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Rated: 13+ · Non-fiction · Experience · #1143419
Bad Memories Of Love Keeps A New Love From Starting
I stand here before Loves door. I have been here before.
He asked me to step through Loves door, offering me his hand to hold while stepping through. Remembering when I had been inside Loves door before, there was laughter of happiness, the warmth of passion, the moans of pleasure, doing what Lovers do. Feeling safe and secure, inside loves door. I began to reach for his hand, but hesitate. He can see and understands my fear as he steps through to wait for me

Still I am afraid of Loves door.
I turn and walk away, returning to the long lonely days and nights that are much to quiet. I hide here in this emptiness where loves pain will not find me. I feel so lonely, longing to be as one with someone, sharing all the things that Lovers share If only I had the courage to step through loves door

I return once more to Loves door.
I tremble as I reach to knock on Loves door. I hear a sound with in. I turn in fear being chased by memories of a monster I had met on the other side of that door before. Pain, humiliation, and abuse and called it love. Bruises, cuts and scars. The physical ones have healed. The emotional ones remain. The insanity of it all till I ran for my life.

I had stood before Loves door
Another had stood with me before in front of Loves door and he wasn't a monster when he had asked me to step through. He was good and kind and loving and the fairy tale romance began. All fairy tales have something or someone that is evil and bad. I did not know that in my fairy tale it would be him. He had promised to love and keep me safe. Kisses were replaced with a fist, and hugs replaced with hands around my throat. I ran back through Loves door never intending to return

Wishing to stand before Loves door
I had been through loves door before I met the monster there. Shared thoughts, hopes, passion with others and when the flames of love turned to embers, holding hands stepping back through loves door. I gather up all my courage because love does not always hurt. There is someone who loves me and has been waiting for me to step through Loves door.

Standing here before Loves door, I have been here before
I feel so many emotions, my hand trembles as I reach to knock on Loves door. I knock softly and listen within. Maybe he didn't hear. A little louder I knock again . Quiet is all I hear. With my heart breaking I open the door. There is no one there. I have waited to long to step through Loves door.

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