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Rated: 13+ · Other · Death · #1178407
Diary entries of Hanaka as she is unknowingly being taught to become a ruthless killer.
Chapter Four: Not Just For Xmas


          [28th March. Year 2]
          Hiya, this is me, Hanaka! I got this new book for my birthday! I finished my old book so Senshi bought me this! :) :) :) :) :) Can you believe it? I’m seven already! I’ve been living in this new home for two years now! Senshi is really nice; it was his eighteenth birthday a couple of months ago! I still don’t have very many friends but that doesn’t matter coz I have Senshi.

          I never really know what to say to him to be honest, he’s like my teacher, my daddy and also my bestest friend! Sometimes he can be really serious and then be all nice and friendly! I like it more when he’s all nice, coz then he helps me and sometimes even lets me cuddle him. I don’t cuddle him often coz I don’t usually get the chance.

          I don’t know why, but sometimes Senshi goes away. Its really annoying when he does that, one day he’s here, and we’re playing, or he’s teaching me how to throw stones at birds. Yeah that reminds me, I don’t go to school here, well I kinda do, but its weird school, I learn maths and science, but they are all really weird stuff. Instead of 2 plus 2 or something its all about working things out, and what does this mean if I do this and then change the direction of this into this way, and what it makes and stuff! And the science, its not about animals and stuff, its about things inside us, like… what parts of our bodies are really sensitive and what could break really easily. While at other times I’m learning how our bodies work and about blood flow. These people are like, super, super obsessed about blood!

          But anyway, sometimes Senshi can be here, and acting like he will always be here, and then the next day! He’s gone! Its like… WHAT?!?! I want me Senshi!! L Sometimes he vanishes for one day, sometimes for a whole week. And also… whenever he comes back, he is always moody.

          Oh wells, he’s great fun and I really like him. He’s always supporting me, and stuff. I’m really enjoying my time here. =D Well, its getting late now so I better get off to beddie-byes.


***


          As young Hanaka slept, curled up on her bed, hugging a pillow tightly, Senshi sat in an armchair, watching her. He couldn’t believe what he had been told earlier that day. He just could not believe what this girl was. How… how could it be? She seemed so peaceful, so calm and tranquil, it couldn’t be. Yet if she were, if what he had been told was true, what possibilities would be open for their organisation?

          Senshi breathed deep, this was mind-boggling. But still… what had they done? What had she been involved in? And moreover, why did they have to tell him?! And why… why were they going to start again? How could they? Senshi’s hands tightened on the arms of the chair, his knuckles were white.

          Stretching his legs, Senshi stood up and walked slowly and quietly towards Hanaka’s bed. He watched her sleeping, a slight frown creasing his smooth face. He was watching her chest, rising slowly and heavily, up and down… up and down. So simple, and yet so much work was being put into making it happen.

          The door to the room opened, sending a bright orange light stretching across the room. Senshi watched as these shadows grew large in the light caused by the door and he saw Yariman walk into the room, accompanied by Jameson and someone else Senshi didn’t recognise.

          “Ah, thought you might be here Senshi,” Yariman said. Since Hanaka was first brought, in, Senshi has only seen Yariman once before, not much had changed over the past two years, a few more grey hairs, and his shirts were beginning to stretch slightly round the middle.

          Senshi didn’t say anything; he didn’t have anything to say, to any of them. He looked at Jameson, whose eyes weren’t on Senshi, but on sleeping Hanaka. Take your filthy eyes off her… Senshi thought angrily, he had spent two years taking care of this girl; he was going to prove what he was better than what people thought of him. And now that he knew what this girl actually was…

          “I wanted to speak to you about something.” Yariman said, walking forward. Jameson’s eyes were still annoyingly fixated on Hanaka, while the other man was slipping his hand into the inside of his blazer pocket.

          “Oh…?” inquired Senshi, uninterested, still staring at the man whose name he didn’t know. Yariman walked closer, Senshi was now taller than him, yet he still somehow looked powerful and threatening slightly.

          “Yes,” Yariman continued, “Its about Hanaka, about how you are raising her.” Senshi blinked, he had maybe been expecting an assignment, or perhaps a complaint at maybe the efficiency of his last assignment… something to do with an assignment! But not Hanaka… in a way, Hanaka had rather been Senshi’s own little secret. The adults very rarely saw her, she mostly stayed in her room, writing her diary, or drawing on the wall. She would seldom ever go down to visit the other children; she hardly took part in any of the teaching. Oddly because she didn’t really need to; all her aiming skills, reactions and instincts were perfect… much too perfect for a seven year old in fact, but Senshi had always considered her a rather special person.

          “Its simply…” Yariman was saying, “This girl… you know what she is, don’t you?” there was an uncomfortable pause, in which Senshi checked the strange man he didn’t know up and down for weapons.

          “Yes.” He said firmly, “Well, I know what you’ve been willing to tell me.”

          “And thus, all you need to know.” Yariman said. “Listen, Senshi, this girl is growing up too soft. She’s very…important, and we can’t have something as vital as this, can’t have the… shadowed devil and the plan that centres around it, being messed up.”

          “You sound like a crappy-written B-movie character.” Senshi said, staring hard at Yariman. “What’s next? Are we going to have to commence operation B minus five doubled by two and what the hell are you doing?” for the Jameson and the other man had suddenly raised their guns, aiming right for Senshi.

          “Boy, you have no idea what you are getting yourself into.” Yariman growled; “If you knew even a tenth of all the planning, the work, the time and energy that has been put into this operation… no matter,” He handed Senshi a plain white folder. Inside were many sheets of paper, all coated with official looking print and several black and white pictures.

          “Read this,” Yariman whispered, “You’ll know what to do.”


***


          [29th March. Year 2]

          Senshi’s being really weird today; He’s all in a mood, I think. I dunno really, I can’t really explain it properly; he’s kind of not being as nice as he was yesterday, or the day before, or whenever.

          He’s just being weird, he took me out into the garden, he didn’t say anything on the way there, or when we were out there at all! L He hardly talked at all, and when he did, he seemed all moody with me.

          And then he sent me on a run around the field. He kept making me run and run and run! Then I had to do this whole big athletics course, it was really hard and annoying. I was so tired when we finished.

          But there was something nice about today. While eating my lunch, I met the new boy, his name’s Ben… something. He’s really sweet and he’s only a year older than me! We played football outside, until he won and I threw the ball into his face, only it was a blown up ball, so it bounced of him and hit that mean Jameson man! J But then he got all angry at us and burst the ball L. He’s mean, and he also… always seems to be watching me! ITS FREAKY!!


          [12th November. Year 2]

          Its like I said last night, I was right! Again! This is just getting so hard! Senshi doesn’t seem to want to hold back, he cut me today! Dodging flying Frisbees is fine, catching flying china plates is harder… but still ok. But he’s throwing knives now! They’re not very sharp though, so that’s ok. But still, it’s scary.
          But there was something I was wrong about. Well… kinda… anyway. I got a puppy today! A real live puppy! I dunno why, Senshi just gave it to me. He’s so cute! I named him Mulder! He looked a lil bit like David Dookoffnee (but not as cute :):):):) ) so I called him that, even if I haven’t ever seen that X Files TV show.
          He’s really fun to play with! He kept running around, and Ben really liked him as well. They kept playing fetch, until some horrible person who was a lot older than us, but still not a grown up, first shot the stick while it was flying in the air, and then shot at Mulder with his semi-automatic! Bit mean, but ah wells, I bet I’m gonna be like that when I’m older as well LOL!


          [14th November. Year 2]

          Mulder was really funny today, he’s a Labrador puppy, and he looks just like that dog on the Andrex adverts! And I think he’s really taking a liking to me, he sleeps on my bed now, and he’s like a fuzzy hot water bottle! He lies on my feet sometimes, but then licks them in the morning! Ewww! But still he was really fun, like today, coz I didn’t have any training today, me and Ben just sat and watched Mulder run around the field.

          But the best part was something else, cos while Mulder was running round and round in circles; me and Ben were chasing him round and round, well, Mulder suddenly ran between me and Ben, and we both fell over!

          And then… and then… Ben kissed me! Not on the lips, on the cheek!!!!!!!!!! It was so amazing, we were lying next to each other, when he was about to stand up, and then he kissed me! I was like… woah!

          It was amazing though! But then Jameson came over and yelled at me for something, and looked like he was about to hit me. I dunno, it was weird.


          [25th November. Year 2]


          Hey. I’m bored. This puppy… he’s too happy, he’s getting boring. He’s like… always in my face. Yap yap yap! Bark! Bark! Bark! I dunno… I hate people who get bored of their pets straight away, like in that Christmas advert about dogs not being for Christmas, but for life (and its getting really near Christmas as well) but still. I’m always busy now, and the training is beginning to get heavy.
          I still don’t know why I’m learning like this, about agility and reflexes, but I was reading about Japanese Samurai, wandering samurai. Who had been trained from very little to be sword fighters, never for any real purpose I don’t think but still trained a lot and then went away. Sometimes they fought in wars and sometimes they didn’t.

          Anyway, I get really tired and Senshi’s moods really get me all stressed (I learnt that word today funnily enough). And coz I’m stressed, my work gets stressed, with then stresses other people. Ben was a little bit stressed with me today as well, I didn’t mean to make him so stressed, it just happened.
          But now I’m too tired to be all nice and happy for the dog. He’s always wanting cuddles and I just don’t want it anymore. I don’t care. I just don’t care. All that matters now is me getting through my training. That’s all that matters now. I’m trying so hard not to let my stress get to me and affect my work. Senshi said that I’m the best of my age and one of the best of all those under fourteen. I don’t want to lose being like that. I don’t want to.


***


          “It’s been six months. How is she doing?”

          “She’s doing fine.” Senshi answered, looking over the desk at Yariman. His young face crinkled in a frown.

          “And the second part of the operation?”

          “Working perfectly.”

          “How’s she adapting.”

          Senshi sighed. She was adapting fine… brilliantly, in fact. She was ahead of schedule, ahead by miles, months, whatever. But he didn’t want Yariman to know this. Closing his eyes in a silent prayer, Senshi pulled out a small book from his back pocket. Hanaka’s diary.

          Yariman took this silently from Senshi; he browsed the first few pages with uninterested eyes. And then he started to skim down the slightly ruffled pages to where the paper got smoother, thus the more recently written on pages. As Yariman’s eyes ran down the most recently written page, they became wider and more and more intense.

          “Brilliant.” He said, snapping the book shut smartly with his fingers. “Did you know that she’s actually ahead of schedule, miles ahead? Did you know this Senshi? She’s so far ahead, beyond anyone else. She really is perfect. So perfect in fact, that I think we should commence the third operation in five days time.”

          Senshi blinked. “Five days? Sir? Are you sure? It wouldn’t even have been a month.”

          “It will be the perfect time.” Yariman said defiantly, blowing out a gust of smoke from his cigar. “Just promise me one thing.” He said, laying a hand on the desk before him and looking at Senshi over his glasses. “Don’t hold back these next five days.”

          [1st December. Year 2]

          I was told something today. I’ve just been told something. Apparently things aren’t working out. And that… that… I have to get rid of the dog. It was an order, from… from Senshi.

          He’s ordered me to kill my dog. Apparently the dog’s been holding me back on my work, and the work is more important than a dog. A dog…

          I don’t know what to do. I mean yeah, it’s a dog, just a stupid dog, that’s all! But… I can’t kill a dog. Why can’t we just get rid of it? Well, Senshi said that the dog would be a “hindrance” to everyone else. That… the whole thing… It was part of my training.

          How is losing a dog going to help me in dodging knives?! L it was a stupid idea in the first place! This whole training thing! I hate it! I hate it! I don’t know what to do!!

          I tried to find Ben, but I couldn’t find him anywhere! He had suddenly vanished! But I know he’d be exactly like the others, he’d tell me to do it. I can tell. I just can. But I can’t kill Mulder! What should I do?


          [2nd December. Year 2]


          Mulder was buried in the field, below my window.


          It wasn’t my fault. This morning I woke up early, and tried to smuggle Mulder out in my bag. But he wouldn’t stop barking, he was scared inside the bag, and he knew I was scared too.

          Senshi heard him barking. At first he was angry, and yelled that I should kill Mulder right there… in the middle of the corridor at 4am. But then he softened I think, and started being nicer. I think he would have even tried to help me get Mulder out alive, if he had had the chance.
          Jameson heard us talking and knew what was going on. I tried to run the moment I saw the gun in his hand. He chased me out into the field; Senshi chasing him.

          Jameson grabbed me and I dropped my bag with Mulder in it. Mulder tried to run away but Jameson shot his gun. Mulder was shot in the leg. I could see him bleeding, his whining. He was crying, he was a puppy, and I was his mummy and he needed me. But I couldn’t get to him.

          I remember trying to save Mulder; I remember struggling with Jameson. It was hard, really hard. Jameson kept shooting but I kept making him miss. I tried to bit off his hand. I couldn’t explain it. Couldn’t explain how I felt. It was almost like I was watching myself fight Jameson. Like I wasn’t really there.

          Senshi stopped Jameson. And Senshi gave me something. I couldn’t describe the air around Senshi when he did it. It was like… silent dignity. He handed me a syringe, in it was this green liquid. As soon as I had that piece of glass in my hand, I knew what I had to do.

          Mulder was a sweet and kind animal; I didn’t look after him enough. He was always so happy and I was never good enough, I didn’t react to his playfulness the way he had hoped. But I’m glad that I was with him. I don’t care how corny I sound. Mulder got to die peacefully, with the pain of the wound in his leg being gone, and I got to stroke his fur as he lay next to me. I got to be the last thing his saw as his big brown eyes closed.
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