My Judgement Day

My Judgment Day
Rick Adam Youngblood



I was Eleven years old when for no apparent reason I began having this dream. Even at the time I felt that something important was happening to me. The Dream was very real, intense and detailed; the experience soul-shaking and unforgettable.

Rarely has a day gone by (and it’s been about 34 years ago now) that I haven’t thought about it. It’s had a profound and lasting effect on me in many ways and has greatly influenced my life; my thinking, how I view the actions of others, and mostly how I look at my own thoughts and actions. None of this should surprise you after you have read the Dream; though I don’t expect it will have the same effect on you, here, years later, in the light of day…

The Dream, I expect, will have many interpretations. Some may think it’s just a simple recurring nightmare of a young boy, others may see it as a my minds subconscious message, and some may feel as I do that it is much more…. Whose opinion is right…?! I won’t try to tell others what to believe of it, I can only tell you of It, and let you decide what, if anything, it means for you.

Even though the Dream is still very clear in my mind, it has not been easy to put into words an experience that has no equal for me in life. I have not taken any liberties with writing this; I have recorded it just as clearly and as accurately as I am able.






____________________________ This is the Dream: ________________________




I find myself floating in what appears to be ‘outer space’. I look down and notice that I can see through my body. I realize that miraculously I now have a spirit body and no longer just a physical one! Naturally I think “Wow, this is Cool! I must be dreaming” But I notice that somehow it just doesn’t feel like a dream. Curious now I look back up and around thinking “Where am I?” As I do, I hear a calm gentle mater-of-fact voice, that is both in my head and all-around, say “You are in the center of eternity”






Surprised and disturbed by this ethereal reply to my unspoken thoughts, I look around again - more closely now - and I notice that there are no planets, no moon or any stars; there is nothing out there as far as my eyes can see. Then; without any conscious thought to do so, my mind; my awareness, begins reaching out: I'm feeling and sensing with my mind, attentive to every molecule of space, searching for anything. With super human senses attuned to the search, further and further out I go, faster and faster, looking everywhere, missing nothing. Faster than the speed of light my mind races out in all directions at once, until I have covered an impossibly great distance, greater than any hundreds of galaxies I have ever known or could even imagine, and I find nothing. There is nothing here, nothing anywhere; just a vast, dark, empty universe…!
Realizing that it is useless, I pull back into myself.

I am alone, in a place that to my knowledge does not, and can not exist! And now the shocking realization hits me that this is real, without any doubts, Wherever or Whatever ‘This’ is, it’s not just a Dream, This- Is- Real!"

Stunned and confused, I think, “How did I get here and how do I get out.”? I have no answer—I just sit there now starring out into this endless ‘nothingness’, feeling numb, lost and very much alone.

Moments later I am no longer alone... From outside this “reality” I feel the coming of a very powerful and evil being, as he squeezes through the fabric of time and space, the rift sealing instantly behind him. He is ‘in here’, with me… I can’t see him, but I can sure feel him, way off there in the distance, and I instantly know he has come for me...

Then, I again hear a voice; his voice, but unlike the other calm voice this one is through clenched jaws, quivering with rage, dripping with malice; he hisses “I have been waiting for you for ever, and now, your mine” As his message rings in my head I see an image flash in my mind of ‘him’ confined to his own dark 'nowhere' alone for ages and ages, hating and waiting for just this day; waiting to bring his vengeance upon me! With this knowledge of such an evil hate toward me, (What could I have ever to to him?) I am now frozen in terror, breathlessly waiting for what may come next.

He pulls back his energy; I can no longer feel him, but I know he’s out there, watching... I wait, watching back, not moving or even breathing... All is quiet and still, and I wait...

Then, long moments later, the silence is broken. Way out in the distant darkness, I see a tiny little light gentle flare up, accompanied by a soft faint sound like a heart beat; “Bomp—bomp”. Both quickly fade away, back to darkness and quiet. Again the curious little light and sound pulse and fade away. Then again, and again. “Bomp-bomp_Bomp-bomp” With each pulse it’s a little brighter and a little louder; beating a little faster, and getting a little closer.. I am almost hypnotized by it all, lulled into relaxation by the rhythm, when all of a sudden I realize, it’s him!"He’s coming for me!" And now he lets me feel him again as he abandons all restraint, lunging for me mentally and bodily, pulsing and burning with such blinding fury that it staggers my senses. I now flee, in a full-out panic, flying backwards, arms wheeling, legs kicking, crying out, trying to escape this insane terror !


Faster and faster I propel myself backwards, sailing far back into the endless void; and he keeps coming. Louder and closer and brighter he gets, his hate-driven might soon building to beyond my comprehension, as he has grown from a ‘gently pulsing-beating light and sound far off in the distance’ into a massive raging firestorm of pure evil screaming down on me! I‘m now rocketing backwards at what seemed to be the speed of light, but possibly he is still gaining. He is right in front of me when the sickening fact hits me; "I can not out run him, because there is nowhere I can go! Somehow, I-am-the-center!" ...?!!!?

He is towering over me now, with only yards between us. I know I am about to experience a death far more savage, more agonizing and brutal than any “Living Hell” anyone could have ever imagined, and there is no-way-out …! I throw my arms in front of me, and in that last second before my destruction, I cry out with all my heart and soul ”Oh God Please Help me!!!”

Then… the entire scene vanishes…!

I find myself sitting quietly alone (I don’t even recall the beast from just moments before.) I am poised as I soon begin to see my past life unfold before me. I’m seeing it and experiencing both at the same time, and in three different ways, three different ‘me’s’. I am reliving it just as I was the first time I lived it. I’m also the ‘me’ now, watching the first me. In addition, there is another ‘me’ outside apart from the others, somehow wiser, watching; It is a me I haven’t known yet (?),

My past life continues to unfold in quick clear segments. I am completely immersed in the process. As each segment passes, without thinking what I am doing or saying, I simply and naturally pass judgment upon myself. For some things I think “Good” for others I think “Bad”. This continues uninterrupted from one scene to the next, from one year to the next, and doesn’t stop at the short life of an eleven year old but goes on for many years past my then age of eleven.

Eventually I realize that I have seen my whole life to it’s’ finish. Then, with total and pure honesty I say to myself, “I am ashamed of some of the things that I have done, but proud of how I turned out”

No sooner does that thought leave my mind than I am right back to that other scene! The Beast has not only covered those last few yards, but he has actually converged with me! Instantly, I know that he too has just seen and heard everything! My entire life; all that I had done, said and thought, was just open to him! My every self judgment was naked to him! With that stunning truth ringing through my entire being, Whoosh!!! he blew out the back of me and vanished! As he left me, I saw with my minds sight, that he was smiling...(?)

And I was unharmed…

____________________________End of the Dream____________________________
I awoke sitting up in bed screaming, soaking wet with sweat. The Dream kept coming. From then on each time I awoke, I was sitting up in bed soaking wet with sweat, but no longer screaming. The next night I had the exact same dream; not once but twice. The Dream continued on, every night for around two weeks, many times as often three times in one night.

After a few nights I tried not to sleep. I began sitting up in my bed, reading or playing solitaire or what-ever, just trying not to asleep. But I always drifted off eventually, and every time I did I had the Dream. After about a week I was so tired and stressed out that I had to skip school. Teachers where starting to notice the difference in me. Sometimes I would skip just a class or two, but a couple of times I skipped the whole day. I found that if I fell asleep down at the river I didn’t have the Dream (?) but I didn’t discover that until a just a few days before the dream stopped.

Over and ever and over I kept having that dream, and it was always the exact same dream in every detail, always just as frightening and always just as real as the last time. Then just as suddenly and mysteriously as it had started the Dream stopped. I never had that before then, and I have never had since.

And please remember and appreciate , I was only 11 years old...A young man and impressionable... As I write this I'm now 45...

I can understand how others could just brush it all aside as just the active imagination of a disturbed child. But before we do there are some things I have taken note of that I believe lend to further scrutiny.

Please bear with me in your reading this, I have spent most of my life dealing with the echo of this Dream, and I have a lot to show for my efforts. I admit, that given the gravity and surrealism of all this, I may have be lead off the beaten track, I may be blind in many ways, and the worst case scenario I could, now, be a bit crazy, but I’m not a fool . The Dream happened, and it was real.

So and therefore, let’s take a close look at this Dream...

At the time I had the dream I don’t recall anything that could have sparked such a thing: No frighten movies, no traumatic experience, and no major illness, nothing out of the ordinary. I have never had recurring dreams. And, I had never had any other dreams that where this intense or realistic; To this day this is the only dream I have had that felt real and not at all like a dream.

I have read a lot about dreams now and I've found that there are a lot of aspects of mine that are not normal or even rare or almost unheard of.

Here are some the abnormalities:

For many of us, when we are dreaming we know it’s just a dream even at the time, and when we wake we know it was a dream; I usually do, but with this one it felt real even long after it was over.
Most dreams tend to jump around and leave logical gaps; thing or people can just appear or disappear or scenes change from one to another without a coherent cause and affect. My Dream was a complete package from beginning to end; everything in the right place and nothing extra.
People do have recurring dreams, but there are rarely all exactly the same, there are almost always differences. Mine was always exactly the same, from the first to the last, in every detail.
When people do have recurring dreams, but they are often spread out over time, coming here and there, popping up again later. Mine came relentless, coming every chance it had, and then it stopped, and has never come back again.

But regardless of the format and processes of the Dream, it really is the context that is of outstanding nature. And contemplating the true nature and content of my Dream of Judgment Day has led me to many surprising and wonderful discoveries. But then that is another story…