Confessions of a real-life dreamer

The moment I was out of my mother's womb, I always wanted to be on top. I wanted to excel in eveything. I wanted to be perfect. Looking at the mirror, I see myself as a girl who thought that she could achieve everything in just a single snap. A girl who thinks that life is easy enough.

As a little girl, I was often asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I always say, "I want to be a princess-a doctor-a teacher-a writer-an actress..." The list seemed to go on. It's true that I want to be everything.

In school, I get A's and B's- but my classmates seem to get higher grades than me. I ask myself, 'Why can't I be like them?' I always wanted to make it in the Dean's list. I make sure I am.

When browsing the world wide web, or simply reading a good novel, I easily get jealous. I wanted to become a good writer as they are. I want to write and be an award-winning author. I write in my old used notebooks, dreaming to see one of my writings in one of those prestigious bookstores.

The fashion industry also influenced me. It made me realize my passion for designing. I want to be a world-renown designer, and own a posh fashion botique. When I go to coutures, I always tell myself, 'I can improvise this...' I dream of waking up in Paris, a fahion capital city, hoping to see my designs and ideas come to life.

The world is too big for such a silly girl who want to be everything. It disagrees with my dreams. It tells me: I can't be everything. And it's probably true. I can't be everything. I can't be perfect.

That made me realize that I had to leave my dreams behind and start living in reality. I dream of so many things, yet I forgot something. I forgot my heart. I was so busy in fullfilling my dreams, that I didn't realize that I need not to be an over-achiever or a perfectionist to appreciate my life. I hadn't realize I have my family and friends who were there all along.

Maybe, I can't be a real-life barbie doll, but I am thankful that I always have one thing that barbie dolls and busy overachievers and perfectionist don't have: A heart that can love and find contentment despite of the countless dreams.