I like that fuzzy glow of an old TV

I have to admit something. I have been having a love affair with an image that I cannot possibly obtain right now. I love that fuzzy glow that my grandmothers’ old television gives off. It is hooked up to an antenna; it even has an antenna connected just like a radio. The image was black and white and there was a lot of static, but isn’t that what was so great about it. I love the way the sound comes tightly through that small little speaker, and I love the way the image bleeds all over it’s self. I often try to cover up this love affair with fancy imagery and high tech tools; but when it comes down to it I love that old crappy image better than anything. It’s authentic; when I look at it I know that it’s not going to lie to me. The images (even though they play whatever is broadcast onto the screen) seem older and wiser.

Just today I was flipping through the channels of that old TV, still getting the signal from the large antenna that stretched above my grandmothers’ house like a monster. Babes in Toyland was playing on the screen it was barely coming through the static, but you could make out the sound. I remembered watching that movie over and over again when I was young with my brother and my grandpa, and there it was like a memory trying to make it back to me through the static. It’s funny how memories can so quickly be restored. I hadn’t seen that movie since I was a child, back when my grandpa was still alive and the TV still worked perfectly. The movie, even though I only watched a bit, made me sad because it made me remember a time back when I didn’t care that the sets were crappy, and the sound effects didn’t match up, a time when I wasn’t so critical.

I don’t know why that movie was on the static of the TV today. The movie was old, made in 1986, and was only a made for TV movie. The television was old, made in 1972, and was a fading black and white. And I am old, made in 1984, and am only a made for TV movie, that hopefully will someday acquire that dreamy, authentic, fading black and white image.