LIFESTYLE OF THE FAST AND FURIOUS

Okay, I can guess what most of you are thinking, “Umm…Interesting topic to write about..” while inside you must be thinking, Poor kid. Hard day at school I suppose…Ah, well its because of the insane people in the world that we are called sane,Ii guess. Hmm…Don’t blame u, but give me a chance. Admit it, aren’t you a bit curious? Are you one of the Fast and Furious?  Well, I am and this is precisely how I manage my time. Lets see if you are one too….

Imagine yourself rushing about the house. For convenience sake( my convenience that is!), we’ll assume that you are a woman….So much to do, SO little time. You get out of the bedroom and walk hurriedly to the kitchen. Put a glass of water in the microwave, set the timer to 6 minutes, then glance at the clock. DAMN, I have to meet the girls at five and its already four! You rush out of the kitchen, sprint up the stairs two step at a time(consider yourself lucky, you haven’t fallen flat on your face!), go to the closet and put on a shirt and jeans. You go to the dresser, put on the necessities, then carefully apply mascara to the lashes…It’s a TORTUROUS process but one you have perfected as long as there are no sudden moments…..BEEP BEEP. Oh look, your water’s heated…..Oh look, your mascara is ruined…You muffle a curse, apply little more make up to hide that infernal mascara, rush down the stairs to  make yourself a glass of tea. Where’s the spoon? The sugar? DON’T TELL ME I’M OUT OF TEA BAG! And OH NO! WHY ISN’T THE WATER COMING OUT OF THE TAP?? Never mind! No time! You run up, grab your purse and keys, and run to the front door……As you take your final leap the door….PAUSE! Didn’t the girls tell you to get that stupid information on that stupid controversy over environmental issues? Damn! You whirl around and sprint up the stairs, FOUR at a time(You are SERIOUSLY lucky, you know) and switch on your laptop. As you go to MSN and click search, you see that Paris Hilton got a new dog….Hmm…Should you or should you not? You are a very ethical person…..You open another window and start reading. You find some results matching(well not really but there’s NO TIME) and you click on one that seems to make the most sense. You continue reading about Paris’s new dog. You finish the article and close the window with a mental snort. Like, WHO would read such rubbishes anyway?? You go back to the result page and
NO, IT CAN’T BE…….PAGE REQUESTED NOT FOUND??!!

You give an inhuman shriek. You're definitely going to have a visit from your neighbour. Already you can see her window’s curtain being moved. You’ll blame it on the attic ghost…You hurriedly shut down the computer, get out of your house, get in your car, thump the dashboard for good measure(In case it doesn’t start, you understand) and with a squeal of tires take off. As you adjust your review mirror, you can see your neighbour in her garden gaping at you. Yup, definitely going to have a visit from her. Better do some grocery shopping so you can offer her something when she comes around needling into your affairs. Least you can do, after all. Will she like the rat poison or the cockroach poison? No, of course she won’t like it! You’ll mix it with the tea and give to her. Maybe then people will get the message to STAY OUT OF YOUR LIFE……..Ooopsy, while continuing your mental tirade you ran a red light and GREAT there was a police man there. You glance your review mirror….He’s in a good mood…LOVELY, You’re definitely getting a ticket. You park your car, get out of it, go to the café and sit in your usual booth. The time? Precisely five!

At five fifteen, everyone’s arrived. As you all start chatting, the last of your girls who came late starts complaining to you. “I don’t know HOW you do it! I always have to rush in the last minute! You, ALWAYS look calm and collected! You seriously have to tell me, HOW you manage your time!!”

You smile and say, “It’s an art, my dear, its an art.”

You are so going to go to hell for lying so shamelessly!


This is how I manage my time. See? Don’t I manage it perfectly? Are you like this? Then, brothers…..uhhh, sisters too….let us all pledge together and teach the world how to live the lifestyle of the FAST AND FURIOUS! It might even surpass the show, THE FABULOUS LIFESTYLE on VH1, after all we have so much to share…….and so much more FUN!