Outside Seating

“Why can’t people be more courteous these days?”

“How so?”

“No one says ‘please’ anymore, for example.”

“You mean like, ‘Please get off my ass, bitch!’ Like that?”

“Something like that.”

“I get what you mean, man. Like this other day, my mom didn’t say ‘please’ when she yelled at me about still living at home.”

“And that you’re unemployed?”

“She didn’t say anything ‘bout that…”

“Anyway, it bugs me that people can be so rude and get away with it.”

“I think you’re blowin’ this out of proportion, man. Just because someone doesn’t say ‘please’, it doesn’t mean they’re being rude. They can still be courteous, I think.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“You guys doing all right?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“I’m ready for another.”

“And you?”

“I think I’ll wait. Thanks, sweetie. A water would be great, though.”

“Yeah, for me, too.”

“You got it.”

“Oooh, that bitch got a nice ass on her.”

“She’s a dancer, you know…”

“No shit! Are you are serious?!”

“Oh, yeah. Me and Bobby saw her at Millie’s. You know, the one on Walker.”

“No fuckin’ way! Man, do you wanna go tonight?”

“What makes you think she’ll be dancing tonight?”

“Aww, man, that’s true. We could ask her?”

“Ha! You would ask her, wouldn’t you?”

“Hell, yeah!”

“Don’t, dude. I’m sure she would rather not talk about her night job while she’s on her day job.”

“Shit…”

“Plus, that would be the rudest thing anyone could ever possibly do. Even for you.”

“True, man. Shit…”

“Although, I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“True, too.”

“We went on a Friday. Chances are she dances every Friday.”

“So, let’s go this Friday, man!”

“Fine. Shhh…here she comes.”

“Here you go, cutie. And here’s your water.”

“Oh, so I’m not a cutie?”

“Hee-hee! You’re a cutie, too.”

“Thought so.”

“It’s nice out here today, huh, guys?”

“I love the summers here.”

“Yeah, I wouldn't live anywhere else. Anything else I can get for you guys?”

“Heh-heh-heh…”

“No, nothing right now, sweetie. Thank you.”

“Okay. Just holler if you need anything.”

“Okay… You are so bad, dude…”

“Sorry, man. I couldn’t help it.”

“Hey, have you heard from Cindy?”

“That bitch hasn’t called me in days!”

“I guess it’s over then, huh?”

“I dunno, man. She’s psycho. You know she stole my DVDs?”

“She did? Wait, all of them?”

“No, just my fuckin’ entire Godfather collection.”

“Did you ask her for them?”

“Bitch is denyin’ she has ‘em at all. But, I know she does…”

“Well, if that’s your only loss, I think you should consider yourself lucky.”

“Oh, I’ll get ‘em back. One way or another.”

“Is there any word on your car yet?”

“Man, Mike’s been workin’ on that shit for a week! Says he’s almost done with it, though. I’m hatin’ this takin’ the bus crap…”

“Must be harsh. Especially how hot it’s been lately.”

“Tell me ‘bout it.”

“Hey, but you wanted to have that spoiler.”

“I know. But, I didn’t think it was gonna take this long to have it installed. Shoulda just taken it to a shop.”

“Hey, free is free, dude. Be thankful Mike agreed to do it pro bono.”

“I guess. But it still sucks.”

“Yup.”

“Hey, fellas. Can you spare a quarter?”

“Now, that’s something I don’t get either...”

“Huh?”

“Why are you only asking for a quarter? Is what you need to buy only going to cost twenty-five cents? What can you buy for twenty-five cents these days?”

“Well, a handful of M&M’s from one of those candy dispenser-thingies at the mall. You’ve seen ‘em, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I have seen those…”

“Look, buddy. If you didn’t have any change to spare, just say so.”

“Now, why are you taking that tone with me all of a sudden? I was merely asking a clarifying question. I mean, what were you going to buy? Booze, probably. And a can of beer costs at least a dollar at the Circle K. Maybe a dollar-fifty. So, why are you only asking for a quarter?”

“I think it costs a dollar-twenty-five, man. Last time I checked.”

“Whatever. My point is that this guy’s not being very efficient. Why not ask for a dollar-twenty-five if that’s what it costs to buy what he needs to buy?”

“Good point, man.”

“Screw you, assholes!”

“Oh, so now you’re going to be rude about it?”

“Let him go, man. Yeah, that’s right, just walk away, pal!”

“What an asshole!”

“I hear ya, man. First, he’s beggin’ us for money. Then, he’s cussin’ at us for bein’ helpful.”

“This just proves my earlier point: people are so rude nowadays.”

“I get what you mean, man..."


NOTE: This was originally intended for a WDC "dialogue only" contest, but I never submitted it. Oh, well...