to get you to give a straight answer is to bully you into it. So why are you here? Why did you come to my wedding?

DAVID
Because it’s your weddin’! I wanted to see ya get married.

BRYANNE
Is it—do you want money? Look—
(She digs around in her small clutch and fishes out a few bills. She holds one out to DAVID)
—here’s a fifty. Take it and in the morning I will come to your hotel and give you another hundred if you will just leave. Take it! Go!

DAVID
(He pushes her hand away)
I don’t want money! I just want to be here for you. I know that’s hard to believe because I’ve done such a shitty job of it for most of your life, but I am serious now. I’ve changed—I’m trying to change for you. And for Wrenn.

BRYANNE
Come on! Like I haven’t heard this before. It’s not—

DAVID
—I’m serious this time! No more running around from town to town, girlfriend to girlfriend, no more borrowing money from ya, no more drinking. I know I’m a lousy father and that there is no real reason for you to trust me, but at least…I’m trying. So you can yell at me and question me all you want, but I am going to be at your weddin’ on Sunday. If you want me to go away right now, I will. But I will be there for your weddin’. I love you, Bubba. I know I’ve got a crappy way of showin’ it, but I do. I’ll see you Sunday.

(He kisses her forehead, then exits. She stands there for a moment with her eyes closed, then she goes back to her friends. Lights fade)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Scene 3
(The yard of the Pfieffer house, same night, several hours later. Lights simulating moonlight come up on the deck and yard. A window is open next to the deck. BRYANNE enters from the back door in pajamas, looking ready for bed. She heads over to the porch swing and sits with her head back against the swing as it gently rocks back and forth. After a beat, IAN comes through the back door, also in pajamas and sees BRYANNE. He sneaks up on her and playfully grabs her before sitting down next to her. She jumps in reaction, then smiles and shakes her head at him as he laughs quietly)

BRYANNE
Yeah, real funny, mister. Do you wanna give your fiancée a heart attack two days before the wedding?

IAN
One day.

BRYANNE
Huh?

IAN
It’s way after midnight, honey. That means there’s only one more day ‘till our wedding.

BRYANNE
Hmm, that’s right. There is only one more day. So…I know what I’m still doing up, but why aren’t you asleep?

IAN
I was waiting for you guys to get home.

BRYANNE
Why exactly?

IAN
Just to make sure you all made it home okay.

BRYANNE
Really? Wasn’t to see if I’d maybe…oh, I don’t know, run into my dad while we were out?

IAN
What? You’re not serious. … You are serious?

BRYANNE
As a heart attack. Now I wonder, who could’ve told him where we were going? Hmm…

IAN
What? I didn’t tell him anything. Besides, I didn’t know where they were taking you. Remember? I wanted to know, but not even blabber-mouth Wrenn would tell me.

BRYANNE
Oh…yeah. Then, how’d he find us.

IAN
I don’t know, but this time, it wasn’t me.

BRYANNE
But the first time, it was. Care to explain that now?

IAN
I thought this was supposed to wait until morning.

BRYANNE
That was when I thought I’d be exhausted after the party. But now I’m wide awake and so it would seem are you. So, spill. Why’d you do it?

IAN
I just—well, family’s really important to you. And I know that there’s a lot of history, bad history with him, but still, he’s your father. I couldn’t help but assume that you’d hate yourself for never even giving him the chance to come and finally be a part of your life.

BRYANNE
Well, you know what they say when you “assume” things…

IAN
Yes, yes, I’m an ass. I walked into that one. But when Wrenn told me how he’d stopped drinking and seemed really serious about being there for the both of you, I thought…I don’t know, that maybe it was worth a try. He just didn’t know how to get in touch with you. So I told him, a thing which I am really, really sorry for doing without telling you.

BRYANNE
(after a beat where she considers his explanation)
You better be glad you’re good at talking your way out of trouble. A lesser spin doctor would’ve lost me forever.

IAN
I am really sorry, Bry. I never meant to hurt you. You know, the invitation was really just a “Hail Mary.” I didn’t actually think he’d show up like this, or…at all, from all the stories you and Wrenn told me.

BRYANNE
I guess I’ll forgive you then. But, seriously, “Hail Mary?” Why do you always have to use some sort of sports analogy that I don’t really get, other than in the most figurative sense of the analogy.

IAN
Because I like sports and understand them. And because it’s fun to see you confused.

BRYANNE
(jokingly)
Watch it! I can still call off this wedding.

IAN
You wouldn’t.

BRYANNE
Oh really. Is that a challenge?

IAN
No, it’s a fact. You want to get married just as much as I do. You’re not going to call it off any more than I am.

BRYANNE
(serious)
Are you really sure about that?

IAN
Bry! The joke’s gone on long enough. Give it up.

BRYANNE
No, I’m…I’m not joking.

IAN
Are you saying you don’t wanna get married anymore?

BRYANNE
No! No, I do. I do wanna get married. I’m just—just scared.

IAN
Of what?

BRYANNE
Of…of ending up like…like my parents.

IAN
Do you…do you think I’m going to do to you what he did to your mom?

BRYANNE
God no! I know you would never…I’m not really worried about you being like him. I’m…

IAN
You’re worried that you’re like him? Why would you ever think that? That’s just so far from the truth, Bry.

BRYANNE
You say that, but…but you don’t know…you don’t know all the history, all the…scary facts that I know.

IAN
But you told me everything. I know all about when he left you and your mom and they got divorced. I mean, I guess I don’t really know having not gone through it, but still I know what happened.

BRYANNE
It’s not that, Ian. There’s…so much more. I didn’t really talk about it because…because I always tell myself that it’s not important, that it doesn’t affect me. But I’m really just so scared that it does. That it’s not just what he’s done that’s damaged me.

IAN
I’m sorry…I’m getting confused. What do you mean…

BRYANNE
He’s also a product of divorce. … See when David was pretty young, maybe in kindergarten, his father got injured and was in the hospital. While he was there, David’s mom, my grandmother, took David and just…left. Just abandoned her husband and her life. A few years later, she sent my grandfather divorce papers…in the mail. How do you do that to someone you loved, someone that you vowed to love, someone you had a child with?! How could she do that? … And I’ve always wondered if…if what she did affected David and made him, at least partly, what he is--

IAN
—Bry, that’s not—

BRYANNE
—I know that there’s choice and you’re not just bound to end up like your parents, but still, I’ve always wondered if, somehow, that mistreatment of the people you said you’d loved was…passed on to me, like an inheritance, like a genetic defect. I wonder if someday I’m going to get restless and bored and just decide that I don’t wanna be married anymore, that I don’t love you like I used to, that I should just start over. That I’ll decide that this isn’t enough. I am…so scared of that, of hurting you like they’ve hurt the people they loved. I don’t want that happen. I don’t want—

IAN
—Shh. You’re not like that. You’re not like him. You’re…you’re you. You’re different. Just because his parents got divorced and then he and your mom got divorced doesn’t mean you’re fated to end up the same way. If you’re like either of your parents, you’re like your mom. You love like she did. Look at how you are with Wrenn. You protect her, even now, especially from David. You’re not gonna end up like him. We’re not gonna end up like him. Why? Because we know better. Because we love better.
(he kisses her)
We’re gonna get married in one more day. And we’re gonna be happy and in love for the rest of our lives. I promise you, neither one of us is anything like him. … Now, it is pretty late, and you have a spa appointment in the morning with the girls, and I have, well, really nothing important to do tomorrow, other than the big family dinner, but we both need our sleep. So, why don’t you head off to bed?

BRYANNE
Oh why? I’m still kinda wound up. I don’t think I could sleep.
(she starts to rise, but he grabs her and pulls her down onto his lap)

IAN
You go to bed or else Wrenn will think you’re having a little pre-wedding fun with me, which would set a very bad example for her, don’t you think?

BRYANNE
I’m sure that if Wrenn is still awake and has noticed that I’m gone, she’ll just think I’ve gone to the bathroom.

IAN
I don’t know, those active teenage imaginations can stir up lots of things when they’re left to their own devices. Go to bed, before she gets the wrong idea entirely.

(She kisses him, then rises and heads for the back door, stopping before opening it, looking back at him)

BRYANNE
Good night.

IAN
Good night, sweet princess.

(She exits. After a beat, he rises and exits as well. Lights fade)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Scene 4
(The interior of a spa. BRYANNE, KATIE, WRENN, EVELYN, and KIM all sit in comfortable chairs, the hair in towels, face masks slathered on their faces, cucumbers over their eyes, their feet in a bubbling foot bath, and their hands being massaged by manicurists. Tranquil music plays faintly.)

KIM
Evie, why didn’t we do this when you got married?

EVELYN
Because I don’t like you guys this much.

KIM
Evie!

BRYANNE
Please, I know it was just because you didn’t want us to look anywhere near as pretty as you did. Which is why you hired that third-rate hack to fix our hair.

EVELYN
She actually came very highly recommended.

KIM
From where? The beauty school.

EVELYN
You’re right. She was pretty amateur. Someone else was supposed to do it, but she had to back out at the last minute. Something about having her baby two days before the wedding.

KIM
The nerve of some people. Couldn’t she have waited?

EVELYN
That’s what Mom said.

KIM
So, Bry, was that your dad invading our little night of female festivities?

BRYANNE
Sadly, yes.

EVELYN
We thought it looked like him. Of course we hadn’t seen him since college, and then only a couple of times at that, but it did look like him. Wrenn wouldn’t tell us either way, not even after Kim gave her a drink of her Cosmo.

BRYANNE
Yeah, about that: Kim, what were you thinking?

KIM
What? It was just a little taste. Besides that was one of the most watered down drinks I’ve ever had in my life.

EVELYN
Unless it contained five parts vodka and one drop of cranberry and lime juice, you wouldn’t think it was strong enough.

KIM
This from the girl who likes her vodka straight and unabashedly strong.

EVELYN
Lush!

KIM
Bigger lush!

EVELYN
Lushest lush!

KATIE
Can we argue about the relative lushness of each other later? I’m trying to relax and be tranquil.

BRYANNE
I.e. sleep.

KATIE
Shut up, you!
(Throwing one of her cucumber slices at BRYANNE. After this the spa session becomes a bit less formal)
If you hadn’t been up ‘till three in the morning “talking” to your fiancé, I wouldn’t be so tired.

EVELYN
What? An illicit late night rendezvous with your intended? Bry, I’m ashamed of you. I thought you were actually going to be the one who held out until the wedding night.

BRYANNE
We were just talking last night. Stop giving Wrenn a bad impression of me. Besides I like “holding out;” it’s kinda like torturing him. Sorta fun.

WRENN
I almost wish you guys would’ve been getting at it last night. It might’ve been quieter. All your yammering kept me from falling asleep. And besides, you’re both so tense. It’s starting to drive everyone crazy.

BRYANNE
Wrenn Elizabeth! I cannot believe you just said that.

KIM
She does have a point. You are pretty tense. Maybe a little something-something might help.

BRYANNE
Not funny! I’m not tense because of that.

EVELYN
How would you know?

BRYANNE
Because David’s showing up is what’s got me tense.

EVELYN
Whatever excuse gets you through the night, babe.

BRYANNE
I can’t win. I just can’t win. There’s too many of you.

KIM
Strength in numbers, baby. Zing!

EVELYN
Oh, God, not that again.

KIM
What?! What’s that supposed to mean?

EVELYN
You’ve been trying to bring “zing” back ever since we all got here. It’s dead, Kim. It died back in college. Let it go.

KIM
But it’s still good. It’s “zing!” It’ll never die! Right, Bry?

BRYANNE
I’m afraid Evie’s right on this one, Kimmikins. “Zing” has departed from us. We must let it go. Let it find peace. Please, for all our sakes.

KIM
You people just don’t appreciate a good catch-phrase.

EVELYN
It was good? When was it good?

KIM
Oh, shut up!
(throwing both of her cucumbers at EVELYN. Soon a cucumber-throwing war escalates between the girls, causing the manicurists to evacuate in fear. After a beat, it subsides)

BRYANNE
What I wanna know is how David found out where we’d be?

KATIE
Ian didn’t tell him, did he?

BRYANNE
No, he’s not so stupid as to make the same mistake twice. Besides he didn’t know where we were going. Did any of you tell Jeff?

KIM
Why would we tell him?

EVELYN
Because he’s been hittin’ on you ever since we got here? And because he’s more than a little squirrelly.

KIM
He has not. He was just being friendly. And I do not like squirrelly guys any more.

EVELYN
Yeah, sure ya don’t. And I don’t think Scott would see it as him “just being friendly.”

KIM
For the last time, Jeff was not hitting on me. He just—

BRYANNE
Guys! He was, he wasn’t, whatever. I just wanna figure out how David knew. He couldn’t have followed us.

WRENN
I…I might’ve let it slip before we left.

BRYANNE
What?! But—but why?

WRENN
You know how bad I am at keeping secrets. Be glad I didn’t tell you. He just asked. I was guessing it was so he would know you guys weren’t taking me somewhere really bad.
Besides, I was surprised. He seemed so…concerned. It just kinda slipped out. I’m sorry, Sissy.

BRYANNE
Oh…I guess I’ll forgive you. I forgave Ian for worse. Just as long as he doesn’t know where we’re going today so he can’t come bother me again.
(WRENN starts to say something, then stops, looking nervous)
Wrenn, you didn’t tell him where we were going today did you?

WRENN
Not…exactly.

BRYANNE
(quiet and slightly dangerous)
What is that supposed mean?

WRENN
I didn’t tell him we’d be here.

BRYANNE
But…

WRENN
(rapidly)
I might’ve told him that you were going to pick up your dress today.

BRYANNE
Wrenn! Did you tell him where exactly?

WRENN
Yeah.

BRYANNE
I do not need this, not today!

WRENN
I think he’s really serious this time, Bry. He actually joined AA, he’s been going to meetings. I tagged along the last time I visited. He seems…he seems like he means it. Isn’t that a good thing?

BRYANNE
You’re young. You have the luxury of hope and optimism.

WRENN
I’m not too young to know that that wasn’t somehow an attack on my intelligence.

BRYANNE
I’m—I’m sorry, Sis. I just don’t wanna have to deal with him and his excuses today. I just wanted a nice, relaxing day at the spa and then picking up my dress, and the big family dinner—Wait, did you tell him about the dinner?

WRENN
Oh…um…I—I—I

BRYANNE
You did! You told him. Mammaw will kill him if he shows up.

WRENN
No she won’t. Pa Nate won’t let her. He doesn’t want to have to visit her in jail.

BRYANNE
Not really the time for jokes, hun.

WRENN
He probably won’t show up for it. He knows almost everyone there would…like to hurt him.

BRYANNE
That hasn’t stopped him before.

WRENN
I’m sorry. He’s just…it’s really hard to say no to him. You know how it is.

BRYANNE
Yeah, sadly I do. Maybe if he shows up at the bridal shop I can convince him to stay away from the family dinner. Not that he listens very well, but maybe, just maybe he will this time. It’s all right, Wrenn. I forgive you…again. I thought weddings were supposed to be about the bride going all crazy and pissing people off right and left.

EVELYN
You mean the “Bridezilla” myth? It doesn’t happen as often as you think. At least, it didn’t with me.
(the rest of the girls start to laugh)
What? It didn’t.

BRYANNE
Whatever gets you through the night, babe.

(They go back to their more serene poses as the manicurists reenter the room, accompanied by other various spa workers. Lights fade as they relax again, sans cucumbers)
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