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"Thoughts lead on to purposes; Purposes go forth in action; Actions form habits; Habits decide character; and Character fixes our destiny." Tyron Edwards (1809-1894) US Clergyman The Three Muses Parents sometimes cling so tightly to the ideal of parenthood, and perfect children, that we sometimes forget how beautiful and unique our children really are. CAST: Ms. Martyr (MM), SuperMom (SM), Lil’ Mom (LM) MM: Oh I feel so bad about this. I wish it never happened. I, I don’t think I’m gonna get through this. SM: Of course you will, you're a martyr, bad feelings come with the job. MM: No, this is more than even I can endure. She was my baby, my precious daughter, and I failed her. SM: Huh, you failed her? Didn’t she make her own choices? MM: Yes, but I’m her mother. I should have anticipated what she was going to do, and kept her from doing it. SM: So, you knew she what she was going to do? MM: No, but. SM; And you was you supposed to stop her? MM: Yes. SM: How? MM: Well, I mean, look at the way she dresses, and she listens to hip-hop. She loves hip-hop. SM: And (said impatiently)? MM: And, I should have tried harder. (MM’s voice trails off and she hangs her head) SM: Listen, don’t worry about it. (SM pats MM on the back) You couldn’t have kept things from turning out the way they did. Martyrs don't have that kind of power, I’m still the aggressor here. Before you came, it was my job to control events and their outcomes. Now, that you’re here I guess all you’re supposed to do is sacrifice and be miserable. MM: Hey look, I didn’t ask to be here. SM: I know. When our host was raising her boys, it was enough to be a supermom. You know, cleaning, cooking and stuff like that. But after her daughter was born, that wasn’t enough. I guess she thought she needed you. MM: It is different raising a girl. SM: Yeah, but. MM: Okay, but what did you mean when you said I wasn’t supposed to stop things from turning out the way they did? SM: Hello, sacrifice, being miserable. When has that ever gotten anything done? No girlfriend, you ain’t the warrior, I am. I make it happen. MM: And? SM: Well, uh I er, okay, I dropped the ball on this one. I tried, but I couldn’t control things. She’s a girl and girls, well, they’re stubborn. MM: And so self-centered. SM: Yeah, so I couldn’t manipulate her the way I did the boys. MM: She ended up manipulating you! (MM smiles widely, feeling a little better about the situation.) SM: She used you too! All that buying her stuff didn’t work either, so you need to shut up! Over in the corner a young woman has been standing listening quietly. Clearly and confidently she said to them: LM: Ladies. SM and MM turn and face the young woman. SM looks at her as if she’s trying to place her. MM looks at her confused. The young woman walks up to them and continues speaking. LM: I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and you both failed. SM: Actually, I don’t care what you think. This isn’t any of your business, (SM gives the young woman a stern look) so bud out. MM: (softly) I did my part, she’s the one who failed. She couldn’t control the kid. LM: That’s right MM, you did do your part, but you couldn’t control her either. MM: It’s not my job to control, SM does that. I wanted to make her feel guilty. LM: And when the girl felt guilty what were you going to do? MM: I, I, was gonna… SM: Why are you even talking to her MM? Miss, I don’t know who you are, but we are having a private discussion and… LM: What’s the problem SM? You never used to mind when I hung around listening. Back then it was just you and me… SM: I don’t know you (SM looks at the young woman’s face closer). LM: Yes you do. SM: There was never anyone else here, until MM came along. LM: You sure? SM: There was the pitiful little girl our host was when this all began, but I haven’t seen her since I took over. LM: Well, here I am. SM: That was you? Nah couldn’t be. (SM walked around LM looking her up and down) You was a kid, now… LM: I’ve grown up. MM: And? SM: This is ridiculous. You’re saying because you’re bigger our plan didn’t work? LM: Kinda. Let me explain. You guys lied and manipulated things to try to get the results you wanted. MM & SM: Yeah. LM: I didn’t, because I’m learning that’s not the way. SM: Whatever works is the way. LM: No, whatever’s right is the way. MM: What I was doing is right. When the girl gets older and has kids of her own she’ll understand. SM: That’s right, kids don’t know what’s best for them. All they have to do is never grow or be responsible. That way you can run their lives and be happy forever… LM: HELLO! You tried to keep this girl from growing up and being a responsible adult. Don’t either of you remember that’s what created this mess in the first place? MM &SM: Mess, what mess? LM: Duh, I guess both of you are forgetting, that we’re all coping mechanisms, created because our host didn’t want to be responsible either. When her boys were born, she handed things off to you SM. When her daughter came along and you needed help, she created MM. When MM’s guilt trips failed on the kid, our host knew she had to get real. Honestly, she was proud to see her daughter growing up and trying to become independent, since she hadn’t done that when she was her age. SM: So? LM: So, that’s where I come in. SM: Hey, keeping kids from growing up and accepting responsibility is one of the major reasons SM’s and MM’s exist. LM:I know, but it didn’t work. Besides, sacrificing and manipulating keeps our host co-dependent on you. MM: That’s right. Huh? Co-dependent, what’s that? SM: What are you talking about? LM: Co-dependency is a psychological relationship where a person is controlled or tries to control and manipulate others. If our host stays co-dependent she’ll never become whole and able to cope without us. SM: Yeah, and what's your point? LM: She doesn’t need that. MM: How do you know so much about this co-dependency anyway? LM: I guess I get to read a lot more than you guys do. Our host is accepting the world as it is without trying to fix it. When she has problems she works them out realistically, without striking out and hurting others. Sometimes she prays and when she does she gets answers through her heart and not her head. SM: So that’s why she didn't have the kid confined to a mental institution like I told her, I knew I was still at the top of my game! LM: Our host doesn’t do things your way anymore. I wanted her to throw a fit, SM you told her to take control and MM you wanted her to act like a victim. MM: One of those things always worked in the past… LM: Yeah, and they may still work but, our host doesn’t want to try them anymore. She’s responding to things differently because she sees things differently. MM: Yeah, but she still feels awful, so who cares? She should’ve listened to us. LM: Maybe you think so, but I’m glad she didn’t. SM: So, what’s she gonna do? LM: Nothing. SM: Nothing? LM: That’s right, nothing. She realizes this is her daughter’s life and she has to let her make her choices. MM & SM: So where does that leave us? LM: It does look like your days are numbered. SM: Our days? I thought you said she didn’t need any help? What does she need you for? (Before speaking LM closes her eyes. When she opens them MM & SM can see that she has grown older.) LM: I’m here for moral support. Our host she is working things out on her own, which means she’s also taking time, to heal her inner child, which would be me. So you see ladies, I’ll always be around. Sorry I can’t say the same for you two. Bye-bye now. SM & MM look at each other silently before walking away. They look back one more time before disappearing into the mist. Before they depart LM hears: MM: You know this is all your fault?… SM: Oh, shut-up! THE END I’m a mother of five, with children from ages thirty-one to nineteen. My daughter is the youngster, and it seems the most difficult to deal with. I wrote this when I was going through a particularly difficult issue with her. She’d made some choices that I didn’t approve of and I wanted to deal with the situation without using my old methods of manipulation (SM) and deceit (MM). |