Gaon and Moreh

On the distant planet of  Konkerors, the military analyst are interested in finding new weapons to assist them in their conquest. In Vormonth 10945 (equivalent to Earth July 2006), their chief of staff Moreh has sent their best scout Gaon to planet Earth to gather new ideas. Here is an excerpt of Gaon’s report.

Gaon:  You see, now I begin to understand

Moreh: From what you told me until now, I must admit that their behavior is rather non-sensical

Gaon: I agree, but, if you take the biological factor into account, the cease-fire agreement is simply brilliant on the part of the Hizb’Allah

Moreh: What do you intend by “the biological factor”

Gaon: You see, their reproductive system implies that a woman can, at best, produce one child every 9 months during a period of  about 30 years. A male, on the opposite, can impregnate as many women as his stamina allows. I would say, given perfect conditions from one to two dozens per day. Of course, that is presuming ideal reproductive conditions that rarely happen on the ground. As it happens, their women produce an average of 7 children. Statistics for males are harder to determine short of DNA analysis, but, as Muslim society allows for polygamy, the reproductive rate of males can be adjusted to compensate for their scarcity, if the need arises.

Moreh: And how does that explain why the cease-fire is a stroke of genius on the part of Hizn’Allah?

Gaon: Well, first you have to consider the relative reproductive rate of the West compare that of Islam.

Moreh: Yes, we all know that the most blatant consequence of democracy is a catastrophically declining natality rate, even to the point of failing to reach replacement level. Yet, I still fail to see the link with the agreement.

Gaon: You remember, of course, my astonishment in finding out that Hizb’Allah fighters routinely took shelter behind their women and their children, therefore endangering the future generations of fighters

Moreh:  Yes, and your parallel surprise at the value the democracies give to their women, whose reproductive value is close to minimal, and to their children who only start being productive in their twenties – that is, if they ever become productive, as the bizarre system of unemployment benefits allows all theoretically productive adult to be a burden for society.

Gaon: Precisely. In addition to that, democracies have developed this bizarre concept of ‘romantic love’.

Moreh: What is that?

Gaon: Well, I don’t quite understand it myself. It goes like this. Due to the degenerecence of their society, democracies have lost all respect for the strengthening of their tribe. Actually, they have even almost completely lost the will to conquer territory.

Moreh: Yes, I remember, you told me that it had been replaced by efforts to extend their ‘sphere of influence’, though I still fail to grasp the exact meaning of it.

Gaon: Indeed, it is quite complex, and I still struggle with it. However, the parallel to that peculiarity of theirs is that they are utterly convinced that, given enough ‘good will’, all humans could live side by side in peace. They reckon that, with the combination of progress of technology and that mysterious ‘good will’, they could even render all humans equal!

Moreh: Ha ha ha! Come on Gaon, nobody can believe in something that ridiculous…

Gaon: Well, they do! Yet, if you find that this basic tenant of their faith is

Moreh: Wait a second. You told me that they had more or less lost their faith.

Gaon: I did, inasmuch as faith relates to religion. Having said that if they have lost their faith in god, they strongly the habit of faith, and transferred it to political constructions. They moved from capitalism to communism to socialism, the latest fad being democracy.

Moreh: Yes, I see what you mean. Go on. What is that ‘romantic love’ you were talking about?

Gaon: Mmmmh… It’s quite a tough one to understand… You see, once the belief in human equality takes hold, with the collateral collapse of the need of expansion, the need to reproduce all but disappears. As we have seen, humans grow up extremely slowly and at great cost to their parents. Therefore, there was a need for a new trigger. Short of God, they came up with this outlandish idea that one needed to have sentiments for his reproductive partner in order to perform.

Moreh: I remember you mentioning that. I think that you mentioned ‘Romeo and Juliet’ as a typical example of that deviation.

Gaon: Exactly. Yet, in those days, most pairing was organized with little or no consultation of the individual, according to the best interest of the family, clan, tribe, lineage or country, as it is still routinely done in the Muslim world. As you well know, this was a very efficient way of increasing the power of your own side.

Moreh: Yes, and tribal wars were essential in eliminating the weak and naturally reinforce the most efficient genes. We know that. What about this ‘romantic love’ of yours then?

Gaon: You remember of course that Romeo and Juliet were part of feuding clans.
Moreh: Yes of course.

Gaon: And that despite the obvious damage it would bring to their respective clan, they wanted to pair together and raise earthlings of mixed loyalties.

Moreh: A very egoistic idea, if you want my opinion, guaranteeing a living hell for their descendant. Obviously, even they were able to see it as they elected to end their lives rather than to commit such a monstruosity.

Gaon: Monstruous in your eyes it may be. Yet, in democracies, it has acquired such an elevated status that, reaching that level of decadence has become their ultimate goal in life.

Moreh: You must be joking!

Gaon: Not one bit. Actually, it is one of the main tools used by women in order to evade their reproductive duties. Today, it is enough for a woman to declare that she has not found a man she ‘loves’ to acquire the right to remain barren. Though there has been a marginal reversal of that tendency now with the emergence of artificial insemination.

Moreh: You mention that technique at some point. “A marvelous invention that will enable the men to produce offspring while leaving the female in safe havens and without interrupting their conquests,” if I remember correctly.

Gaon: That was the most obvious explanation when I came across it. However, it appears that it is mainly a corrective device evolved by western society to attempt to keep their reproductive rates. Of course, I have no doubt that, given enough time, it will be efficiently used by warring societies. But, back to ‘love’.

Moreh: Are you sure that this ‘love’ of yours is an essential factor to explain the cease-fire agreement.

Gaon: I am afraid it is. When dealing with such a foreign and powerful concept, failing to fully understand its ramification would unavoidably lead to a gravely incorrect understanding of the situation. Also, that ‘love’ concept could be usefully injected in target societies to weaken them and limit our losses in future conquests.

Moreh: Good point. Continue, you begin to interest me.

Gaon: OK. That ‘love’ of theirs is reputedly blind, meaning that it enables them to devote their life to someone by the simple virtue of failing to see their defects and weaknesses.

Moreh: But that’s a loosing prospect!

Gaon: Maybe so. Nevertheless, it has now reached such a level that handicapped people are entitled to special rights and benefits and that it is viewed with great admiration when they succeed in blinding a potential to such a level that he/she agrees to a formal pairing.

Moreh: You mean, they actually encourage weakening their own gene pool?!

Gaon: Now you see why I think it is a potentially extremely powerful weapons, used in the right way…?

Moreh: You’re not talking about people like Steven Hawkins or sheikh Yassin who succeeded against all odds, and whose genes defects are obviously compensated by outstanding abilities?

Gaon: Not at all, I am talking about all human beings, however much of a drag he might be to the community. By the simple virtue of being born, every human being is, in their mind, entitled to love and care, regardless of the cost to their society.

Moreh: Continue…

Gaon: This love even extends to the women and children of their enemies.

Moreh: But that’s certifiable!

Gaon: Now, consider the Hizb’Allah position.

Moreh: Are they also full of that crazy love of yours?

Gaon: Only to a minimal extend, their main worry is ‘Honor’, that is earned by being outstandingly brave. A very efficient feeling. Anyway, consider their position carefully.

Moreh: Obviously, they misevaluated the Israeli reaction when they launched their squirmish.

Gaon: Indeed. They were not yet ready. Given the situation, the value of a trained warrior superseded that of reproductive female and offspring. Therefore, they had no choice but to hide behind them, in the sure knowledge that their enemy degenerated concept of ‘love’ would restrain itself from massacring them. Still, as they need the future generations, they did their best to hide behind captive population of different tribe and creed so as to direct the enemy fire onto less essential gene pool.

Moreh: Very clever indeed.

Gaon: Now, consider this. Israel mistakenly hit a Unifil camp. (Unifil is a non-combattat army – one of these ununderstandable western concept – based in Hizb’Allah territory in order to maintain peace by simple virtue of being there…?!) 4 Unifil soldiers were killed. The death of these 4 non-combattant soldiers created an outrage in the Western democracies. Their soldiers are not meant to die! They have developed by which it is considered a crime to kill a soldier in enemy territory.

Moreh: It is a wonder that such society has survived for more than a day…

Gaon: Let me continue, but keep in mind that western democracies cannot stomach the death of their soldiers.

Moreh: Continue…

Gaon: The cease-fire agreement implies that up to 15000 international soldiers are going to be in their midst, supposedly preventing them from rearming.

Moreh: Yes…

Gaon: And that, back a dozen year ago, the same kind of army left Rwanda after the ‘horrific’ death of a mere 10 soldiers. A feat repeated almost identically in Kosovo a few years later.

Moreh: Yes…

Gaon: In both those last cases, the populations those soldiers were meant to protect were massacred as soon as the soldiers left.

Moreh: Yes…

Gaon: Consider now that Hizb’Allah, as a result of its miscalculation, has taken a serious battering and is substantially weakened.

Moreh: Yes…

Gaon: It will now have the possibility to regroup and lick its wounds under the generous protection of the West it ultimately aims to destroy or conquer.

Moreh: You are right! A pure stroke of genius.