Outhouse Digest

Outhouse Digest
“Mala Tempora Currunt” or maybe good times?
By Zedikiah


Dear Readers/Campers as a co-writer of this article I would like to inform you of recent Camp updates (and rumors) concerning the notorious John McCarthy. In our last clipping, readers were introduced to the myths and legends about this Irish nightwalker. Although his antics were somewhat remarkable and even dangerous in some cases, McCarthy gave to the camp a sense of nightly exemption that some thought was inappropriate and even against the camper contract! A realization of nightly independence as a self-given right had awoken with a fearsome burst of alacrity.“Is that John McCarthy?” asked a new camper with fear and adulation shining from his eyes. “Is that really him?” Questions and comments such as this continually fly through the “Alive in Christ Byzantine Boot Camp” about the famous or maybe infamous John McCarthy. Over the years, John has come to be known as the Maker of Marijuana Man, the Poker King, Diurnally Inadequate, Mooner, and Blood-brother to the Skinwalkers.( If you don’t recognize any of these titles please ask a gallupian about previous camp years) However, this positive popularity of McCarthy does not exist everywhere. The Officials, a.k.a. Team Liters, have claimed to have seen him with there secret, night vision equipment participating in illicit, cultish and night supportive activities such as contraband and belly dancing. Contraband items such as food and electronic devices are of course prohibited from the camp. Mainly, because they might attract grizzly bears or large rattlesnakes who may want to participate in the all-night vigil, and this of course is out of the question.(although boys would not mind at all switching places and catching up on some much needed sleep) Belly dancing on the other hand, is outlawed at the camp because of its extraordinary affect on Byzantine Catholics. Who, after seeing a belly-dancer, have an immediate urge to convert to Roman Catholicism without first consulting their bishop or contacting a local exorcist. Therefore, we end this program by saying that although freedom of the night is a phenomenal idea, those means(which I have mentioned above) do not justify the end.

Thank you for listening and
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Outhouse Digest