Why I can't learn to swim?

Stepping into the pool; right foot first, than left foot, now both feet are in. Children diving, swimming all around me, splashing, kicking, laughing, and giggling. I stand still; afraid to move, but I want to swim.

I signed up for water aerobics for two reasons, one was for me. Because I needed to lose some weight. And the other was for my ten-year-old neice, who is quite overweight. Learning or wanting to swim wasn't on my mind in the beginning. I just wanted to lose some weight and get in shape. My second day of aerobics class was going great until I heard a little voice inside my head saying, "I want to learn how to swim." Oh my, where did that come from. All I ever wanted to do in a pool was to keep my head out of the water and don't drown; atleast I thought. Now here I go another not so great idea. As I stood there thinking and listening for that little voice again. You know the one with the not so great ideas. What's the big thing about this swimming? Why am I pondering this idea as if it was a life or death decision? What's wrong with me? Why can't I learn to swim? And then it hit me; WHAM, BAM, and no thank you mam.

It was as if I the lights went on and the bells started to ring, and I was five years old again. My older sister, my cousin, and I would often take our bath together. So, when my mother called us all into the bathroom it was nothing out of the ordinary. Until, once my sister, cousin, and I was in, and my mother put my other cousin and her brother in. And then she almost threw my one-month-old baby brother in, and oh yeah I can't forget my oldest brother. WHAT THE H--- IS GOING ON? Then all you could hear was screaming and crying. And we were kicking and fighting trying to keep our heads out of the water. While my mother was screaming, crying, and fighting to push our heads down into the water. I can remember my oldest cousin holding my one-month-old baby brother as high in the air as she could. And then; I heard some glass breaking and I saw these two big black arms grabbing my mother around her waist.

And now I know; why I can't learn to swim.