Giving Thanks with Grandpa Joe

“All right, everybody hold hands. Let’s begin by going around the table and telling something we’re thankful for. Then I’ll ask the blessing. Okay? Mary, would you start please?”

“I’m thankful for my family, and all of my many blessings including having you all here. Tommy, how about you, son?”

“I’m thankful for the turkey who gave his life for us. (Snicker.)”

“Cody?”

“I’m thankful for…I dunno, Mommy. Spiderman, I guess.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what I’m thankful for. I’m thankful for Jack Daniels, may he rest in peace. I’m thankful to be sitting at this splendiferous table on this ostenstatious occasion. I’m thankful for the liberty we in this country all enjoy, the liberty to say and do as we please. I’m thankful that I can be so magnanimous in this privileged place, and have the freedom to invoke the Almighty, so that we may proclaim our allegiance …”

“Grandpa Joe, that’s enough. Let’s go on. Jody, what are you thankful for?”

“For my friends, and my dog Chumley.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m thankful for Chumley too. He isn’t just your dog, Jody!”

“Here, here. Let’s not bicker on this munificent holiday. Let us lift our glasses and have a drink of this copious spirit. A toast, to the intoxication of life! This is our day to thank Him for the elixir of joy with which He decks our halls, for the festivious fellowship….”

“Grandpa Joe, let’s let Sarah have her turn, okay?”

“Dear God, Thank you for…for…Why is everybody looking at me? I don’t like everybody looking at me...Thank you for my friends, and my dog, and my grandma and grandpa and…”

“That’s good, Sarah. Emma?”

“Does it have to be something different? Can’t I just say what Sarah said?”

“You can say the same thing if you want to.”

“Okay, the same thing.“

“That’s not fair! She should make up her own things. “

“Mother, what are you thankful for?”

“I’m just thankful to be here.”

“And I’m thankful the Cougs are winning.”

“Me too, Dad. And you, Aunt Margaret? “

“I’m thankful that we got here safely, with Joe driving. (I'll be doing the driving on the way home.) And that the turkey was properly thawed this year so we won’t all get sick.”

“Ah, yes. Almighty God and Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for our health and strength and daily bread, and turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce, although Thou knowst I don’t care for cranberry sauce…”

“Grandpa Joe, I’ll finish up, if you don’t mind.”

“Well, all right, Carl, but I’m perfectly capable of offering a resplendent prayer that is rich with somulent…”

“I’ll be thankful when we can eat, Pops. I’m hungry.”

“Dear God, Thank you for all the goodness of our lives. Help us to remember to count our blessings every day, and to treat each other with love. “

“Yea, God! Let’s eat! Amen!”