The Title is Hers

        When I came here I was of course in a different state of mind.  I was in Austin.  The place where many of my current dreams and feelings were born.  The monument where I discovered that magic was real and dreams do come true.  The birthplace of new thoughts and visions that I never knew existed.  It was where I was born and I had just discovered a most fascinating girl.  A girl with mysteries abound in her personality that I craved to understand, and it is strange to look back and write this----attempting to bring forth those past feelings that I owned for her.  The wonder and the bedazzlement I felt replaced now by a comforting bliss.
        The girl took me upon a mountain walking up stairs that led up to heaven.  She let me see a place which will forever be a feeling I could never feel again without her.  I remember the anticipation of what was to come between us while in that moment and took in those city lights with a dawning sun painting the sky.  We soaked the moment and let it run through us with no end in our minds.  We were free in that heaven and it began our experience together.
         She left me at my destination.  A popular diner with the perfect amount of early morning business adding to its already enriched memory in my mind.  All I had was my thoughts and Hemingway to shield me from the bitter cold outside.  I ate my breakfast, read my novel and began on my way with an anticipation I remembered from a different past and as I stepped outside into the world I knew I felt those memories drug me and I became drunk on them.  Those feelings of something greater and visions of skies and treetops where even cracks in the sidewalk were beautiful.  I was alone in the town once again where my dreams were born and as I left the diner I did not know what to expect from life or the day except that of greatness and wonder.
         And through my walk up and down this life I met people and faces and wondered how they came to be.  I pondered their past and what of their future I thought.  “Would they know me if I showed them?” running through my mind countless times.  And most often I was right when they did not, but oh for just a note it makes the world more alive when one finds someone who does!
         As I walked I thought of my girl and I thought of me.  I thought of the early morning night turn blue and paint my city dawn.  A slow indigo caressing every inch of my thoughts.  Not deciding where to go I wandered the empty campus of The University of Texas and witnessed an even greater feeling of raptured isolation between those stone walls.  Besides the students in suits floating by with a curious eye directed in my direction every now and then I was alone with the clouds and the treaded gravel beneath my feet.
         And The Cold.  Oh the cold as it stabbed my fingers and my skin.  I remember it being unpleasant at first with my body being used to comfort and as I walked and as I journeyed it became one with the beauty I felt and I embraced it.  The cold was my blanket to the comfort I felt before and it was the air and it was the life that I wanted to be in.  With the air came the cold and I loved the biting and the fear of frostbite on my toes.  I came to love the wind freezing my lips for the kiss I was to give to her later in the day. And I came to love the fact that I loved and I realized in the colds greatest connection that I did love it all.  And I did love it all.
         
        I was up all night while riding talking and learning from her and though life had awakened my soul that morning my body was tired and required rest.  There was no coffee shop around in sight so I settled for a plain McDonalds to recover my well spent energy.  I drank coffee and visited Hemingway once more on the counter table looking out the window and the people coming in.  There was a homeless man or traveler, of which I know not, reading a novel by Thoreau.  I did not disturb him for people reading Thoreau do not want to be disturbed. He did not care that I was there or the book I was reading.  He had his life and saw enough to be satisfied and his satisfaction was the coffee, Thorough, and his time.  I left him but I left him with my love and respect and I will always remember him as someone I believe really lived.
The day was drawing to a close and the time for my girl and I to be together once again drew near.  The moment of the day that I longed for with hopes of her capturing what I felt inside.  She came with a friend to get me and we laughed and ate together.  She and her friend had the duty of getting an apartment for the upcoming year and I realized then that she was going to go for good and I would love her more in the days to come.  She was leaving for Austin to live and I was not going with her.  She was supposed to be a dream until she left and nothing more, but life does not always turn out to be so easy on our emotions.  I knew from the drive up to Austin, the mountain, and the laughter we shared in later days that I waking up would lessen me. 
        My girl and I decided to leave Austin that night and I found that in our solitude, when only life was our companion did I feel most alive with her.  No normal social interactions did justice or could compare to being alone with my girl and I knew then that that’s all I wanted.  I only wanted to feel what love was like again.  I wanted her and life as she and it were the same.  Joy, happiness, bliss, laughter, wonder, love, passion, emotion, belief all joined in those moments we shared.  It was the end of our time together and I rested and thought of what was and dreamt of what was to be, and through those moments that my girl and I shared together I pondered our lives and how they met.  I thought of fate and perfections, and all the while wondering if it mattered.  Who is this girl that has conquered my thoughts and my feelings.  Who on earth could have that power.  I pondered love as what moment such as the ones we shared could be but that….what moment as our lives flee from us.  And so as my life flees from me and I ponder what I had to make it worthwhile I will always have this moment.  This moment in which I felt truly alive.