Inside Loves' Mind

Article # 84

There are two divisions most people pay attention to when it comes to lovers, although it’s common that people follow their hearts, everyone always thinks about those feelings growing inside them in a practical mind frame, even if it’s just for a little while before letting raw emotions or true love take over. So what are the logical branches of love? What ideas do we theorists ponder? What formula can there be for what humans feel?

First is:
How you feel about them:
(then there are sub-groups)
a) Is this the kind of person you can see yourself with? Do you identify with her on a personal level? Do you respect her career? Are you at a similar life-stage? Do you share views on Faith/religion? Do you have things in common? Do you agree on political of feminist issues? Is she stable? Facts like this.
b) Do you find yourself thinking about her uncontrollably, are you physically attracted to her? Are you filled with a sense of pride about her? Do you have an intense desire to remove all emotional traumas from her life regardless of severity? Have you experienced a drastic carelessness for any other person? Do you run to her emotionally when things aren't so great?

So the first division is about what your personal opinions are and then that is separated into "logical and emotional" connections. Love can not exist with one or the other, but may only flourish when both mental and emotional reactions are noted. This isn’t something a person can fake; miss-interpretation comes from reading into the other person inaccurately. This means that it does happen, but it’s not because a lover has masked her feelings or been dishonest, it’s because her partner has falsely analyzed the emotions.



Secondly, we've got:
How this individual effects you personally:
a) Do you feel smart, and pretty in her company? Does being around her lift you on a spiritual level? Are you being challenged by everyday things when in her presence? Do you like who you are when you're around this person? Do you attitudes change for the better?
b) Does she make you want to be a better person? Have you re-evaluated jobs or education prospects? Do you strive to make her proud? Do you follow through with advice she's given? Are you able to concentrate on minor/major successes in your life?

So, when it comes to what this lover does for you, divide that into "who am i when we're together and how much of her stays with me when we're not". People have got to establish a life that balances out the two, since of course you’re not always together.
And sometimes it takes effort to be productive and keep routine when she’s away from you. Use this to your advantage, use her image as inspiration, especially if you’ve visualized a future with this woman you’ll have to become a stable being that she’ll want to settle down with.

~Rayne/06.




Article # 86

Someone once asked me to define romantic happiness. Well, for the purpose of this article I will, even though it’s obvious that happiness is as diverse as the person that feels it. But how does one become happy? And are there factors and variables that play individual parts? Well the first indentation of personal joy is:

Personal/individual contentment:
This is vaguely described by the sum of the two points made above of logical and emotional connections, and if you’re attracted and commune well with your lover it brings you a sense of bliss. “Just being around her makes me happy” is a common phrase and it refers to the emotional feeling of being high when you spent time with the person you’re hoping to build a future with. When the future is open, personal happiness is at it’s greatest potential, it then depends on the two next factors to direct the thrill.

Interpersonal Reactions:
Although I’ve heard that one cannot fulfill another person unless happy with who they are themselves first. There’s some truth to this, but Interpersonal Reactions deals with the emotional reaction that one receives from the care and tenderness expressed through words actions and body language from their lover. A smile, wink of an eye, or a written letter from one’s lover can make her happy, even if in the grand picture she’s not happy with other aspects of her life.

Environmental Aspects:
Sometimes we are not able to control the world in which our happiness can grow or diminish. Family or career issues can strain a lover and create tension that is unwelcome and often destructive to new relationships. Those that have positive environmental aspects, such as a supportive family, or an anticipated change of location are significantly more happy than those that are stressed out by these factors they remain powerless to evade. This is why it was a valid concept to include in this article, even if the “happy vrs. unhappy” due to social or physical surroundings is obvious.

In conclusion, Love and happiness are things we as humans cannot control, there’s no method to make someone fall in love with you, and it’s impossible to fake true happiness. But the more we understand these reasons of the heart, the more we can identify the feelings in ourselves. I hope these words have inspired those that may be confused, in love, unhappy or simply submerged in the joys of human emotions.

~Rayne/06



Article # 89

As children we are taught the difference between right and wrong. These morals are engrained in us by parents, faith, and society. It’s wrong to steal and lie, it’s right to obey traffic signs and study honestly for tests. However the Division between right and wrong are no longer considered law of humanity or society when dealing with the tribulations of the heart. What is right and wrong and when is a Person right or wrong for you?

Black and white often do melt into gray when emotions are involved. All of a sudden there are no set rules. How do you tell if you’re in the right relationship? What are characteristics of a relationship that’s all “wrong”? And how in the world can anyone analyze anything similar and come anywhere close to a logical explanation? There is what most define as a sixth sense that gives you that ability to just “know” who’s right, that feeling one seldom gets in a lifetime, but is extremely powerful none-the-less. A perfect relationship is the union of two separate circumstances and balances them evenly. These Elements are Person and Timing.

People, Personalities and Prerequisites: There are multiple factors that can be grouped together to describe how one person is “right” for another, and the combinations are endless. Some people refer to the Zodiac calendar and actually avoid certain people due to surprisingly accurate character predictions. Some people date inside their social or racial structure, others don’t. It’s a true flip of the coin if extraverts and outgoing people settle for introverts and serious souls. These are some of the things that contribute to the reasons that one person will fit right with another.

Every relationship has ups and downs, twists and bumps, how else would it be considered a journey anyway? There’s compromise in everything and I say this because no relationship is ever promised “perfection”, even if both parties are completely and accurately matched. The element of emotional movement is important here, as a couple, each person has to adopt the desire and the ability to move a little so suit the traits or actions of their partner.
What doesn’t bend, breaks.

Timing, Trials and Tests: The second most important issue couple with “Person” would be the stage at which these two people meet. In today’s society most of us go with the progression of age, and tend to date within a few years younger or older than ourselves. This is primarily because we want to grow with a person that’s going through the same life-stage. There is also a pattern of relationship trends that people go through when it comes to ending or beginning relationship with new people. The “Rebound” is a common label, and each person in one’s life does serve a purpose, but the genuine purpose and reason that a particular person has come into the life of another is defined by yourself only. This means that some settle with the person they’ve acknowledged as a sort of “rebound” relationship.

At a young age, teenagers date and learn, discover and create their ideals, and what they want out of a partner. It’s said that around the 3-4th relationship will grow into a much more serious union. These are general statistics, and not solidly the norm. The more people a person has been in a relationship with, the more they’ve learned, the more they’ve discovered about their own personality and what types of people they mesh with.

~Rayne/06