Inspired by Bob Seger's lyrics, my version of striving against life circumstances |
Against the Wind Choices pile on choices as I stand toes over the edge. Leaning into the wind, arms outstretched, feeling the power yet knowing its denial of what I desire, what I dream, what I strain to hold onto A Memory Etched within my mind is a dream, recurrent, so real, I grapple with its impossibility. I’m very young and I slip outside, alone, eager to attempt what itches in my arms and legs. The wind is rushing round the corner of my house, a narrow hallway between high piney hedges. I stand, motionless, eyes closed. Picture what must be, hold my hands outstretched to feel the gale of air pressing, pushing me back, trying to discover me. The wind pushes into my mind, plays with my hair, caresses my baby soft skin. I balance on one foot, like a swan, stretching my leg behind me. Streaming, enfolding wind grows in force. Deep breath, let the wind capture my other leg as well. Pressed against the wind, howling with glee, I hover, held in place by the force of gravity, challenging the force of a god’s breath. Trapped Unable to move, yet past choices press from behind and before. Hurry, hurry, act, reach, demand. Do it. Grab, stretch until it is within your hands. Hands over ears, I shut out the howling wind. Slammed Hurricane hurls me back. Listen. Where in this maelstrom is the still small voice? I beg quiet. How can I hear? How can I choose? What can I know when I am tossed back like a small, empty sack twirling through the air, without substance, without my own form, shaped by the wind that grabs and twists and presses me into a semblance of life that resembles death. God’s Breath I hold my own. I will not inhale until I feel the wind’s exhale blowing upon me. I will not push against, frustrated, unable to turn, unable to choose. I will not set myself against the Wind. I will fly with Him instead. © EAW June 8, 2006 |