arrested by Dancing Mexican Llamas

The Story of Margaret, Jenny, Bekah, Raymond, Travis, Richelle, Natalie, Lara, Noell, and Angela: A History








Jenny and Margaret
With special thanks to: Lara, Travis, Natalie, and Richelle
Some crazy professor
Some awesome class
Some apocalyptic date


Jenny and Margaret
Some crazy professor
Some awesome class
Some apocalyptic date

The Story of Margaret, Jenny, Bekah, Raymond, Travis, Richelle, Natalie, Lara, Noell, and Angela: A History
Preface: To my dear, old friend who has corroborated with me to make a sizable (sizable defines one at this point and time-not 1/2, or 5, or 2, but 1, and ONLY one, shall this collection thus be counted, which is here sizable, which we have established here in this magnanimous book as one) collection of action stories with wild, crazy college freshmen, I give thanks for letting me take part of this little rendezvous that we have so meticulously crafted over the course of a few wild and whoopin-and-a-hollerin’ fun times, which, for some, has been known to be called “vacations.”
And to the reader: may this book transform your idea of Christmas vacation, and may your future ones be as wild, if not, dare we say, EVEN MORE WILDER, than this one, or at least in your head, which would be much safer to do these sorts of thing in the living room of your own brain. So, whether you shall join us in spirit or action, we give you best wishes to your reading of this marvelous book,
The Authors


Note: this story was taken over by the Dancing Mexican llamas, so now we will go in email form.

Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo…
…. The authors have tied up the Dancing Mexican Llamas by their sombreros and threw then in a cage, so now we continue to our novel. Unfortunately, we are unable to get the novel back into MLA form, so we will have to continue in email form.

Jenny:
[It’ll be the day we get a snow day at college when we get 6 feet of snow and classes will be
cancelled...or maybe the day we'll get 5 feet of snow and the gator/snow
shoveler won't work. But that's not going to happen... unless we and seven of our friends get a snow
MAKER and sabotage the campus one night! Just think! We get Bekah to steal
for us one of those snow makers from the ski slopes from Colorado, and we say
just the campus got 6 feet of snow. Of course the snow maker will have to be
ditched at President Dude’s house to say HE did it, to say he's the one
who didn't feel like going to work the next day.

Margaret:
Leaving it at President Dude’s house is ingenious. I think that we should have President Dude saying he did do it. But nobody believes him and so they start
looking for any clues as to who actually did it. They'll figure out that
it's us because we're not anywhere on campus to be found. And nobody else
but the culprits would've been able to get out. So everybody that was still
in school was stuck in their halls. Where were we? We were halfway to
Colorado cause we were going to go pick up Bekah. We had hotwired a car in
the parking lot and parked it off campus before our snow raid. You're
driving and Noell is switching off with you when you get tired. We have um some kind of music that we all like blasting really
loud. Well not to loud but you know what I mean. Wow. Ok. So I can't wait to
read what's next! E-mail part three when you have the chance.

And now it’s time for random phrases with Margaret. The part of the book where Margaret comes out and says Random phrases:
Travis phrase: “It’s all good!”
Margaret phrase: Coolness
Lara phrase: It’s all cool
Jenny phrase: Amen sista’


Jenny:
And we're crazy, so we have the windows down, and the air is blowing our
hair and the guys are strapped to the top with ropes we stole from College Buildings and Grounds, because we are in a yellow bug and we don’t have enough room even with people on each others laps, and so they create some air resistance, which they calculate for us, for Noell and Jenny,
> in the middle of the night. We are listening to our beloved history song.
> After about 5 hours drive, 3 bags of popcorn, 4 Mountain dews, and 4 bananas
> (for me), 3 things of Ramen, fours bags of Hershey kisses, five bottles of orange soda, 4 bottles of ketchup, and 10 pieces of random fruit we make it to Bekah's house. Frozen cold (the window mechanics
quit
> working and we couldn’t roll them back up), we stumble into Bekah's house,
and
> us ten plot what to do next. Shall we go back to Seward and the massage
> therapy school or shall we have a road trip over the Rockies, take a plane
> from California to Hawaii, and have a 3 1/2 week vacation there? (We sold
the
> car for $2000 (It was that yellow bug Volkswagen) and got paid in cash). We
> decide to do the latter, and take Bekah's car.
> > So off we go in the middle of the night (we left a note for Bekah's
parents).
> So now not have we only sabotaged the college campus, framed our president,
> hot-wired and "borrowed" a car, we also sold that car and took a getaway
> without telling anyone but Bekah's parents.



Margaret:
Ok. So we get access to some really good high speed internet thanks to Raymond and Travis computers smarts and find the
absolute cheapest flight to Hawaii from California and book it. Then we take
off over the Rocky Mountains. We stop at the next Wal-Mart for more popcorn,
bananas, Mountain Dew, Ramen, green tea, chai tea, apples, orange soda, French fries, ketchup, spinach, mints, lot’s of chocolate, Christmas cookies, random fruit, water, milk, Gatorade, Coca-Cola, strawberry tea, and quaker squares and we're ready to go.
The Wal-Mart clerk just looks at us funny because of the weird assortment of
food we're buying. Then we drive for 8 hours and stop at a motel for the
night. We left Bekah’s car in the motel parking lot and stole a big yellow bus. The next day we start driving up Rocky Mountain number one.
More to happen soon I hope.

More random phrases with Margaret
Raymond phrase: oofta.
Lip song phrase: oosta=polish for lips
Noell: Argh!

Jenny:
On number 1, we encounter a blizzard, but Richelle’s driving and Natalie takes over for her, so we're in good hands. After that, when we leave the chillier climates of Colorado and reach the next state, we run into an ice storm, and then later on "down the road" (that was supposed to be a pun) we run into a hail storm and an electric storm, complete with a downpour (hmm... this is starting to sound like the story of Jonah...). All the while, we're listening to loud music, switching from classical rock to classical music to world music to Christian Contemporary to country to hymns to pop to soft rock to silly Irish tunes to Veggie Tales to gospel (we're sharing out music:). We're having a smashing good time with our goodies and music, until we hit the desert in Nevada (does Rocky Mountain 1 go through there?).

There we make a pit stop and gas up our big yellow bus... and see that there are some "dents" (actually, we see where the hail has made some softball-sized depressions in the car, and where the grizzly bear in Colorado decided to body surf on our car for a couple of miles, after it thought the bus looked like a big Twinky- hey, you'd be hungry too if you hadn't eaten for 2 months and were woken up by a really loud Beethoven tune passing by your den!)... we now knew what was making all the noise and making all but Richelle scream. Richelle just drove quietly smiling because we’re all crazy and Natalie and Richelle knew about the bear but didn’t tell and just tried to put on happy songs while we all screamed. oh well! We eat, drink, and are merry, for tomorrow we'll die! (They'd suspend us from College if we came back...but they can't find us! Tee, hee, hee!).

After trekking through the desert (now think Moses and Israel wandering through the desert for 40 years) in what we decided to affectionately call the Twinkymobile, listening to some cool world tunes, we make it to Las Vegas. And we all gamble $10 no more then that though. Then we go to the nearest general store and buy bear spray. Then we hotwire a random Nascar and Travis starts driving. We extended the wings of the NASCAR and the other nine of us are strapped to that. And the NASCAR has a 29 on it. He’s never driven a NASCAR before so we get into a couple of “bumps” and the NASCAR rolls twice but we’re all still strapped in with helmets so in the words of Travis “It’s all good!” However after that we run into ginormous squirrel about 100 feet tall and giant Veggie Tales that all attack the NASCAR. But Travis presses some random button and fire comes out of the engines and so we get out of that. Woo-hoo!

Margaret: After Travis gets tired we ditch the Nascar and hotwire an extended 25 passenger van because we are tired of being squashed and Raymond and Angela trade off driving and Jenny sits in the front passenger seat when Raymond drives and we’re all in the van and Travis, Lara, Noell, Richelle, Natalie, Bekah, Angela and I are attempting to play Uno but Travis and Lara keep fighting over who said Uno first and nobody wants to agree with anybody because they don’t want anybody mad at each other so we stop playing and Noell, Richelle, Angela, and Natalie make a house of cards instead and it knocks over because the bridge is out and Raymond almost goes over the bridge and gets bug eyes and almost has a heart attack and Jenny is yelling at us in the back shushing us and trying to calm Raymond down and so we all calm down because it’s just a game and we try to be quieter so that Raymond can get over his almost heart attack and Angela-the-calm-one takes over driving because Raymond is frazzled.

Jenny: After parking the van in some shadowy place in the LAx airport, we then walk toward the airport with our internet proofs of tickets...


Margaret: Ok. So we're in the airport. But it turns out that there are posters up all
> over the country of us. This airport included. So we duck into a store and
> buy outfits and makeup. Then we change our looks entirely and get on the
> plane. As we are flying an electrical storm overtakes us and the ten of us get somehow thrown into a magical spaceship that brings us to Jupiter. We find that we can
> breathe just fine and that there's a civilization up there. Meanwhile back on
> earth the entire country is awaiting our arrival in Hawaii.
> Can't wait for more.

Jenny: Soooo, we get to Jupiter, and the inhabitants take a look at us. We try to explain to them our story, and they actually have big question marks over their heads, because they can’t understand the concept of hotwiring and bears, so we give up. And so, they try to explain the history of Jupiter to us, and we have actual question marks over our heads (the atmosphere of Jupiter causes our emotions to displayed over our heads with the concoction of various punctuations, such as ?, !, ., and …, and ?!, et cetera, et ceterta, et cetera (and no, I am not the king- maybe… well, alright, I’m the King, and Anna, well, she decided to take a dip in the Pacific Ocean and turned in a mermaid- so did her son  ). After we finally understood what they were talking about (but they never understood us yet), we became and illustrious and the magnificent ten.
Margaret became successful writing silly stories and through telling the magnanimous stories of Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato. Jenny formed and conducts the world Jupiter Symphonic Orchestra. She told them how to make the flute, piccolo, oboe, bassoon, saxophones, clarinet, English horn, euphonium, trumpet, trombone, French horn, Sousaphone, tuba, violin, viola, cello, string bass, tymphony, bass drum, marimba, trap set, guitar, electric guitar, the piano, the organ, the dulcimer, the fire organ, crash cymbals, suspended cymbals, and the harp. Bekah taught them how to make didgeridoos. Bekah gave oboe, English horn, bassoon, piano and didgeridoo lessons, and Jenny gave them flute, piccolo, percussion, and saxophone lessons. Raymond gave them euphonium and brass lessons. He and Travis start the first school of natural sciences. Raymond becomes the first pastor on Jupiter and also teaches Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Travis expounds on entomology. He also starts a business school.
Bekah becomes a very lucrative music therapist and massage therapist. Richelle taught the young Jupitertonians because there was a shortage of teachers for that age group of Jupitertonians. Natalie becomes a professional artist, and the natives love her art work so much that they pay her for each piece she does. Lara becomes famous for reinventing and introducing ketchup. Angela starts the first professional basketball association. Noell teaches religion to the young Jupitertonians.

Margaret: Ten years later when we are all 28 and 29 and majorly successful we take a picture of ourselves in a space capsule that Raymond and Travis made with rocket fuel engines and inside we put a post card with the picture saying “Wish you were Here” on it and we send it to President Dude and it crashes through his window and onto his desk. He comes into the room and opens it and suddenly……… the dancing Mexican llamas come and arrest the ten of us and bring us back to earth and we end up in jail for 5 years together ( sounds dangerous doesn’t it?) for all the cars we hotwired and for the fake ID’s. Then we were thrown back into society under special government identities to protect us from scientists who would want to do tests on us because we had been on Jupiter for 10 years.
And now it’s time for the last installment of random quotes.
Bekah: Hi girl
Lara: expunge
Margaret quote: And Stuff
Noell: lylas
Richelle: It’s not what’s inside but what I do that defines me
Natalie: Cinnamon Toast Crunch makes good desert
Angela: Jenny are you ok?
Raymond: Holy Cow! Sweetness!
Travis: I need to go get more sugar water.

Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo doo-doo…

Epilogue-ness
And so, my dear readers, the moral of today’s grand, magnanimous story is- well, don’t leave home without your dancing Mexican Llama detectors, bought at any Wal-Mart, be it super-size or otherwise. Otherwise, this will happen to you, and though, in the living room of your brain, it might sound fun, like the quest for the Holy Grail, it ends like it does for the knights- arrested. That’s clear. And like Mum and Pop say, “Don’t do this because you’ll end up in jail.” So bring your dancing Mexican Llama detectors and everything be just smashing. And stuff.