you ask me "did you do it?" in a plain, pertentious voice as if i would confess myself away to death. what do you expect me to say, "yes officer i did it. i didn't mean to do it. i wasn't being myself, i wasn't in the right state of mind at the time. please give me a break. it wasn't my fault." no, i wouldn't think of stooping so low just to confide in the law of your negative plus level. yes, i did do it. but you dont know that. you have no evidence to hold up against me. yes, i killed that man and the woman by his side. i couldn't resist the scent of betrail, unfaithfulness, murder lingering through his veins. once i was done with him i couldnt just leave the poor girl crouching there in the corner crying like a baby. she put on an act of sinless innocense when in fact she was just as bad as the man. the aroma of sex, self-loathing and regret fumed from her sweat and tears. nothing but a peice of meat that fucked men to live. and what a way of living, sex with random bodies and risk of diseases. men nothing but an object to her. a dollar sign, a symbol of survival. i killed them both and im happy that i did. they deserved what they got. you sit here and tell me that i dont care. that i dont care about anything or anyone. but that isnt true. i care. i care about the men that now live with aids because they were so lonely that they thought they should hire a hooker for the night deciding later it was a bad choice and a unwise mistake. i care about the woman crying right outside of this room, partly because a person is now dead but especially because she now knows shes on her own. away from an abusive husband she knew was sleeping around on her, a man that never let her be, that kept her captive for so many years. dont tell me that i dont care. dont tell me i did the wrong thing by killing them one by one. you can try to convict me but you have no evidence. i dont even know why im still sitting here. ill continue to do what im doing and you'll never stop me, but you may try if you like. to be continued...... |