Serenity

Dear God,
Grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the
things I can;
and wisdom to
know the difference...

         I've always found this prayer comforting in a time of need. It speaks to me internally, almost automatically, when problems arise...
         My mother found out last year, around June, she had breast cancer; she was 64. I for the life of me could not figure out why she just told us six months ago, in December; I turned to this prayer...to find the light of hope. She was not well and very cranky, as anybody would be, going through such a trial. Working ten hours a day doesn't help when all you can think about is: there's no-one around to help her, who's going to help her? I said this prayer out loud...
         My brother got laid off from work about two weeks after she told us in December and was able to take my mother to her appointments and check on her while I was at work so that she wasn't alone. My sister lost her job another week later, right before Christmas and also helped Mom out while she was looking for a job...I thought: Wow, Lord, my family really needs some help here; I turned to this prayer...like rebuilding a bridge, I sat down to make plans...
         What plans did I make? I couldn't make any, really, because I didn't have any real concrete ideas. It was like watching us slowly fall apart. I finally decided that we as a family could handle anything; we are strong like that. Though my brother and sister were both out of work, I wasn't, so I shared my paycheck with them!
         January, my mother had to go for her first chemotherapy appointment. She was nervous but she did ok. She didn't eat much and slept a lot. We begin to worry. After two weeks of going through chemo, she began to notice the worried looks on our faces and simply said, "don't be said, kids, I'm ok." I went home that night and cried.
         February, she looked and sounded a lot better. I could see the light at the end of tunnel, almost. She still had sick moments but nonetheless, she assured us that she was ok. Some days were better than others she said; at night I held her hand, watched her fall asleep and said the serenity prayer...
         March, she was off to the races! Her doctors said they couldn't believe her speedy recovery and how well she came through. They told her, thank God for children that care. My Mom said she cried, when her doctor told her that. She was back to her ole' self again; laughing, moving and playing with the grand-kids! Serenity sure did help us get through...
         April, my Mom goes to the doctor and they find another small lump around the area of where she had her surgery...devastation crosses all of our faces but Mom never gets upset. She says, "it's ok kids, this is nothing. We have to find serenity, together..."turns out the lump is nothing and is not cancerous; we did find our serenity together...
         May, it's like the cancer never existed; my Mom is happy, still not worried and has a few more appointments to go to. My brother and sister are back to work; I still work ten-hour days but it's not as stressful. Serenity saw us through...
         Now, it's almost June again and I am grateful! Sometimes, I get angry with my Mom for saying things that I don't want to hear. To me, she's just being completely out of control! But, when I think about this past year and going down the road of having to deal with breast cancer; My Mom can be as obnoxious as she wants to be; I’ll just say the Serenity Prayer and move on...