21st birthday speech for my son

Early December I received an email from Alun advising the date of his 21st Party – YOU MUST COME MUM – He said

Turns out what he REALLY wanted was a speech! – So – for what it’s worth Alun – my speech.

First of all a huge thank you to Daryl’s parents for helping to organise tonight’s party – and especially Muriel for playing surrogate Mum for me – I know Alun is most appreciative of all the work you have done to make tonight a success.

I have known Alun for a very long time – no that’s not right that’s what a friend would say.

I have known Alun since he was born – no that’s what his father would say.

Mmmm – The truth is I have known & loved my son since his conception.
There were those few weeks when I just KNEW I was pregnant – But I wasn’t sure ? Such a mixture of feelings. The breathtaking news confirmed by our Doctor.

Telling Douglas – telling my parents – telling Mum & Dad Bain – I remember it all.

Alun your memory may not be as good as mine but I clearly remember the conversations we had in the nine months before your birth!

Douglas played all sorts of music for you & we faithfully attended antenatal classes like all anxious but excited 1st parents.

We were lucky to know an incredible Lady called Mrs Dobbie who gave us wonderful insights into birth and parenthood. She also read my future in my palm – I remember thinking at the time it couldn’t possibly come true – I am sure she would not be surprised to know – it did!

The less said about the labour the better – but the moment of your birth - now THAT son was one of the two most special moments in my life – and the most significant in yours!

Douglas will speak for himself but he was pretty overwhelmed at the time as I recall.

It would be nice at this point to say you were a lovely baby & rave on about how good you were.

However Douglas will confirm you had NO idea how a baby was supposed to behave.

We should of known from the very beginning you would be a non conformist.

Sleep was a foreign word to you – and for us! I once abandoned you in your pram & walked to my mothers. She collected you and gave me a little respite – and a BIG lecture.

At this stage you are probably all thinking – GOOD GOD she is going to cover EVERY year of Alun’s life – well let me tell you all – I could!

I remember every memorable moment in your life Alun – at least all the ones I know about!

When you cut your 1st tooth
The day you 1st walked
When you began talking - & then you never stopped!
Your 1st day at school.

Getting the photos out for Daryl was a wonderful trip down memory lane.

You were very young when Douglas & I separated. We both worked very hard to give you the parental support you deserved & though your childhood was far from ideal you certainly gained a larger than average family and more than your share of Grandmothers!

I suppose if there is one thing you remember about your childhood it was moving!
You are no doubt grateful only your mother possesses Gypsy blood. Imagine what it would have been like if you had to remember your father current address also!

We always had a rule about any activity you wanted to try – you had to agree to complete a full season or term before trying anything new.

Forgive me if I miss any but I recall :

Rugby, Gymnastics, Swimming, Athletics, Horse riding (OK that was MY idea)
Bike Riding, Triatholons, Tennis, Stamp Collecting, Violin

None lasted to two seasons.
I’m not sure if this is a reflection of your versatility or an indication of your staying power!

You did enjoy & continue to participate in School theatrics, theatre sports and youth group.

The scouting movement gave you the opportunity to attend a Scout Jamboree.

When you believed in something you were formidable.

The way the world and particularly NZ was dealing with waste disposal was of enormous concern to you and when you were only 11ys old you organised a recycle collection in Hikutia.

Looking back it is hard to imagine an 11yr old having the resourcefulness and courage to get the Mayors of 2 large regions to co-operate with you and busy farmers to take time out towing trailers to collect the rubbish.
You managed to convince your class to help sort it at the hall & ended up making extra money for the school as well.

The Community Award you received was unique as no other commendation had the signatures of two Mayors.

The reporter who interviewed you for the paper was very impressed with your knowledge and maturity.

You followed this up by becoming a vegetarian and stuck with this philosophy until flatting made it too difficult to maintain.

You enjoyed a stay in Trafalgar near Melbourne in Australia on a Twin Exchange & we, in turn, had Ben to stay on the farm. I think Ben found Waiuku college a bit hard to cope with but enjoyed farm life.
You, by contrast, loved Australia & didn’t want to come home!!

The following year we took a one way exchange & Tamara came to stay.
We see her occasionally & she is always interested in news of her NZ brother & his mates.

One little story that clearly shows your wit (at least I hope it was wit!) happened when I was ill with leukaemia and the specialist had recommended a marrow transplant. As my son you were a likely donor.

I was explaining the procedure to you – I thought quite simply so as not to scare you.

You sat very quietly for a while and then said – I am adopted right Mum ? !!

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was leave you in New Zealand when we came to Australia.

I have always tried to let you be independent and make your own decisions so I could not & would not attempt to change your mind.

That decision has led you on many an adventure over the past 4 years – some good – some bad, but all part of helping you become the person, the grown up, the remarkable individual you are.

So : The sleepless nights
The town out searching in Helensville while you were at the beach
The silver paint on Grand-dad’s chair
The trips to hospital
Cars catching fire
Cars over cliffs – and all the other little dramas acted out over the
Past 21 years have been worth it.

It is lovely to think of Alun & Daryl sharing a party tonight & that many of their school friends are helping them celebrate.

You see Alun – they know what your father & I have always known.

You are intelligent, witty, ethical & loyal. A steadfast friend, a loving sibling and I am privileged to be able to call you my son.

My only regret is that I am not there, in person, to read out this speech.

But if I was I would only cry & spoil the party.

SO – Everyone – Charge your glasses & drink a toast to my son Alun & to Daryl – 2 Waiuku School Chums celebrating Adulthood tonight.