The Fundamental Why

I am not a God fearing man. I have fears, but they do not center on that which is capable of bringing order and sense to chaos and anarchy. My fears lie with spontaneous malevolence and selfish disregard. The kind of haphazard mayhem that seems to be the kind of thing that a creator god would be incapable of inflicting upon its environment, and certainly not on that which it has labored to bring into existence. The God that I believe in is the kind of creature that I have a need to love. One that is careful, deliberate, thoughtful, and consequential. The kind of being that I can depend on, and not one prone to emotionalism or irrational excitability. This god of my devotional focus is not a construct based as a result of my personal need for such a god to exist. This god is based on my particular observations of the world around me and the world within me, and my own understanding of what it would take to craft such a complicated and self sustaining organization of cause and effect, the blending together of so much that seems so disparate in a way that establishes a critical need for every tiny instance of material introduction, with that introduction manifest at the precise moment of critical need. A random coming together of serendipity could be the scapegoat for such a manifestation once, twice, maybe even a million times. That would still only answer the tiniest fraction of the larger question of how this is and continues to be. Still, the question that burns within me is, for me, a much larger question than how. With my personal certainty of the existence of an intelligent and deliberate creator, the only question that haunts me is the question of why.

Humans have stated with authority that God's ways are beyond our understanding. Isaiah writes "For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." { Isaiah 55:9} I'll accept that I am incapable of being able to understand the vastness of thought of a consciousness capable of conceiving and then crafting such an enormously intricate construct as this that we exist within. What I can't accept is that the motivation behind such an endeavor could be so incompatibly simple and human, and so utterly contradictory to what seems to be the fundamentally deliberate nature of the being responsible for it all.

You glimpse the soul of the artist when you examine the work. A painter's choice of shape, composition, color, subject, even the brush strokes, give important clues, to the careful observer, about his or her personality. Even simple handwriting exposes many aspects of personality to the trained examiner. A musician betrays his or her character with each note that is played. Even the most gifted actor can only offer a performance that exists within the specific range allowed by their fundamental character. How could it be any different with a personality as mature, as deliberate, as precise, and as consequential as the one that brought our own existence into being? The very magnitude of what has been created demands a personality that is developed and defined to the point of being absolute...at least in relation to anything that we, as fleeting examples of random intelligence, could ever adequately conceive of. To be succinct, the creator that is responsible for what we know of ourselves and our world would have to be a very well defined personality. And that being the case, this creator's personality would be powerful enough to be extremely evident when carefully examining the work it is responsible for bringing into existence.

The search for God's personality is probably best accomplished not by going back and reading the writings of people who lived during a time when viruses and bacteria were magical, and who were psychologically vulnerable to the physical strengths and weaknesses that paraded before them, and within them, on a constant basis. This could seem heretical to suggest, but I have always thought that to best understand God, one needs to go forward toward a greater human understanding of the world around us, as opposed to going backward, toward the thoughts of people who completely misunderstood themselves and their world, searching for the metaphoric significance of that which we know to be false about reality as it is now understood. Fundamental truths concerning truth, decency and evil are not affected by the settings within which we discover them. That cannot be said about concepts related to the description of existence and reality. Reality's description is updated regularly in this world of scientific discovery, and truth is relative to knowledge. The truth of the nature of who and what God is, is inextricably fused to the truth of what constitutes the nature of physical reality in exactly the same way that the personality of the artist is fused to the creation of that artist. Physical reality is the artistic expression of God. It is God's fingerprint. Who God is, is described by what God has done.

So, who is God?

The first thing I'm not going to allow myself to fall into is the notion that I can intellectually surrender myself to anyone else who has ever asked this question, or even assume that this question has already been answered by the oral traditions of ancient men roaming through the deserts of the Middle East. It's not arrogance to assume that I have a better handle on what constitutes physical reality than any of those ancient nomadic men could have ever had, and I also do not see it as arrogant to desire my own ability to examine the available evidence of God's work lying before me...and possibly God's personal expression within that work. We fail when we refuse to think. We fail when we abdicate our responsibility to search for the truths that are scattered all around us. We fail when we blindly accept the notions of those who have the personal need to convince us of their beliefs. Being incapable of uncovering the truth is one thing. Being unwilling to even concern about the truth is something entirely different. I am concerned about the truth, and even if I am incapable of uncovering it, I will examine the evidence scattered all around me and come to as much of the truth as I am capable of. I can't...and I won't...allow anyone to define reality for me, and certainly won't allow anyone to define the nature of the one that I believe crafted that reality. To me, that is the height of intellectual and moral irresponsibility.

So, who is God?

If I look at all that God has left as evidence of its character, I am first drawn to the intricacy of all that has been crafted. Nothing is out of place, and if it seems to be at first blush, it doesn't take much to find...upon deeper analysis...where the anomalous fits nicely within the whole. All that is, is tightly engineered and immeasurably layered. The finest details have not been overlooked or ignored. Even the most invisible flourish, seemingly impossible to be appreciated, has not been held back from this masterpiece. The mind of that which conceived of this reality is genius from the largest, most sweepingly enormous to the tightest, most inappreciably intricate...and every level of detail that exists between the two. This is the mind of a perfectionist. An obsessive. If this mind were to be in the apartment next to yours, you'd be concerned about the neighborhood. This is not an emotionally affected mind. This is a very strict and disciplined mind. This mind is unforgiving of itself, and holds itself to the highest standards imaginable. There is no almost with this mind. There is only an ultimate and demanding yes.

If I look at how this physical intricacy is interdependent upon all other physical intricacy for its very survival, I see a mind that is not only detailed, but is expedient. Nothing just is. Whatever exists is demanded of, with nothing extraneous or frivolous. If there is beauty, that beauty is beautiful for a specific purpose, and if examined closely, it doesn't take much to realize why that beauty is critical to that which is beautiful, as well as why that beautiful is essential to the survival of the whole. A mind that engineers as essentially as this is not a mind that is given to self indulgence. This is a mind that sees function, and forms to serve that function. This personality is not extravagant or superfluous. This is a personality that does not go with the flow or make it up as it goes along. This is a very serious and studied mind, with no personal tendency to rash decisions. To create such a perfectly interdependent construct, demands the kind of focus and attention to purpose that immediately rejects the reactive.

If I look at the pure innovation that bases the reality that surrounds me, I become aware of a highly sophisticated creativity that not only finds the most economical solution to a need, but also finds a way for its creation to enjoy and desire that solution. The fact of color, and of sound, the concept of fragrance and tactile appreciation. As fundamental as these things are, they have a usefulness and a critical contribution to the survivability of all that we are and all that we know. Does color exist? Of course it does. The fact that we can recreate the blue of an October sky is proof that color does indeed exist. Is it useful that we can appreciate color? Look at a piece of meat or fruit that has been sitting out too long and you tell me. I would say that the same goes for our ability to appreciate the odors that are generated by that which exists in our world. The air that surrounds us feeds us the gases that we need to live. The skies that open up on us from time to time provide us with the water that we need to live. The plants and animals that share our world with us, provide us with the nourishment that we need to survive. All beautiful, and yet all essential. Nothing wasted, and yet presented in the most enduringly wonderful manner. When was the last time you became weary of a cool breeze on a hot day, or a deep blue sky after a needed rain, or the taste of a cool drink of water when you were thirsty? There is much pleasure in the basics of survival in this world. The mind that crafted this is a mind that thinks deeper that it needs to about what it is crafting. It is an extremely responsible personality. One with an abiding concern for that which it has created. What God has created in support of this construct, tightly integrated into the core fabric of the construct itself, betrays a very obvious and determined stake in its survivability. The success of the whole is clearly paramount in the mind of this creator. This is not a passing fancy, or self indulgence. This is an project of supreme importance for this crafter. The fact of how the basics have been so positively and creatively amplified to ensure a higher level of functionality and dependability is evident that this engineer cares deeply about what happens to this creation, and that it has a very personal investment in whatever becomes of it.

I look at this whole thing and I see a personality with depth and brilliance that is beyond merely unimaginable for any human being that has ever existed. Humans need to feel that they can be at the top of whatever food chain there is that could impact them. This likely stems from an insecurity that seems like it should be natural in anything that is intelligent enough to be aware of its own finite nature. That said, it seems ridiculous to try and put the entity that crafted all that we know of existence into a category of intelligence that we could somehow identify with, or even entertain with our presence. Or even satisfy with our unwavering devotion. As if we could envision a being as vast, while at the same time as minute, as the creator of all that we know of reality being eternally fulfilled with having human beings bowing before it forever and ever. Fellowship is not about adoration. Fellowship requires equity. Humans are not equal to that which created them. The very fact of having been created demands that humans accept the supremacy of the creator...and not only in the sense of accepting that this creator is the boss. Sadly...at least for the efficacy of the available range of officially sanctioned theologies concerning God's ultimate plan for humans...it goes well beyond that.

"For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." { Isaiah 55:9}

As Isaiah implies, God cannot be eternally satisfied with humans in fellowship any more that humans can be satisfied in fellowship with single cell creatures that we grow in Petri dishes. Human beings are not potential gods, held back only by the temporary bonds of physical limitation...as is believed by the few that have realized that the immeasurable intellectual gulf between God and human beings will make true and satisfying fellowship impossible for both. There is no evidence of that being the case at all, and wishing it to be so does make it so. So, can a human being ever become equal in wisdom and knowledge to God? Look around you. What human being will ever be able to have an intelligent discussion with the being that imagined and then engineered all that you see? And even if one such human were to someday exist, what happens to the rest of us? Do we all just get to live in the house as pets to these two massive intellects, eventually bonding more with each other due to our shared experiences on earth and common intellect, fueled by our growing emotional separation from the one who created us as we grow to better understand that which makes it impossible for us to ever become close to it. The more you think about it, the more this version of heaven begins to resemble its own version of hell.

Does this seem like the kind of end result that a mind as brilliant, as careful and as pragmatic as God's would fail to imagine?

Maybe the problem is not with God's plan. Maybe the problem is with what we've arrogantly decided to be God's plan. Maybe looking to ancient men, with visions of what paradise would be like for them...plenty of food, gold, adoring servants, relaxation from hard work...for our definition of God's personality and plan, and not looking to what we've learned for ourselves about how unsatisfying it can be to have all of that without anyone of equity and parity to relate to and share existence with, has skewed our fundamental understanding of what a being like God could want from all of this. Is God a being that is unaware of the differences between itself and us? Not likely. Is God a being uncomplicated enough to just exist without a need for peer intellect and a deep understanding from a companion entity? If so, why would God have created us in the first place and have shown so much personal investment in the project? Is this just a game...a past time...with God merely wasting time seeing how it will all turn out? Well, if God is eternal, that eternal nature suggests that in God's perception, there is no time...which begs the question of why would God waste what does not, for God, exist?

So, in the end, we can see that God is a clearly developed and defined personality, with an obvious disdain for trivialities, half measures, and waste. It's evident that God is functionally focused, no nonsense, and expedient to the extreme, while dedicated to that which has been designed and developed to the level of true devotion. It is also necessary to acknowledge that God is in possession of depth and breadth that exceeds any human capacity to appreciate, let alone match in true and lasting fellowship. And yet, God has created us within all that exists around us, separating us just enough from all that surrounds us...in an unmistakable act of deliberate physical and psychological isolation...to result in our looking to it for direction and ultimate fulfillment. The fundamental question here, after even the most cursory examination of the facts, seems to be an overwhelming why?

I guess that's a good question.