Lonely Old Christmas Lady

The other day I was at this little shopping centre thing, which was really an old Tudor house transformed into a bunch of shops and everything. It's a really nice little place, and it has this little square courtyard in the very centre, like a garden without the plants. My dad wanted to get me a christmas present so I ended up getting ditched outside so that he could go get me something secretly.

So, anyway, I went out to this little courtyard and sat down on a bench. There were a bunch of old OAP's standing out there in one corner, though, playing christmas songs with some bells. They were pretty damn good at it, as well, even though they were so old.

It wasn’t heaving out there or anything, probably because it was so cold, but the people I could see were all pretty interesting to watch. There were a ton of families, all with little kids, probably Christmas shopping same as my dad. The kids were getting all excited because this crazy bloke dressed as Santa was waving at them. It was all kind of nice, even if the snow wasn’t sticking.

The thing was though; sitting on the old bench beside the fountain was this lonely looking old woman. She had a few bags occupying the bit of bench next to her. Nothing else, though. No husband, no friend, no sister or brother. Just the shopping bags. Honestly, she looked lonely as hell…

The shopping bags bothered me too. I wondered, for a moment, what she might’ve bought. What if there were Christmas presents in those bags…and if there were, who were they for? I mean, maybe she didn’t have anyone to buy presents for. Maybe they were just things she’d bought for herself. It really got to me, though, seeing that old woman sitting there on her own by the frozen fountain. I mean, everyone else was here getting Christmas presents and crap like that…but if she didn’t have anyone to buy presents for, what were in her bags? All that the shops had in them was Christmas stuff.

That’s when I started wondering what someone, who has no one, does at Christmas. Do they buy themselves presents and wrap them up anyway? Do they bother with the tree and crap like that? Or do they just skip it all? Maybe they pretend that Christmas isn’t happening. They just ignore the crazy adverts, and the Christmas stuff in the shops. They ignore the lights all over town and the turkeys in the supermarket.

She was watching the OAP’s, who’d started to play ‘White Christmas’. After a few seconds, though, she started to watch a family of two parents and three little kids, also watching the chimers play their song. I just felt really terrible for her, all of a sudden. I mean, what if she didn’t even have kids to get Christmas cards from? I got this crazy image of her on Christmas morning, sitting at home in an armchair, opening cards from the neighbours, because they’re the only people who’d even bother. Not only that, but she’d be opening one of those cards where the sender only writes “Love Marge and George,” or something. That’s something that really gets to me, when people just sign a card and don’t put anything else. Some of them don’t even bother with the goddamn “Dear so and so” at the top. They just buy a card with a printed message in it and stick their names at the bottom.

That’s exactly what was going to happen with this woman, sitting on the bench. She’d be there in that armchair on Christmas morning, all alone, opening a card from the neighbours who hadn’t even bothered with the “Dear”. They wouldn’t bother with the “dear” because this old lady wouldn’t even be dear to them. They’d just give her the card because it’s polite. They wouldn’t really want to give her a goddamn Christmas card.

Anyway, I didn’t really want to think about the old woman anymore. Instead, I just listened the chimers. God, they were doing well with the song. It was sort of moving, in a way. I could practically hear the words to the tune flying around in my head. People walking out of shops right at the other end of the courtyard had stopped moving just to listen. That’s how pretty it was.

I got sort of sucked into the song, right up until it ended. It was that last bit that got me. The lyrics to it are “and may all your Christmases be white.” I could hear Elvis singing them in my head. Then they did this classy ending, and when they were done, the whole courtyard started clapping like crazy. One of the old men on the front of the chimer band started patting his comrades on their backs, grinning like that was the best goddamn performance they’d ever pulled off. Probably was, too.

It was all such a nice little scene…but right there in the middle of it all was the old lady, still sitting alone with her shopping bags. It seemed wrong somehow. God knows why. But hey…I think everything’s wrong. I even thought it was wrong that the snow wasn’t sticking.

Before I knew it, I was walking out of there. I didn’t even wait to see if she’d been waiting for someone. Maybe if she had been waiting for someone, it wouldn’t have bothered me so much. The crazy thing was, I didn’t know what to think. The song made me feel so damn happy, but the old lady made me so miserable at the same time. I half wanted to go over there and just talk to her...but that wasn't going to happen.

God knows why...but that lonely old christmas lady bothered me. She really did.