How To Treat A Lady

HOW TO TREAT A LADY

Most of us men think we know how to treat a lady. We think opening a door and stepping to one-side to allow our lady friends enter first is being a gentleman. Well sorry guys, if that is all you think you have to do, then you are out of luck.


When you met the one you think is for you. Don’t use the chat up line of ‘How about it.’ Not unless you want a slap across the face, or a drink poured over your head. If she is the fiery kind she may pour it down your pants via your waist band. (That is a big turn off believe me) Try and find an original chat up line, something sweet, flirtatious and doesn’t make you look like a total idiot.

Right now you’ve finally succeeded in getting the girl of your dreams, and your about to go on your first date with her. You’ve booked a table at the best restaurant in town and looking forward to a real hot date. First don’t forget that small bunch of flowers, they’ll put in her good books right from the off.
Make sure you have some thing in mind to talk about, she does not want to hear all about your work, if she is not in the same field she will not know what you are talking about and it will just bore her. Ask her about herself about her job, but don’t let her go on to much about it, all either of you want to know is what you do for a living, not what goes on at your place of work, or about who is who or who does what, all that will come later. It might be a good idea to look up on the ‘net’ for some interesting topics to talk about. Not forgetting to keep it middle-of-the-road she does not want to know about how a carburettor works, unless she is a mechanic.

Now let’s study some of the things she will expect of you, if not all of the time than at least for most of it.

You arrive at her address for that all important date, don’t think that you can drive up and sit outside then blow the car horn. ‘No’ you will be expected to get out of the car and ring the door bell to let her know you have arrived. Although she and the rest of the family, has been looking out of the window for the last twenty minutes. Her mother let’s you inside and shows you in to the lounge, where you stand looking like a true wall flower.

At work you have twenty people working for you, you make million dollar deals, you are frightened of no-one, but there you stand, in this strange girl’s home and you are lost for words. Her grandmother who is sitting in a rocking chair in the corner, beside the television looks you up and down; she looks like Godzilla, but without teeth.
When your dream girl walks in to the room remember to tell her how beautiful she looks, then hand her the flowers. That is providing you remembered to pick them up before you got out the car (HINT) Always hold the bunch of flowers upside down, that way if they are starting to go a bit limp no-one will notice, and when you hand them over put your free hand under the heads of the flower’s, this will display your bouquet to the fullest. It’s up to you if you hand them over to the mother or your new girlfriend. Personally I always give them to the mother as I say, ‘These are for you, but they look insufficient in your presence.’ This always goes down well with both women.


You’ve arrived at the restaurant, now what? First you jump out of the car and open the door, That is if the concierge has not beaten you to it. Have you ever tried getting out of a sport’s car in a dress while trying not to show your underpants. When you are shown your table, if the waiter pulls out her chair let her sit-down first, if not you make sure you pull the chair out for her, but be careful not to bang her legs as you do so. Don’t forget you are driving and are only allowed one glass of wine with your meal. A best bet is to add water, although it is a sin to add any thing to wine. Keep the conversation light, but interesting, if you’ve got the hots for her don’t rush things she will let you know if you will be in luck and she is willing to go back to your place or not, either way always remember to take your ’Mates’ with you.

If she doesn’t give you the red light, you shouldn’t worry; it’s not a slur on your manhood. She may just be being coy. There is always another night just stay calm and all will fall into place.

Providing that night arrives there are a few important things you should always remember.

If you plan to take her back to your place, make sure you clean it up first, theres nothing worse than walking on someone else's dirt, for a woman that is. Look around the place, see those dirty plates in the corner pick them up and take them in to the kitchen, you know that room that holds the microwave and put them in the sink, its the square thing in the middle of the wall under the window, turn the tap/faucet on and let the hot water wash them. Go around the lounge and the bedroom and look for any dirty clothes, collect them all and put them in the linen basket. (If you don’t have a linen basket put them in the bottom of your wardrobe/closet.) Now don’t forget the most important part, the bed, if you think turning the sheets over will do, well it want, if you can’t remember when you last changed your sheet’s then it’s to long ago. Change the sheet’s, if you have only one set, wash them, not forgetting to use some fabric conditioner; she’ll think all the better of you if the bed at least smell’s nice.

I’ll leave it there for now guys and will try and come up with some more tips next time. Enjoy your night-out and don’t forget if she is the girl for you, you will no longer have to worry about that clean shirt or underclothes ever again.