Renewal (more memories "Losing someone")

There is a canopy swing on my patio that I sit on almost everyday. When it is pretty I let the sun rest on me with it's warmth: like a soft blanket. My eyes closed, I hear my children playing in the yard. Their laughter is like medicine for my spirit. The birds are chirping. Sounds like they are talking to me. The leaves on the trees slowly touching each other making the rustiling sound that I love to hear.

We had a mild winter. So I guess that means that we will have a hot summer. I love summer, but Spring is my favorite time of year. You can leave your door and windows open, the fresh breeze flows throughout your home. A time of renewal.

I tell my three boys that Spring is a time for change. If there is anything in their life that they want to change Spring is the perfect time to do it. The trees and flowers change, the earth changes.

I remember my mom used to tell me that Spring was the time to clean out your home. Soul. Start new. Most people do that at New Years but not my mom. She loved Spring. She loved flowers. Loved making salads to eat outside watching mother nature at work. I miss her. I miss having lunch with her. I miss driving up to her house to see her on her front porch waving at me. Her blue eyes smiling. Her big hug. Her house always smelled like she had been baking all day. So cozy and inviting.

Our relationship was like spring. We changed it. Nothing is perfect but I loved what we had: once forgiveness set in. We started anew. Like spring we changed. I changed. There have been lots of changes in my life since she died. Lots of changes in me. I think she would be proud. I am. I am proud to be her daughter. To have been a part of her life.

She loved my swing. I think of her almost every time I sit here. The sun on my face. The birds chirping. The tree leaves rustling. The earth changing. Starting new.