Walk away

"Sara..."
Michael softly rubbed Sara's back
And felt her stir to life
She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him
He gave her a small comforting smile
"We have to get up"
"Okay"
She sat up and swung her legs off of the bed
He crawled up behind her putting his head on her shoulder
And his arms around her waist
"Morning"
She tilted her head side ways so they were face to face
"Hey"
"You feeling okay?"
She nodded slightly.

For the next 15 minutes they moved through the room in silence
When they were both dressed, He noticed she was avoiding his eyes
Her face was blank.

He took hold of her arm
She froze in her movements
He gave her a concerned look
And spoke to her softly

"Are you okay?"
She responded in that same tone of voice she had used on him in the infirmary
It was sad and untrue, she was hiding her emotions and avoiding his gaze
"I'm fine"
"How about you look at me when you say that?"
She kept her eyes to the opposite side of where he was
He framed her face and turned it to face him
He watched as her tears spilled across her cheeks and pulled her in to his arms
He felt her body shake on account of her heavy sobs
"Hey..shhh..shhh..it's okay"
She pulled away from him, her eyes still blurry
"I'm sorry. We don't have time for this."
He stroked her soft cheek with his thumb
"We'll make time"
"No. I'm fine. I have to be."
"You don't have to BE anything you're not.
You have every right to feel anything and everything you're feeling"
"We have to go Michael"
"I know.But.."
"But nothing. Let's just go, okay?"

---- An hour later ----
Michael and Sara are sitting in the back of the car
Lincoln is driving and Kellerman is in the passengers seat
Sara's tugging at the bottom of her sleeves
And her bottom lip is quivering slightly
Noticing her distress, Michael takes her hand
She looks up at him with her vulnerable moist eyes
He pulls her onto his lap.
She buries her nose in the warm crook of his neck
He wraps her up in his arms.
Kellerman's voice sounds through the soothing words Michael whispers in her ear
"What's wrong with our girl Scofield?"
"Mind your own business!"
His voice sounds harsh compared to the way he always adresses her.
"The two of you are sitting in a rather compromising position a little less than two feet behind me
I think It's very much my business"
She makes an attempt to pull away from the comfort of his body but Michael just tightens his grip on her waist
"Well you thought wrong. You don't get to look at her. You don't even think about her!"
Being in his arms soothes her, warming her from the inside out.

About an hour later they stop for gass
Michael intertwines his long fingers with Sara's slender ones
"Let's go for a walk"
She nods and follows him out of the car.
They walk to the corner of the street,
She follows him into a narrow allyway

He puts one hand hand on her lower back, pulling her closer
While brushing her cheek with the other.
He speaks in a soft voice that he only seems to use for her
"How are you?"
"I'm okay"
"How about telling me the truth for a change?"
"What do you want me to say Michael?"
"I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me how you feel."
"I feel like shooting up alright! I feel like sticking a needle in my  fucking vein!
And forget everything. I wanna go to sleep and never wake up.
And if it wasn't for you, That's exactly what I would be doing.
But you don't wanna hear that do you Michael?!"
She turned around, facing the wall, leaning her forhead against it
He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist
"If that's the way you feel, Than yes that's exactly what I wanna hear
You're don't have to be alone in this, Sara
I'm here for you."
She let out a bitter laugh
"Yeah until the next time you decide to throw your life away"
He turned her whole body around, pinning her to the wall
He framed her beautiful face
"I love you, I will do anything to hold onto you. Anything!
So tell me what do you want?"
"You! I want you. All I want is you, more than anything I've ever wanted and that scares me okay?
I need you to hold me together and that terrifies me.
And I don't know what I'm gonna do when you leave me again"
Her eyes were desperate and he could see pain in them
Pain, he wished he could cure.
"I'm not going anywhere"
She whispered her reply
"How am I supposed to believe that?
You left me, You made me fall for you and than you up and left
you left me crashing to the ground"
"I didn't know"
She knew he was referring to her overdose. She also knew he blamed himself
"It doesn't matter you didn't know I was going to drown the memories in scotch and morphine
You manipulated me into thinking you cared, for once in my life you made me feel likesomeone actually gave a shit, and than you took it away.
and I'm just so tired and scared and I'm so inlove with you and hating you is too exhausting and I can't do it anymore"
At that she fainted. He caught her limp body in his strong arms.