Watch His Feet

Written for "The Writer's Cramp" 
Prompt: Write about receiving a most embarrassing birthday present.

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It was my birthday, the big five-oh, and my law partner had arranged a party at a local restaurant to celebrate. With a name like Prudence you would think she would be, well, prudent. Not a chance. She was amazing in the courtroom in front of a jury, but the rest of the time you never knew what to expect. Usually if she thought it she said it or did it.

Me, I was more restrained. Some friends maintained that I should have been a banker. After all I had the gray suit, gray hair, and gray face. I'd learned over the years that image was significant to a jury. If you looked serious and trustworthy you don't have to justify or support each statement you make in court. The results in many trials are as much about truth and justice as it is about perception and "stage" performance.

Pru and I are criminal defense attorneys. We try to be selective about who we chose to represent. That isn't always possible since we also serve as court appointed council.

Mark Twain wrote a short story about the most effective ways to lie. The top three are; base your tale on the truth, only tell part of the truth, and let someone else's assumptions be seen as the truth by not saying anything. We insist on the raw, naked, and unadulterated truth from our clients so we know what we have to deal with in court. That doesn't mean that we will reveal that truth during a trial. We won't lie, but there are always those times that I'm glad I'm not the one under oath. It is often a fine line between perjury and how you present the truth.

Anyway, back to the party. Prudence was on a roll. A couple of glasses of wine had lowered her inhibitions. Not that she had many to start with. Calling for everyone's attention, she stood to make a speech. We were all rapt as she could tell quite a tale. I was worried because this one would be about me.

Well, she started with the old joke about how to tell if a lawyer was lying. Are his lips moving? Pru then explained to one and all that that didn't work for me since I was a regular performer in the local community theatre. That was the secret of how I had learned to "act" so well in court. Now came the kicker. Turns out that when I'm "dancing" in count my toes are tapping. I didn't even know that about myself.

I guess that we should have looked to see who else was in the restaurant. As Prudence took her seat, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. It was Judge Reinhold who was presiding over our current trial, and there wasn't a jury to impress this time, just him. He thanked us for making his dinner such a pleasure and said that he'd be watching my feet during closing arguments tomorrow. I was quite embarrassed.

There was nothing for it. The trial would finish and I was sure we had lost this one already. At various times while the final statements were being made, Prudence would reach under the table and put a hand on my knee. The judge could see this and was smiling slyly. I was confused because each time she was "restraining" my leg I wasn't dissembling or dancing at all.

Well, it turns out we won the case. I have no idea how it happened, but we did. As I was putting the files back in my briefcase, Prudence leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Sorry I embarrassed you last night. You don't really tap your toes. I saw Reinhold listening during the party and had an inspiration. Good thing I did since it got us the win. Happy birthday."

Word Count: 646