Trial by Heater

For years I would ride the Beeline Bus regularly through Larchmont, passing a familiar shopping center along the way. One day I noticed a grand opening sign in one of the storefronts, something called Bikram Yoga. The sign was bright red and the letter “Y” was made to look like a stick figure doing a kick stand. Intrigued, I made a mental note to look them up online. Even though I found their website almost immediately (www.bikramyogalarchmont.com), it wasn’t until last month that I finally gathered some courage and money to take a class.

I once held the misconception that all Yoga was just Yoga; ancient breathing and stretching exercises combined with meditation. Through research I’ve come to appreciate that there are many different styles of Yoga and Bikram Yoga is a new twist on an ancient concept. Named for its creator, Bikram Choudhury, this style of Yoga is comprised of 26 postures (called “Asanas”) and two breathing exercises performed twice back to back over a 90 minute session. Oh, and did I mention the heat? What really sets Bikram apart from the rest is that the Asanas are performed in a room heated to over 100 degrees.

Upon entering the establishment, I was met by Jean, one half of the married couple who co-owns the business and teach the classes. She instructed me to take off my coat and my shoes and helped me to register. Registration consisted of the usual form, asking for full name, address, telephone number, date of birth, and any medical conditions or injuries. I also had to sign a waiver stating that I had seen a doctor within the last 6 months (which I had) and was cleared to perform vigorous exercise. The form also stated that by signing, I would not hold them responsible for any injury or death (yes, death) that might occur after taking a class with them. I had to read that line a few times because I had read that Bikram yoga was strenuous, not fatal. I made a mental note to be especially aware of how I felt throughout the session and not push myself to hard. I took a breath and signed.

About 10 minutes and $30 later, I was signed up for the new student special; One week of unlimited classes including free use of a rental mat, and complimentary towels. A washcloth is provided to wipe off sweat, and a large bath towel is provided for covering the mat to prevent slipping and sliding during the Asanas. I changed into my Yoga gear, a sports bra covered by a cotton tank top and stretchy cotton cropped pants. I was instructed by Jean to then enter the studio and pick a spot closest to the door to set up my mat.

As I entered the dimly lit studio, I was greeted by the soft sounds of instrumental music and a stifling, dry heat. Fighting the urge to flee, I took a deep breathe of hot air and got busy setting up my mat. A handful of other students were already in the studio and engaged in various activities. Some were flat on their backs in Savasana, or dead body pose. Others were gently stretching and practicing their moves. Unsure of what to do, I sat awkwardly in the center of my mat, focusing on the gently wafting sounds of flutes and strings and trying not to be anxious about what lay ahead.

The room quickly filled with students of all ages, shapes and sizes, from high school students to grandparents. Class began when Jean entered the room and said, “Watch your eyes everybody, the lights are coming on.” The overhead, fluorescent lights flickered on to reveal a wide rectangular room with two full walls of mirrors. The floor was covered with gray carpeting, of the kind typically found in office buildings. A small platform at the front of the room, also covered in carpet, was the focus of everyone’s attention. Jean would stand on this to conduct class.

Jean introduced me to the class and gave a final word of advice, to listen carefully to her instructions before attempting any of the postures. It was then that someone noticed I had no water bottle with me, a huge no-no in Bikram Yoga as the intense heat can cause dehydration. And dehydration can be fatal. Luckily a variety of bottled water is available on premises, so after a brief embarrassment and quick run out to the front desk, I was fully equipped and class could begin.

The first posture was a standing breathing exercise. Basically you stand up tall with your feet and legs pressed firmly together, lock your fingers as if in prayer, and hold them firmly under your chin. Sounds simple enough, but because my legs are slightly bowed, it took a moment of fidgeting to get my knees to cooperate. Once they did I found myself pitching forward and had to adjust again, consciously shifting my weight to my heels to keep from leaning like the tower of Pisa. Not to mention that I couldn’t properly get my arms in front of me because my breasts seemed to get in the way. Getting the pose right, however, turned out to be the least of my troubles. The breathing exercise itself would prove a bigger challenge, and it was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

Jean’s husband, Dave, who was participating in class that night, demonstrated what the proper breathing technique should look and sound like. He inhaled loudly and slowly, sounding like someone gasping for air in slow motion. As he did so, he raised his elbows skyward (fingers still laced under his chin), until his arms resembled birds wings. He inhaled for what sounded like an eternity before beginning to exhale and lower his elbows back while his head gently dropped backward. The sound of his exhale reminded me of Darth Vader’s, but louder and much, much longer. These are the sounds of a pair of human lungs completely and forcefully filling and emptying.

And so began the first of thirteen standing poses. After the first, sweat was already seeping through my clothes. To my own surprise, I managed to keep up with class better than I thought I would, observing the others and ever vigilant for Jeans instructions for proper form. It wasn’t all sweat and grunt work, though. Jean and Dave are also amateur comedians. At one point Jean asked the class to look at her husband, Dave as he demonstrated a complicated move called Standing Tree Pose. “Doesn’t he look like Sting?” she asked, and a giggle went around the room. The first 45 minutes seemed to fly by.

It wasn’t until Savasana (dead body) pose, the first official chance to lie down, that fatigue and self-doubt kicked in. At that moment time stood still, and the musky smell of sweaty bodies in an overheated room was too much to bear. I was desperate for cool air, a shower, and a cold drink. On the verge of tearful defeat, I remembered something my boyfriend always tells me; you’ve got to get your mental game together. He’s talking in terms of football, his favorite sport, but it’s helped me through some hard times. I took a deep breath, acknowledged my anxiety and shaky muscles, and firmly resolved to keep going. If I made it this far I could make it to the end. The rest of the poses would be on or close to the floor, with Savasanas in between. And there was always the option to throw in an extra Savasana or two if I really needed it.

The important thing is to perform the postures as correctly as possible, and stay in the room for the entire session. As every other student in the room that night had different levels of experience, there was no competition, no race to the finish line. Only what each individual knew they were capable of at that moment in time. There was a definite collective feeling of intense concentration in the room. And concentrating on how my body was moving was what made the time fly by in the first place. Throughout the session Jean would say, “Look at yourself in the mirror, this is where you are today. This is what your body can do today.” There seemed to be an implied question, and I half expected her to ask “where will you be tomorrow?”

As the session drew to a close, the lights were dimmed once more and everyone could stay in Savasana pose for as long as needed. I took that time to reflect on everything I had just been through over the past hour and a half. I felt literally raked over the coals, but in a good way. Not only had I accomplished something, I surprised myself along the way. When it comes to all the things I can’t do, I have a laundry list of items ready without too much thought. But when it comes to what I can do, I have to really stop and think. At that moment I felt like, if I can do this, I can do anything. I tapped an inner strength I never knew I had. I felt that not only could I take control of my health, well-being, and life in general, I genuinely wanted to. Gone was the anxiety, depression and general uncertainty that had haunted me for months. I knew exactly where my body would be tomorrow, right back here for another session of Bikram Yoga.