Today, Yesterday, Tommorrow

Today- you were here, but theres
still so much anger and hurt. Why?
Why? Why cant i be done? Why
cant i be like her, hard, no emotions,
no crying, no feelings? Why does it
have to be like this? There has to
be something more. There has to be a
love thats so real you fall into
its grace only to not fall out again. There
has to be an emotion so strong,
so real that it grabs and never,
never lets go. Its harder than the
most impenetrable steel; yet when
you touch it, it folds and molds to your
skin forming itself so completley
with you that it holds and
engulfs you...a comfort...a blanket...
a tragedy...that you cant even begin to
comprehend.
Forever is unfathomable.
Tommorrow with you here is unmistakable
yesterday was such a whirlwind
pulling and tugging. it was dragging you
further and further down until
you were on your knees and was only then able to
pull yourself back together.
As the tissue began to
heal, the concrete began to
harden and the blood began to pump
again...the warmth returned...warmth...
why? How? A cool breeze begins to
flow hardening the resolve.
you reach out and
suddenly realize that your floating on
a sea of clouds...you feel heavy
too heavy...you look around expecting
to see a 2 ton truck strapped
to your legs but only see smoke.
Something with an amazing power
lifts you higher with ease. A scream
is almost able to escape your lips
but a calm river of serenity opens itself
up to you and fills you up to
the brimming point. A peace you
dont understand blankets any doubt
you have. As you turn to look up
you see nothing...but ah...oh...if you
could see the...Pain...the suffering
being endured. Youd understand.
Youd understand the empathy...
Youd understand the forgiveness...
You would feel again...the hapiness
which you know...would return again...
It starts off with a small
ray of hope and flashes, pulses, and grows
a millimeter...Yet as it grows the
cold darkness also swells up around and threatens to
choke it off. Does she know that
he hurts when shes around? Even though
shes great...shes more than he could
have wanted. Yet why is he searching
for more? Why do his thoughts...
when hes heading forward...why do
his thoughts lead him back...
when in his dreams shes there.
is it possible.....