I am a child

It’s been years since I have been happy. Sometimes I feel like the only way I am going to feel happy again is if someone takes care of all my problems for me, Until every problem I ever had has gone away. That seems selfish to me. But it’s the only thing I can think of that would make me feel better. I am starting to think that I hate being responsible for my actions. It’s too hard to tell sometimes, weather I feel that it’s a selfish thing to do or healthy thing to do. It’s not because I see others getting away with not being responsible. I think it’s mainly because my brain just can’t handle all the stress of being responsible. I am like a child that just wants to have fun and never grow up. When I tell people that, they tell me you have to grow up sometime. But I am addicted. Is there a process for relieving these addictions? If so what would they tell me? To stop playing all the time, and save play time for after your responsible duties. But I can’t think that way. Not when there is so much fun to have in such a small amount of times. Then people suggest I have ADHD. That fun is always distracting me from my responsibilities. Well ya, the medication helps. But it only helps me concentrate. Not to want to do my responsible duties. If only there was a magic pill or drug that could help me be responsible. If only there was a way for me to realize that the solutions is as simple as growing up.