Jessica"s Haunting-rewrite chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jessie was busy this morning. She had a customer at the window and two lines on hold. The insurance adjuster on the phone was being long-winded. Some days she really hated being the manager at this tow company. She should be concentrating on what the man was saying but Mike’s voice on the radio caught her attention.
"Jessie, I've got an emergency.” His voice came off cracking like he was a teenager going through his voice change.
"Sir, can you hold on a moment?” Jessie didn’t wait for the response from him. She hung the phone up, and picked up the microphone for the two way radio. "Five- five go ahead."

"Jessie, call the police. A tractor trailer just rolled over on top of a bus full of kids." Her heart jumped up into her throat. She had dealt with emergencies before, but this time kids were involved.
"What's your ten-twenty, where are you?" Her voice stayed steady.
"Chapman and Flower. North east corner” His voice came off a little steadier this time.
"Any injuries?"
"I can't tell, but the trailer is up in the air about fifty feet"
"Ten four." Jessie picked up the phone and dialed the police dispatch line. While waiting for the answer she called to Alicia in the back office to come up and help. Those poor kids she said a quick prayer that God would watch over them and keep them safe. "Hi, this is Jessie at James and Son's Towing,. At Chapman and Flower a tractor trailer has rolled over on top of a bus full of kids. My driver can't tell if there are any injuries."
"Do you have a big rig available? “ Asked the police dispatch. “You’re on top for rotation." How did police dispatchers manage to stay so detached?

Jessie’s voice came out in spurts because try as she might she couldn’t catch her breath. She had such a bad feeling about this. "I can have him there in a couple of minutes."

Hanging up the phone she ran to the driver’s room. Howard sat at the drivers’ desk filling out his logbook; he was a man who stood out in a crowd. He had Jet-black hair with smoky grey eyes that turned silver when he was angry. He stood well over six feet, which was noticeable when Jessie stood next to him with her 5'5" height. Jessie was proud of Howard, he was the love of her life, and the best recovery driver she had. He was her world. "Howie, I've got a big rig police tow, the truck is on top of a bus full of kids."
Howard went running towards his truck. "Where's it at?"
"Chapman and Flower. Be careful." She just couldn’t shake this feeling of doom. She said another prayer for the kids.
"I will." Howard always left his truck running, so he had it in the street before she got back to her office. Walking back in she noticed Mr. James, the owner of the company, was sitting at her desk finishing up the calls she had been taking.

Mr. James was old enough to be Jessie’s father; in fact over the past four years he had become a father to Howard and her. He was the one you went to if you needed someone to listen, then offer advice if you asked for it. He was very attractive, his lack of hair on his head just added to his presence. Mr. James really cared about his employee’s, making sure they had company picnics and beach parties a few times a year.

Mr. James looked at Jessie, "I think you need a break, why don't you go pick up lunch."

“I’m really worried about this accident, I hope none of the kids were hurt.” Jessie’s eyes never wavered from the radio base station; she was almost in a trance trying to see the scene of the accident, willing every child to be safe.

Mr. James shook his head at her, everyone knew Jessie was a softy. He got her mind off of it by giving her something else to do. “Howard will let us know. We’ve done our job help is on the way. You’re starting to loose too much weight. Go get lunch.”
Jessie smiled. "Sounds good to me. So what shall it be today? Hamburgers? Sandwiches?" Alicia called out just before she picked up the phone. “I think we need something healthy. I could really go for a ham & cheese on white.”
“Mr. James?”
“Turkey on rye”
“Okay be back in a couple of minutes.

Jessie headed out to her Toyota. She looked down and noticed her hands shaking. That was okay with her, she kept her calm when it was needed. It was okay if she reacted now no one could see it. .She stopped for a minute and then walked back into office. "I'm going to take the hand-held with me just in case you have any questions." Alicia had only been with the company for three weeks. It was only right that she should be able to reach Jessie if any problems came up.Alicia smiled her thanks and Jessie walked back out the door.

On her way to the sandwich shop Jessie started to think about the changes Howard wanted to make in her life. It had been two years since she agreed to move in with him. This morning he brought her breakfast in bed and asked her once again to marry him. Once again she said no, she was not ready yet. She had been left too many times, she wanted to trust Howard to stay but she just couldn’t. A strange voice from the handheld interrupted her thoughts.

"This is the Orange Police Department. You've got a driver down. We have paramedics on the way." Jessie saw a flash before her eyes. She knew, but she had to ask. Picking up the hand-held. “Alicia, get Mr. James. What's the ten-twenty of the driver down?"
The voice that came on the air next was Mike. "Jessie, you'd better get out here, Howie is hurt bad."
She was glad she knew all the back streets it took her only a minute to get there. “Alicia get another class A driver out here to take over the recovery and truck, have Mr. James bring him out"
"Jessie who else has a Class A?"
She could hear the panic in Alicia's voice and as she fought to keep her own calm she said. "Alicia have Danny come out, he has a Class A. Get whatever driver is in the drivers’ room to come in and help you with the phones and radio." Jessie knew her voice was high pitched and demanding but the fear had already taken over her body.
"Okay Jessie. I hope Howie is okay." Alicia’s voice was full of concern.
"Just keep your head, Alicia, I need you to handle things there."
"Okay."

As Jessie pulled up to the accident, she saw Howard's body lying on the ground in an unnatural position. She was shaking and her hand fumbled with her door latch as she tried to open it. Once she managed the latch she ran to him. "Howie, I'm here. You’re going to be okay." As she looked at him she saw the blood coming from his ears. His clothes were torn and the bones in his legs were protruding out.

She looked up at the trailer, brushing her brown hair from her eyes. It was a long way up there. She knew he had fallen from the top. She tried to fight the tears welling up in her eyes. She was Jessica, she was strong she could handle this and help him get better. She had such a hard time looking at his fallen broken body. This was not the man she had made love to this morning.

She knelt down next to him, and started to wipe his hair from his eyes. Looking down at her shaking hands she realized they were covered in blood. She knew not to move him in any way but the temptation to cradle his head in her lap was almost over powering. She placed her hand on his chest his breathing was shallow, but at least he was breathing.

Mike walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "He hasn't moved or talked yet."

Jessie being as stubborn as usual practically screamed at him "He's breathing, he'll be okay." They could hear the Sirens getting closer.
"Howard Diamond I love you, wake up and talk to me." Her voice was shaky. She hardly recognized it as her own. She could feel herself being pulled away from his body. Mr. James showed up beside her, his brown eyes had seen a lot in their days and the knowledge they held was apparent to all that looked into them. What she saw in them at this moment scared the living daylights out of her.

"Let the paramedics do their job Jessie.” He looked towards Mike. “What happened here?"

Jessie looked around at the bus and the kids. Thank God the police had moved the kids out of sight from Howard. It was hard to think over the crying and screaming of the children. Torn between Howard and rushing to clam the children, she looked back down at Howard, The police could take care of the kids He needed her more. Jessie started to feel like she was being taken from her body and watching this from afar. She felt herself getting dizzy.

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Mike started to reply to Mr. James but he noticed all the color leaving Jessie's face, and he reached her just as she started to pass out. Mr. James reached for her also. "Jessie, you’re too strong a woman to pass out now. If you want to go with Howard you’re going to have to be strong." Jessie seemed to get some of her color back. Mike watched as her back straightened. The paramedics came over and asked if someone was going to ride with them.

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"Mr. James, I have to be with him
He looked at Jessie, "Go I'll be at the hospital as soon as I find out what happened here, I'll have a driver take your car to the hospital."
She hugged Mr. James and headed for the Ambulance. Watching as they loaded Howard in she wanted to cry. He was on a backboard, had a cervical collar, IVs and splints on his legs, and was strapped down. She felt herself being pushed to the front seat of the ambulance. Jessie wanted to be in the back with Howard. She wanted to see what was going on. Was he still alive? She looked at her hands; the bloodstains were there. He had looked so broken when he was lying on the ground.

The drive wasn't too far. When they arrived everything became mass chaos. The paramedics were telling the doctors his vitals and condition, the nurses were asking Jessie for Howard’s medical history. They pushed Howard into a room and a nurse took Jessie to a waiting room.

She looked down and became nauseous. She was covered in his blood. Another couple was sitting there looking at her with pity. The amount of blood she was covered in was alarming. Jessie looked around for a restroom to get cleaned up. She must have really looked lost as one of the volunteers came up to her and offered her assistance. The volunteer brought her a pair of hospital scrubs to put on. The blood stained clothes were ruined. She never wanted to see them again. She couldn’t help but wonder how many sets of bloody clothes had been through this trash can. She walked back into the waiting room and found she was alone this time. Sitting down she dropped her face into her hands.

She tried to stay focused on Howard, and she found herself reliving the last four years. Howard had been a new driver. He was so nice to her from the start, because he thought he could get better calls. He offered to bring her lunch, would stay over at night if there were too many calls for her to leave. He brought her candy and soda’s. He even took her to dinner on Friday nights.

It did not take him long to figure out that wasn’t how Jessie dispatched. She taught him quickly that you got the good calls along with the bad. He was a good friend to her before either one of them knew it. and before she knew it they were dating. To this day she didn’t know how, but he had managed to slip in under her radar.

The way Howard treated her was new to Jessie. The long walks on the beach, and watching the sunsets. Howard always made Jessie feel special. He was such a kind-hearted man she was in love before she knew it. After Jessie refused Howard’s proposal, they decided to live together. She couldn’t imagine living without Howard in her life. She started praying over and over for Howard to live.
Mr. James interrupted her prayer when he walked in with Mike. "Jessie have you heard anything yet?"
"No" she couldn’t seem to focus on Mr. James.
"Sweetheart, do you need anything at all?"
"I just want to see Howard." She tried to keep the tears out of her voice, but lost miserably. Mr. James placed his hand on her shoulder. “Jessie, the rest of the drivers are outside the door, they want to know if it’s okay to come in."
"Let them in. I'm just sorry I don't have any news."

Mike walked to the door and motioned them in. All but one of her drivers was there. Sammy had been sent to Big Bear. It had been Howard’s call, but he passed it to the other driver because he needed to change the oil in his truck. She wanted to scream that it wasn’t fair. She wanted to hit something.

Jeff, who had spent a lot of time with Jessie and Howard, was the first to speak. "Jessie if you need anything at all just ask. We'll all keep our pagers on, just page us." He kneeled down in front of her and took her hands into his.

Jessie took a good look at Jeff, his green eyes stood out at her as if they could see right through her. He’d been a close friend for seven years now, and he was the one that told her about the job.
"Have you eaten anything?"
"I'm not hungry." Pulling her hands out of Jeff’s she stood up and walked to face out the window.
"You have to keep your strength up for Howie."
"I'll eat something as soon as I know something." Jessie turned and looked straight at Mike when she asked the next question. "What happened out there? How did he fall?"

She watched as Mike shot a glace at Mr. James. With a slight nod from his boss he answered. "Howard was trying to get the trailer off the bus. There were kids still stuck in there. It was my fault Jessie, he asked me to take up some slack in the cable, and when I did it caught his foot. He hung there for a minute then fell. He landed straight on his head. I'm sorry Jessie." Mike broke down and was crying.
“It sounds like an accident to me." She wanted to find someone to blame, she just couldn’t.
"Jessie, I wish I hadn't been there." As Jessie hugged Mike, the Doctor walked in.
He looked at all the men and then straight towards her. "Jessie?" She turned to him,
"Yes, how's Howie? Is he going to be okay?" Her heart stopped.
"We won't know for a while. He has a lot of swelling on his brain. He's in surgery now. He's may be paralyzed if he lives. He is non- responsive right now. We need to do some test but first we need to get the bleeding stopped."
"When will we know for sure?"

It seemed the doctor could feel her pain. She felt like this man cared. "Let’s wait and see what happens in surgery." He patted Jessie on the shoulder and told her to pray. She had not stopped praying since this whole nightmare started.
"When can I see him?"
"After surgery."

As the doctor left Jeff's pager went off. He walked over to the pay phone, dropped his change in, and dialed. After a moment he came back over to her. "Jessie, I've got a call, I’ve got to go do a tow. I will come back by when I'm finished."
"Thanks Jeff, but there's not much you guys can do here, go home to your family's."
"We are family, you know that." Jeff gave her a hug and then left.

Mr. James went over and phoned the office to check on Alicia, then returned "I need to get back to the office to help Alicia. If you hear anything please have one of the drivers call me."
"I will."
"Jessie, don't worry about work, your job will be waiting for you when Howard is all better. I do need to give this to you. Howard gave this to me when you two moved in together. I ran back by the office to get it before I came here." He pulled out an envelope. “He said if anything ever happened I was to give this to you. He said everything you would need would be in here.”
“What is it?” Jessie pulled the papers out of the envelope.
“It’s a power of attorney. He had all the bases covered from his death to hospitalization. You have the final word regarding Howard’s care he said you would need it someday. I asked him how he knew that and he just smiled that Howie smile.” He hugged Jessie and walked away.

She couldn’t help but think about Howard again. It was a deep soul searching she was after. Why have I put Howard off each time he asked me to marry him? I love him, I trust him, and I feel as my life is over if Howard is gone. Why I have I let my past come between us. She fought back the tears she wanted to let fall. I will not break down in front of the drivers. I have been strong since my seventeenth birthday I will not break down now.

She convinced herself he would be fine, he loved her too much to leave her. She remembered him promising he would never leave her. He had said he would always be here

She could smell the salty air as she remembered back. It was a beautiful weekend he had shown up at her apartment, on his motorcycle, and they went for a ride up the coast.

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Just before sundown sitting in a secluded cove. Howard turned to her. ”Jessie, your beauty makes this sunset look like any other. I want you to be my wife. You mean so much to me. I can’t imagine my life without you. I feel like I have been searching for you my entire life. Please say yes.”
“Howard, I need to know I can take care of myself. I can’t start to explain the pain my life has held. I’m just not ready yet. I do love you. I hate to be away from you when I go home. I just can’t promise my life to you yet. I can’t imagine myself without you. How do I know you’ll never leave me?”
“Jessie, I could never leave you. I don’t know how to prove that to you. I’m not happy that you won’t say yes. What can I do to help you trust me?” Howard had been understanding almost like he had been let down in his life before too.

They had decided to live together and give her time to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage. He had promised her he wouldn't leave, and he hadn't, so he wouldn't leave now.

The second time he’d asked her they were at the beach again. They had been at a company party. After everyone had settled down to roast marshmallows, he asked her to take a walk. Once they were down by the water he had tried again.

She could still hear the words he had said to her, He’d pulled her into his arms and in his husky voice he’d said. "Jessie I love you with all my heart, I will always be here for you. I want to have children with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to watch your hair turn gray, please be my wife." He had kissed her then not a slow easy kiss but one full of hunger and need. She pulled back away from him and with tears in her eyes responded.

"Howie, I'm not ready yet. Why you pushing me? We have been doing great why do you want to shake everything up now?" She turned from him, she knew she was hurting him and couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes.
"Jessie, I want you to be my wife. I don't think that's shaking up our lives, I think it's trying to settle us down." He put his arms around her from behind. She laid her head back on his shoulder.
"Howie, please don't push."
"Okay, Jessie, but I'm only going to ask you so many times, I'll quit asking someday."
"Howie, some day I'll say yes, just not right now. I need some time okay?"
"Okay, Jessie."
She had responded with her head instead of her heart.

***************************************

Jessie was brought out of her thoughts when a nurse walked in and called her name, "Jessie?"
"Yes" She looked across the room and realized the sun had set. The room was much darker now. How could she lose track of time now?
"Howard is out of surgery, would you like to see him?"

Jessie looked at her watch and couldn't believe it was after seven o'clock. She looked up to see the drivers watching her with hopeful eyes. “I’ll tell him you are here. He will like knowing he has you rooting for him.”

She followed the nurse through the corridors. Why did all hospitals have to seem like mazes? The elevators they used said it was for patient and authorized personnel only. She thought of anything she could to calm her nerves. She straightened her shoulders and walked in.

The first sight of him brought tears to her eyes, the shock of what she saw was more then she could take. She stepped back outside the room for a moment and waited until it passed. The image of him still locked in her brain. His face was black and blue. The white bandages on his head seemed to make the colors in his face more predominant. He had an IV pumping into him. He had monitors hooked up everywhere, his head, his fingers, and his chest. He had a tube push down his throat. Both of his legs were in casts, along with his left arm.

When she had herself back under control she walked back into the room. "Howard, can you hear me?" There was no movement at all. She held his hand and prayed. Dear God don’t take him from me. She said the same prayer over and over in her mind. She told him the drivers were waiting for him to wake up. She heard the door to his room open and turned around, it was the doctor.
"How is he?" Her voice was quivering.
"Jessie, lets talk outside." Jessie put Howard’s hand down and told him she would be right back. They were standing in the corridor outside the room. The doctor placed his hand on her shoulder as he said. "Jessie, I'm sorry it doesn't look good."

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"So what if he can't walk, I'll love him anyway." She wouldn’t look into his eyes.
"The only thing keeping Howard alive are the machines he's hooked up to. He can't even breathe on his own." He hated days like this. How could he convince this lady to do the right thing.
"Look you don't know Howard like I do, he'll come back to us." She locked her eyes with his and he felt her pain so severely he wanted to protect her. That would only prolong her pain.
"That would take a miracle, we've seen a lot of miracles, but I think you are asking too much of Howard and God. There is no brain activity. He is brain dead."
"Can I go back in and sit with him?" She just needed some time.
"Of Course, does Howard have any family we could call?" He was hoping to have someone else to help her make the right choice.

No, we only have each other." He wanted to give her strength, he saw this stuff happen day in day out. He had to get through to her. "Jessie, you need to think about letting him go." She spun around to face him, her eyes were shooting daggers at him.

"You want me to pull the plug on him?" He tried to place his hand back on her shoulder, but she pulled away.
"You need to decide if you want him to be a vegetable for the rest of his life. The way he is in that bed is the best you can expect." She turned away from him and faced the door.
"How long will it take?"
"I'm not sure, but it will be painless."
“I need some time to think. I have a power of attorney, we never did get married.”
“Take your time, just let the nurse know when you decide. She’ll be able to reach me.”

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She went back in and sat beside Howard, she took his hand in hers. “Howie, I love you! I don’t know what to do? I know you told me you didn’t want to live on machines. How do I know what’s right? I can’t take away your chance at a recovery. I wish you could tell me what you want. I want to be your wife. I’m not going to get what I want. I know I need to have them turn off the machines, but I’m just not strong enough.” She suddenly heard the conversation they had.
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“Jessie, if I ever get hurt seriously enough that I have to be on machines to live, please don’t let them do it.”
“How do you know you won’t get better?”
“Jessie, they know if you have a chance or not. If I don’t have a chance, don’t let them drag it out.”
“I don’t know if I could do that.”
“It’s important to me that you can do this for me. I believe in God, I believe I can have a better life with him. Don’t take that away from me.”
“I promise, I won’t let them keep you alive, if there is no chance.”
“Do it quickly, don’t drag it out. As soon as you know, you have them take me off.”

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Looking at him and all the machines, now was the time to be strong. She had to follow his last wishes. She kissed his cheek and told him. “I won’t break my promise. But I’m not sure I’m strong enough.”

She pushed the button to call the nurse. She stood up and kissed Howie. When the nurse came in Jessie asked her to get the doctor. She twisted the ring on her finger, watching his face the entire time she waited. The doctor. walked in, she looked deep in his eyes, she saw kindness. He wouldn’t ask this of her unless there was no hope.

"Go ahead and take him off the machines." Her voice was unsteady. The sharp knife that seemed to be twisting in her heart just managed to go deeper.
"I'll need you to sign a release." Jessie nodded her head and followed the doctor out of the room.

Jessie signed the form the doctor gave her. He looked over her paperwork and made copies. Jessie walked out to the waiting room and told the drivers what was going to happen. The each took their turn to say goodbye.

Jeff was the last one. She saw the tears in his eyes. She felt his pain. Selfish or not when he asked. “Would you like me to stay in the room with you?” She had to answer.
“No, I want to be alone with him.”

The doctor entered the room and asked if she was ready and then took Howie off the machines. She was left alone with him. She didn't hold the tears back she let them fall.
"Howie, I'm scared. You promised me you would never leave me. You can't leave me! I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you. Howie, open your eyes and look at me, ask me to marry you! I promise I won't say no."

Jessie bent over to kiss him, she noticed tears running out of Howard’s eyes. She knew he could hear her. He was still with her, it wasn't an empty body, and Howard was still here. "Howie you know I'm with you, you can hear me." Jessie was watching his face, his eyes were closed but there was movement behind his eyelids. "Howie, I love you, wake up and ask me to marry you. I want to be your wife, don't leave me."

Howard’s eyes opened, he looked at her. "Jessie, I love you, but I can't marry you, I'm dying."
“No you’re not I made a mistake. They need to hook you back up.” She pushed the button repeatedly praying someone would come in. "Howie, I will never forgive you if you die."

"Jessie, my time is up here, it's a beautiful place that is waiting for me. I can't go unless you let me. You’ve done the right thing. This is your miracle. We get to say goodbye.

"I'll never let you go."

"Jessie there's someone special waiting for you, I'm not the right one. Jessie please let me go. Know that I loved you but I want you to be happy now, Follow your heart instead of your head. Don’t let me down."
Jessie released his hand and the monitor went flat line, she cried. "I won't forgive you Howard, ever."

Nurses and Doctors came running in from everywhere, she stepped outside the room and waited for the news she was sure would come. A few minutes they came out and told her Howie was gone. She found her way back to the waiting room. Jeff, and Mike were there. She rushed into Jeff's arms,
"He’s gone, God help me he's gone."

Mike was crying also, he looked at Jessie, "Let me drive you home."
"No, I just want to be alone for awhile. Can you call Mr. James and the others?"
"Sure Jessie, call me if you need anything okay?" Mike walked towards the phone and Jessie looked away. "Yeah."
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Jeff let go of Jessie he saw the pain in her eyes, he was so afraid of what might happen next. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Can you bring Howie back?”
“No.” Jeff wasn’t so sure he could help her this time. Why was fate so cruel?
“Then there’s nothing you can do. Go home to Karol.” He wasn’t afraid to admit he was scared for her. He’d been through this with her before. He was the only one who knew the truth about why she couldn’t commit. He wasn’t even sure she knew. Now was the time she would push him away. If she remembered now of all times it would kill her.
“Jeff, I’m sorry. Thank you for everything.” He smiled at her as she walked away. He wouldn’t stay to far away, he had to protect her from herself.

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She was walking through the hallway and turned before she should have, she ended up in the Hospital Chapel. She sat down on one of the pews and cried. The tears were streaming down her face, she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she looked up she saw Howard standing there, as quick as she had seem him, he was gone.
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Howard knew she had seen him, why couldn’t she see him now. He hadn’t broken his promise he was here standing beside her. His hand was on her shoulder. He knew she could feel him. Why couldn’t she hear the words he was trying to tell her? “Jessie I love you, I’m right here, I won’t leave you. He watched as she got up and walked away. He knew Jessica and how desperate she could become he had to follow.