Chased Through The Woods

Chased Through The Woods!

(Belle, Little Red Riding Hood and Snow White all run to center stage and bump into each other.)

Belle: Oh my goodness!
Snow White: Oh boy!
Little Red: Huh!? Who on earth are you!? (The girls look at each other questioningly.)
Belle: Oh…my name is Belle.
Snow: Um…I'm Snow White. Who are you?
Red: I'm Little Red Riding Hood, of course!
Belle: Oh…so…what brings you into the woods today?
Snow: Oh, you know, the usual. Slave girl, prettier than Queen, banished to the forest, attacked by wild animals. Basic stuff. It RUINED my hairstyle though!
Belle: Oh…that's…awful? What about you, Little Red Riding Hood-?
Snow: Little Red is in da hood!
Red: NEVER say that again…
Snow: Oh…okay…
Red: Well, my mom made me take some treats to Granny's house-
Belle: Oh, how is she?
Red: Oh, old, senile, crazy-
Belle: No, you're mother!
Red: Old, senile, crazy.
Belle: Ah.
Red: Anyway, I'm on my way and I met a wolf. He asked me a bunch of really dumb questions, then ROAR! He ran after me! So, I kept running to Granny's house, and then I ran into YOU TWO! So, why are you here?
Belle: Oh, I was looking for my dad…and I got chased by wolves!
Snow: Oh, not you too!
Belle: Yup. But my wolves don't talk.

(The girls sit down on a log. There is an awkward silence.)

Snow: Hey, Little Red, I love-
Red: Full name please!
Snow: -Your cloaky, hoody thing. It's very Ralph Lauren.
Red: Um…thanks?
Snow: Oh, and Beauty-
Belle: Belle.
Snow: I love your dress - it's so Channel!
Belle: Thanks…I love your…bow thing? It's so…Herbal Essenses?

(Snow White looks offended.)

Belle: Fructis? Pantene? Loreal Kids!?
Snow: It's Disney.
Belle: Oh.
Snow: I wish my fairy godmother was here.
Belle: Wait, isn't that Cinderella's story?
Snow: Well yeah, but she and I like THIS. (She crosses her fingers to show that they are best friends.)
Red: You're kidding.
Snow: Oh, yeah! We have lots in common!
Red: Like what?
Snow: Well, the whole evil-stepmother-making-us-do-all-of-the-chores thing. Like THIS! (She crosses her fingers again.)
Belle: Well, I'd better get going. I have to go find my papa…who knows, he might be locked up by some beast right now!
Snow: Yeah, and I have to go into hiding. Don't really know why…that guy did however, tell me to watch out for fruit baskets…
(She looks nervously at Little Red Riding Hood's basket.)
Red: Hey! Bread basket - BREAD BASKET!
Belle: Don't you have something to do?
Red: Oh yeah…the whole Granny thing. Biscuit?
Snow: No thanks, I'm watching my figure.
Belle: Yeah…I'll pass. You save those for Granny.
Red: As if!
Belle: Okay, on the count of three: one, two, THREE!

(The girls all scream comically and run off into the distance.)