Behind the window

I’m sitting inside my room, in front of my closed window. I like to watch the night

from inside. Even if my room wouldn’t have any walls I’m sure I’d feel exactly like

now: I’d feel that there is something which separates me from the outside world. The

real walls are inside me. They make me feel so distant. I’m trapped in my little

imaginary room. I try to get closer to the real world and in the same time to remain

in mine; so, with a great deal of courage, I open the window. Suddenly a breeze of

warm air enters in to my room.


I’ve just realized that I can’t live in two worlds. Although I am very scared, a part of

me doesn’t want to close the window again. I say to myself that it’s all right if I stay

just a little bit with the window opened... After a while, under the effect of the serene

moon I reach the conclusion that there aren’t many differences between the two

‘rooms’.


I get closer to the window. I can feel the fresh night air running through my lungs. I

reach with my hand a shadow of a branch that seemed to reach for me. The

boundary between my worlds gets thinner and thinner. The walls are beginning to

fall. But the real walls, the big ones… the heavy brick walls are still there. I stay

behind the window for hours.

It felt as if I stayed there for a lifetime, or perhaps that’s what I actually did… for an

old life (time).


In the morning, when the first ray of sun gently fell upon my face and woke me up

while I was sleeping with my head on my window, I thought it’s time to break away

and I opened the door. Finally, I got out.


Before I did anything else, I went to my window and watched my room. It was the

first thing on my mind. I wanted to see how it looks “from the other side”. And thus, I

somehow I found myself again behind the same window but this time I was outside,

living a whole new life.


Time has passed since then and now, on complete daylight I see things more clear

and I think that if I stayed in my imaginary locked room I’d bee freer then I am now,

in my room... with the door opened.