My first thoughts

The sun shines in to wake my up. Its another day, another day to live. I roll out of bed to look at the clock and remember when it did not hurt to get up at 11a.m. Open the mini-fridge and reach for some water, thats just what I need. I take a swig and it all hits me like a train, a pain in my arm's and back. I groan, and look to see why it hurts. There is a dried bloody gash across my back and my right arm. Parts are opening up again after the sudden movements. Great now I get to explain that one to everyone.
I put on some random cloths in my closet, not even caring what they look like together, if people care that much they can look away.
I work my way out to my car to go into town. I make it and slowly lower myself into my seat. I drive to my local mart to pick up some "fixing" supplies. These are gauze, super glue, and some hydrogen peroxide.
I start to clean my self up as I walk out and my phone rings. Its Ann, (name changed so as not to upset her) this lady is amazingly beautiful, fun, and sweet. That being said its not why I like her so much. Its because shes so open with me and so kind that I feel that I owe her more then I can give. The problem being is she does not think of me as anything more then a friend and she has a boyfriend. I would never get in the way of her being happy but, somewhere in the back of my mind I hope to be able to "pick up the piece's" if anything ever goes wrong.
She starts to tell me how she needs advice on her boyfriend, my heart sinks. I feel so bad for her she is such an amazing lady but , her boyfriend treats her bad. She asks me if she should do anything else with him because hes being a "jackass." I suddenly get this thought that maybe its my turn maybe I'll get a chance to make her happy. We talk, I flirt with her, she flirts back, I start to think its going to work! Then she has to go. I am so happy at this time I feel like I am on-top of the world.
Fast forward to the next day when she calls me crying. Ill tell you know, you ever want me to get angry at someone ladies call me crying and tell me why. She tells me he was such an ass and that he need to go away. She even says that shes going to break up with him! I am thinking Finally! Then she drops the bomb, she likes someone else that she works with. She has wants to do things with him that I can only imagine about. I feel like shit! I do not know what to do or what to say. I revert back to my usual self, hiding inside my mind. She quits crying and thanks me for listening and hangs up. I decide its time to go for a "anger-ride." This is where I ride my bike as fast as I can and do things that will more then likely hurt myself.
I head out, making my way from one end of town to the other. I jump off of curbs into traffic, throw my body off of ramps, heck I even try to do things that I know I ca not. Then I came to the river. Its so calm there, by the shore with the water flowing by. I realized how stupid I am. How I never had a chance in the first place, and even if I did it would not work because she deserves so much better then I could possible give. Thats when I came to the conclusion that I will not try to "woo" a girl anymore. If she likes me then we will go from there, but I cant do this to myself anymore, my heart is getting to many scar's on it.