the graveyard

The Graveyard
I stand on soiled grass, in this dark place. All sounds seem moot here like the world is holding its breath, waiting to release. I look down to her grave, it seems still, peaceful,but it is not it screams at me in its silence. it begins to rain, a soft sort, kicking up a fine mist that clings to everything. It grips at my trench coat, mocking me. All the headstones here are a dark marble, with lighter engravings, they speak to me. “most beloved daughter,…loving father….never forget..” they are all beautiful, but hers is the best.
“mara lee ashcroft” “1970 – 2003” “the light that you shed shall never diminish”
my wet hair gets into my eyes, I push it back into place, the dark gnarled trees, stand testament to this place, it seems ageless, timeless. I stand in the vortex of the world, and in the stillness I feel so alone. I cry , but not for her, for me, because I am truly alone, for the first time, before it was always us, we faced the world together, we fought, and lost together, even in defeat, I could always turn to her, for support, but not now. Now a terrible disease, has taking you away, and I have not the strength, to follow . So I am left with this curse of life! Having to live each day without you and the dull pain inside eats away at my soul. You were one in a lifetime, and now the rest of my life is before me.
I don’t want to do it, but I must, it will be hard, but even in death, you still inspire me, I shall take that which you taught me in life, and use your strength and determination. I shall teach him , to be a good person and live life to its fullest and all the while I will tell him of his mother and how wonderfully she was. We will keep you in our prayers and in our hearts. I reach down and take my sons hand we quietly walk back to the car as I put him in his booster seat, he looks at me and says something I would never forget.
“ daddy, mommy says that she is happy and you should be to” I almost stop buckling him in as tears rush to my eyes and speak for the first time “ I will be, I will be”and now I know that it will be alright, everything will be all right.