Love is Priceless Part I

Love feels no burden,
thinks nothing of trouble,
attempts what is above its strength,
pleads no excuse of impossibility...
It is therefore able to undertake all things,
and it completes many things,
and warrants them to take effect,
where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Love is watchful and sleeping, yet slumbers not.
Though weary, it is not tired;
though pressed, it is not straitened;
though alarmed, it is not confound

So many of us hope to find such a love, so pure and relentless, yet desperate to please and be cherished. Why is it so hard for some to find love? Or better yet keep the love they have alive? These may be questions, which for me, will forever go unanswered because I am not of the many that have not discovered and held such love. Then again, you can consider me among the discouraged lovers because I too have had to let my love go.
Chad and I were perfect for each other, but that’s what everyone says when they meet the man of their dreams right? Ha! Well, in all honesty, I knew in my heart Chad was the one for me.
I had been working at the local McDonalds for almost a year when Chad breezed his way into the corporation. I was 18 then, filled with my future fantasies and dreams that I hoped to aspire. Chad was 10 years older. He had worked many jobs in his life: construction, secretary, trucking, and Taco Bell. You name it and he’s done it I’m sure.
I had never been on the look out for a lover, I knew in time God would unveil him to me, all I had to do was wait, and I was waiting. I was more consumed with my future than finding “Mr. Right”. Of course my girlfriends and I would joke and giggle and confide in each other about the man we all wished to marry but that was as far as it had gone. Until, Chad began to raise himself higher in the burger-flipping atmosphere where all of us worked.
The day I remember my heart telling me this it the man for me was Valentine’s Day of 2004. All of us relationship rejects worked that day: Myself, my best friend Patricia, and the love of my life Chad included. I remember at one point in the day Patricia and I were on our break discussing what our “Mr. Right” should do for us on Valentine’s Day. Of course neither of us had ever been in a real relationship so these things were quite simple.
“For my gift, he’d buy my a white rose, with a touch of Pink on the tips,” Patricia had said as together we walked to the back to the crew room to indulge in our loveless tails while delving into the next best thing to chocolate available at the time: fries, double cheese burger, and a medium diet coke.
“Let me guess,” I’d replied, “um… white stands for purity. Uh… red is lust. What’s pink? Desire?” Patricia had always been a sucker for symbology.
“It symbolizes the pureness of our love between one another. But through it there is an overwhelming desire to be with each other.”
“I see” I replied as I propped my head up by my hands sighing, “Dinner and a movie would be nice I suppose?” At this moment Chad intruded on our love dreams to join us while on his break.
Patricia and I chatted awhile about love and where our man is out there. Patricia fantasizing a southern boy a “Cow boy” and me… well I didn’t have any real definition to describe him other than “Perfect”.
After awhile Patricia turned to Chad and asked, “What about you Chad, unlucky in love like ourselves?” I laughed and Chad just smiled.
“Well, who is she?” I said slyly. “Mrs. Right?” I joked.
“No, no. I have no one in my life right now.” He responded smoothly.
“Then indulge us,” I prodded, “If you had Mrs. Right waiting for you to get off work today… what would you do for her?”
“Dinner and a movie?” He smiled jokingly.
“Ha ha. No really.” I said.
“I’d take her to her favorite restaurant or possibly the place where we had our fist date. Once seated I’d bring out her gift: A single green rose. The rose itself would be one of the fake ones because it can last for ever like our love. It will be green because it is a color rarely found if ever in a rose, just like the rarity of finding a person like her. Lastly, it will be a rose because roses are a symbol of elegance and beauty as she is to me.
At this moment Patricia and I uttered a soft “awe…..” but Chad had not finished.
“After dinner I would take her out to the ocean front and we’d walk under the night sky.” I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, aching for a lover such as he. “She’d probably want to go dip her feet in the water so we’d go walk along the shoreline. Suddenly I’d take her hand and ask ‘Madam, may I have this dance?’ and then we would dance under the stars in the light of the moon. I’d pull her close to me and whisper in her ear that I loved her and that our love will last forever.”
As Chad finished his love filled story Patricia and I found ourselves with our hands over our hearts and sighing; a longing sigh. After that Chad left to return to work and in unison Patricia and I told each other that we wanted a man just like Chad. 
A man “like” Chad? Why not Chad himself? He was older, a lot older. Why would a man of 28 want to date someone as young as me, of only 18? So I pushed my longing for Chad himself aside and made all other men have to measure up to someone just “like” him. I bet you’ve already figured out I came out of my search empty handed.
It wasn’t till after my senior year of high school did I actually start getting to know Chad even better. I was 19 and finally on my way to pursuing a life long career. My best friend Patricia and I had gotten Chad into going to seeing movies with us. Then we started hanging out at little friendly get together movie nights, and then finally it was just Chad and I hanging out. We’d sit in his apartment and watch movies, go out for ice-cream, and sometimes we’d just talk for hours. I felt myself longing to be with him, thinking about him. But then I’d snap out of my trance and shake those “dirty” thoughts away. He’s 10 years older, I’d tell myself, 10 years! He sees you just as a friend!
I had to keep my desires for Chad locked tightly away inside myself. Not even my best friend Patricia would know about these feelings I was having, other than I wanted a man like him.