Wake-Up Call

Wake-up Call

Ted Lozier had lived nothing short of a Puritan lifestyle since he married the girl of his dreams, Ali Rhymer. But Ted was more than ready to get back to the land of the living. Ali had left more than a month ago and with the lack of productive communication between them, Ted was chomping at the bit to get back to the land of the living. More than a few friends had invited him out for that sympathy drink or the you-don’t-need-to-be-alone dinner. He was ready to take the next friend up on his offer.

Thursday afternoon, Billy, a fellow salesman, invited Ted to have drinks with the “Sales Floor Gang” on Friday at a small dive on Hampton Street.

"It is a wonderful little bar.” Billy alleged. “Lots of girls – college girls.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. All you have to do is throw a little cash their way, and they are eating out of your hands.” Billy advertised.

“Well, I don’t know about that, but count me in.”

Ted spent the next 24 hours fantasizing. College girls – he loved college for one reason – College girls. In 24 hours, he would be able to relive his college days even if it was only for a few hours. To be carefree for a few hours, he missed that.

After an endless work day, he was finally ready to race to the bank, cash his meager paycheck and head for the bar. He knew that he would have to have a few drinks to get primed for a night that held endless promise. He would never admit he spent hours in front of the mirror practicing his lines and looks in the mirror. He wanted to ensure he wasn’t going to walk away empty handed.

“Where are these girls, Billy?” Ted demanded as he took a seat at the long table the “Sales Floor Gang” had staked out near what appeared to be a shabby dance floor.

“They will be along.”

“Did Bill promise you girls?” Mike chuckled.

“Yeah!”

“Not until 9 or 10, dude. You got a while.” Snickered, a mechanic Ted only knew as the “Mexican.”

Ted was not prepared for hours of drinking. His previous Puritan lifestyle had rendered him out of shape for this kind of imbibing. He began to get nervous. He definitely did not want to fall victim to early intoxication which would only interfere with his plans to take advantage of a young coed.

Round after round was purchased, but Ted handled it as a pro. He dropped out of several rounds as he involved himself in serious rounds of pool, darts and poker. But his mind wasn’t on the games in which he participated, it was on the clock. He checked it every 20 minutes.

In the hours that crept by, Ted had modified his daydreams. Instead of settling on just the “willing”, he had now a mental picture of his fantasy girl. She would be a Jessica Simpson look-a-like.

In the final hour, the married men ramped up their partying efforts as their curfew was rapidly approaching. They challenged the rest with Miss-A-Shot-Drink-A-Shot Pool. Ted was already slightly impaired as he consumed more than his limit for the month in the hours after work. He missed shot after shot and consumed shot after shot.

But Ted was saved by an angel in white. She floated in off the street slightly after ten o’clock and landed at the table next to the pool table. Her tanned body appeared unnaturally healthy in her tight, short dress. Her long beautiful legs only appeared longer and sexier in her black stilettos. Her brassy blonde hair bounced about her shoulders as she turned her head to make eye contact with Ted. She light a cigarette clumsily as she was clearly trying to appear older and more mature in Ted’s mind.

Ted couldn’t resist a minute longer. He approached this goddess with, “I wasn’t aware angels got a night off.”

She quickly replied, “I am not an angel, honey.”

“I was hoping that you would say that.”

And the night was off to a flying start. Ted bought her a drink, listened to ramble about classes and demanding professors. He even tolerated her less-than-attractive, older friends. When he thought that he could not handle another minute of this endless dribble, he stole her away for a dance.

“This one from my days in college,” he whispered in her ear as they swayed to Aerosmith’s I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing. She giggled like a school girl. He pulled her close and whispered up a silent “thank God” for his good fortune.

They left the bar arm and arm at one o’clock. “Your place or mine” was quickly settled with an invitation to his new apartment. She ambitiously accepted with another firm, moist kiss.

He admired her eagerness as she raced him across town. They arrived in the parking lot of the apartment complex in what seemed to be seconds after they left the bar. Ted remembers being attacked right after locking the apartment door.

* * *
Ted awoke with a smile on his face. The sex was incredible as he remembered it. He rolled over to kiss his princess good morning, but she was gone. Shocked, he listened for any sound. He heard bacon frying.

Could this get any better?

She was in the kitchen making him breakfast. This was incredible. He decided to surprise her in the kitchen with a good morning kiss. He slipped on his boxers and headed down the hall. He rounded the corner of the kitchen only to see a 50 year-old, blondish gray head woman standing in front of his stove in a white dress.
He stared at her blankly.

Where was his princess?

She noticed his obviously disappointed stare and reply, “You think you are disappointed. I went to bed last night with Tom Cruise.”


Word Count 986