Glory's Road

Gloria strattles the toilet backwards, using the toilet tank as a table top. Carefully counting as she adds droplets of urine one by one to a home pregnancy test. Even with the exhaust fan on and water the running the sound of her pounding heart is echoing in the small apartment sized bathroom.

She jumps as her children begin banging on door and pleading to come in. "Three minutes" she shouts over their cries." just give me three frickan minutes"
Suddenly there it is, that extra blue line that no single 23 year old mother of two needs, wants or can afford. "oh my god" she sighs heavily. " what am I going to do"

"GIRLS" she screams over their whaling, as she unlocks and opens the bathroom door. "STOP IT"

Facing her are two small children, both with light brown curly wild hair swirling around tear soaked fire red cheeks. Mandy the oldest is five and her half sister Julie is three. They are hungry for both dinner and Glory's affection. It has been a long day at the baby-sitters for both of them. Glory lifts the smallest child onto her hip and takes Mandy by the hand. "lets eat" Glory says quitely as she leads them to the kitchen.

Later that night both children are asleep in bed with Glory. She is watching as their eye lids dance around and their small chests heave and fall with each breath. The light from the bathroom illuminating Mandy's sweet tender alabaster skin. Tiny little Julie is snuggled with her pink bear between the two of them. "My pretty little baby" she whispers as she brushes the curly locks away from Julies eyes.

She knows that another child would only make hard times harder. The thought of someone, even another baby, taking away anymore of what little they had made her mad. She worked long hours every day but, could only provide a one bedroom apartment, in a sleazy, drug dealer infested neighborhood. They didnt have much, a few clothes kept in laundry baskets, an old used couch from Good Will and of course Glory's full size bed she had since childhood.

Glory knew she had a horrible choice to make. Having another baby would mean less of everything for the three of them. She was all alone in this, there wasn't a husband or a boyfriend around to help her with girls, let alone another one.

Glory had decided not to tell Joe about the baby just yet. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him. He wasn't the kind of man you raise kids with. He was fun for her to visit once in a while. She had a good time drinking and partying with him while the girls were visiting their dad, but it certainly wasn't a serious relationship. In fact it wasn't a relationship at all.

How could I have done this to my girls? How could I have been so stupid and jeaporadize everything these girls have? How will I over come this, What am I going to do. Should I try and keep my baby? Could I live with abortion? What about Adoption? A million questions raced through her head, but not one answer. Finally she questioned herself to sleep.




************* illi's prgrss in work, not yet finished, may take some time nov 2006