Chapter 2 (A whole new beginning)

“Lees!”
A gentle voice drifted up from downstairs.
I couldn’t answer.
There was that horrible lump in my throat again.
My Aunt persisted.
“Oi! Lees!OI!”
I coughed, brushed a hand past my eyes and answered.
“Wha’?”
“Gina and Chris are ier, Lee!”
“K, An’y Tree! “
I stepped backwards from the mirror and looked disatatisfied at my reflection.
Short, straight, lifeless black hair. Matted and sticky on my scalp.
Bright makeup, amateurishly applied onto an unusually pale, pasty face.
Purple jeans, slashed and torn, frayed and scuffed.
Not to make a statement, nor in a moment in fury. But because that’s how Jono wore them.
A bright greenT-shirt, with that horrendous cliché, “rock chick”, scrawled across it, in silver gothic letters.
One sleeve longer than the other.
And those terrible, mournful eyes….
I looked a state and I knew it.
“Lee?” asked the anxious voice of my Aunt. “You K Lee?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” I briskly replied. “’Old yer ‘orses, Am comin’!”
I thundered downstairs as I hoarsly yelled my reply.
I hated my voice.
It was all gruff and gravely.
I burst into the living room, to find Gina and Chris sprawled across My Aunts cream coloured settee, happily chatting to my Aunt who was busying about, dusting and singing.
They all turned to greet me.
My Aunt sighed, and an expression of exasperation, disappointment and worry momentarily took over her unusually calm and cheerful one.
Chris grinned and Gina warily raised a critical eyebrow.
And they had every reason to be critical.
They both looked immaculate.
Gina.
With that gorgeous chocolate brown hair, that I always admired.
Those soft, hazel eyes.
A strappy, lemon coloured top, and short white combat trousers.
She didn’t wear much make-up, just the minimal amount in order to emphasize her beautiful, striking features.
And Chris.
Tall.
Black jeans.
Hair, wet with gel, and messily spiked.
A longish white shirt, untucked.
Both of them.
Perfection in my eyes.
There was silence for a moment.
Gina was first to speak.
“Errr…Lee? Your not going out like, like that are you?”
“Yeah. Why?”
I knew exactly why.
More silence.
I could almost see them thinking desperately of a tactful way to dissuade me from my intentions.
Then Chris spoke up, rather shyly.
“ Lee. You don‘t have to pretend. We’re your friends. We can help you. You don’t have to go on like this forever you know.”
His emphatic sympathy was almost too much.
“Burra wanna.” Came my somewhat childish reply.
He sighed and my Aunt took over.
“Please, Love…please stop this.”
“Stop what?” I replied.
How old was I? Five?
Gina had to reply to that one.
“Oh! For God’s sake, Lisa Kay Marshall! You cannot go round town like that! Stop this act now! We’re going to the pics for chrissakes! And stop acting like a insolent little child! You can’t fool us so stop pretending! You know exactly why you cant go out like that! You look awful! You‘d never‘d have done that before. Where‘s my Lisa gone?? Where?”
She was right.
She always was.
But she didn‘t have to shout at me like that…
“Oh, just, just SHUT UP!Shut up! Just shut up, like and stop criticizing! You dunt even know what yerron about! Can’t ya see me? I’m stood right ier! Looka at me know! If you don’t like me…If your ashamed…”
Gina quickly bit back whilst My Aunt and Chris quietly watched from the sidelines.
“Oh! Wake up Lee! Look at ya? Look at yourself! Yeah! Yeah! I am ashamed! Ashamed that your throwing Teresa’s kindness back in her face. Ashamed you’ve shunned me and Chris- Your real friends. Ashamed that your missing school for God knows what. Ashamed for the fact that everyone’s talking about you, Lisa, saying horrid stuff, and I can’t answer back! I just don’t know with you anymore.. “
Tears had welled up in her eyes and were now flowing freely down her face.
My Aunt and Chris took their places by her side, isolating me as a result.
Now I was the one being shunned.
They didn’t want me anymore.
My eyes stung.
Gina continued, but in a softer, pleading, voice.
“Please Lee. Look at what your doing to yourself. Look at the way your heading. Look what your dong to your poor Aunt Teresa!“
Come to think of it, My Aunt, did look tired.
“Please…stop it, Lee. Stop it, go upstairs, get changed, wipe that bloody muck off of yourself and start being yourself again. I want my Lisa back! Please.”
At this she broke down into fast flowing tears, and I saw that My Aunt was close to the same.
Chris, however, just quietly bit his lip, and looked at me thoughtfully.
Awkwardly.
Gina didn’t understand.
I wanted my old Lisa back, but the old Lisa had somehow hid as the new one took over.
She hardly existed anymore.
I searched around for an excuse, my voice steady despite the fact that I was ready to give way to tears.
“You don’t understand!”I wailed dramatically. “Ever since me parents died..”
“Your parents died! Your parents died! Change the record will ya Lee? Teresa’s sister died! And she was left to bring you up! And this is how you repay her is it? For giving you a home, and clothes and food and providing for your every need?
Is it? Is that a thank you?”
“ Oh who cares about Teresa?” I mocked.
“I hate Teresa.”
I didn’t mean that.
I didn’t mean that at all.
Chris looked shocked.
Tree looked terribly hurt.
Gina looked as if she was about to explode.
“I’m so sorry.” Said the Old Lisa, at last surfacing and firmly pushing the other one away.
“I didn’t- I ’onestly- really..!
“Just GET OUT!!”
A voice erupted nearby.
But it wasn’t Gina.
It was Tree.
My gentle, strong, lovely Tree.
She wanted me out.
Something inside gave way.
All that burning anger, that awful, firey feeling, disappeared, replaced by an urge to run.
I ran.
I kept running. Out of the door, towards the beach, past cafes, shops and houses. Neighbours, strangers and tourists all disappeared behind me, until I finally reached what I‘d been unconsciously heading for.
The beach.
I scuttled down the crickety wooden stairs that led me downwards.
I took off my shoes, loving the cool feeling of sand between my toes.
I slowed to a stroll and appreciated the rough tug of my hair and the icy cold kiss that I received from the wind.
I eventually found “Rachels cave” a tiny little opening in the crooked rocks, which me and Gina had once turned into our den.
I crawled inside.
It was only small, but large enough for me to crawl inside and cry my heart out.
And eventually fall asleep.