"don't worry, i love you."

I miss you. I miss the guy I met walking down a grassy hill on that unbearably hot summer morning. The kid who felt like a longtime best friend after only five minutes of conversation, who asked me with a lopsided grin and appreciative laugh "Why didn't I meet you earlier?"

Like old newspaper you've faded from my life, though the memories of us will never leave me. I wish I could play them back for you, they're all so wonderful, I'd hate for you to forget. Do you remember my two-dollar lipgloss? How about last Christmas when you got your fullest taste of it? Raspberry flavored, you said you liked it.

You always made those kind of comments, so awkwardly innocent and painfully sweet. A rush of heat crept over my face, but I'd never known myself to blush. You were the first boy to make me flush poinsetta red, the only one who encouraged me to glow brighter than the ornaments we used to steal off of festive hotel evergreens.

The holiday season is long gone, but I swear I'll never forget the way you looked at me that night, like I was the most beautiful girl you'd ever laid your big brown eyes on. Of course I'd gone to lengths to look good for you, and every second of preparation's worth was validated in that one incredible glance. When you involuntarily bit your lip on sight of me and then put your hand over your heart in exaggerated adoration, unknowingly summarizing all I felt for you at that very moment.

Christmas Eve was months ago and over a year has passed since you kissed me for the first time, yes, I still remember the exact day, September 17th will never be quite the same. It's been a long time since we've even talked, but I've thought of you often. A friend told you I'm still pretty, and I heard you've been looking good yourself. It's sad what we've been reduced to isn't it, nothing more than gorgeous strangers.

Still, no matter how far we wander from where we started I'm rarely without you. I hear your voice in every piano, see your smile in all fireworks, and feel you, forever in my heart, my last dance and first love.