Marianne (WT) [1]

    Thunder erupted from the sky as the headlights parted the gray dusk in front of the minivan, forming vague circles of light on the garage door.  The beautiful spring Saturday was quickly becoming a stormy spring night, and Marianne was grateful she had a garage to pull into.  Torrents of rain were pouring onto the van, and everything else in the suburban neighborhood, and the deluge promised to continue well into the night.  Pounding rain and distant thunder masked the usual sound of the garage door making it’s accent.  Pulling into the shelter of the garage, the symphony of the storm was muted, and changed in tone from a chaotic, primitive beat to a harmonious melody.  Music to Marianne’s ears, an interlude from the long and unforgiving drought North Texas has been suffering for more than a year. 
         The car ride home from the airport was too long, and Marianne’s burdened body resisted the transition from the driver’s seat of her minivan into the garage.  Her ankles were swollen, and felt heavy, her hips were stiff and sore, and her enlarged middle caught on the steering wheel.  It was time for a bath.  With only a month left in her pregnancy, and a very busy three year old to keep up with, Marianne was battling fatigue big time.  When Rodney offered to take Michael with him to New Mexico, Marianne didn’t like the idea.  First off, Mikey had not ever spent the night away from her, and she was worried about how he would handle a three night stretch. 
         Neither was she fond of the idea of Rodney being so far away so close to their baby’s due date.  They spent the better part of the week going back and forth over this.  She was emotional and over tired, and wanted him to stay with her and be her support.  Rodney wanted to be with his family, and let Mikey spend some much overdue time with them as well. Rodney persisted, and won her over with one simple argument; it was his mother’s seventieth birthday, and she wanted her whole family to be their for the celebration - especially her youngest child and only son.  So Rodney was going, but Marianne was staying.  At first she insisted that Mikey stay as well.
         “I can take him, let him play with his cousins, be spoiled rotten by his grandmother and aunts, and he can have a wonderful, sugar-filled weekend; or you and Mikey can stay here while I go and play with his cousins, get spoiled by his grandmother and aunts, and have a wonderful, sugar filled weekend by myself.  Or, you could reconsider and come too.  It’s all up to you, Mama.”  He liked to call her ’Mama’, it bugged her.  “We’ll be back Tuesday, bright and early.  You can take time for yourself; get some things done, or not.  He’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, but we’ll be alright.”
         It was settled, Mikey would go with Rodney.  Marianne could see the wisdom of this, but she was still apprehensive.  But now, with the two of them on the plane, Marianne was finally alone.  Once, she enjoyed being alone, reading too much, watching t.v. or a movie, or just listening to her own thoughts.  Now that she has a chance to have that again for a few days, she’s glad she let them go.
         She had considered going, too.  She has been close to her mother in law, Alison, since they met.  When Marianne was living in New Mexico, when she first met Rodney, she had no family nearby.  As she and Rodney became closer, she found a home at Alison’s house, and a friend and confidant in Alison.  It was more than that, too.  Alison really cared for Marianne like a daughter, and Marianne loved her like a mother.  She was supportive and loving, and she was the only person, besides Rodney, that Marianne could go to with a problem. 
         The year that Marianne and Rodney got engaged, her own mother died.  The day after Rodney proposed, Marianne got a call from her older sister in Bosier City that her mom was very ill, and asked her to please come.  Marianne and Rodney rushed to Louisiana to be at her side.  They brought the good news of their engagement, and everyone wept - both in joy and sadness.  They spent two weeks watching as Marianne’s mother was eaten away from lung cancer.  There was nothing anyone could do but be there, for their mother and for each other. 
         When Alison learned from her son that they expected no improvement, and that in fact things would probably get worse very soon, she dropped everything to fly from Santa Fe to Bosier City to be with Marianne and Rodney even though she had never met any of Marianne‘s family.  She reasoned that Marianne’s family was Rodney’s family, and by extension, her own.  Alison gave hugs freely, and smiles cheerfully, and tears honestly.  At the funeral, she was right there, Marianne’s hand enclosed in both of hers, grieving for the woman she met only a few days before. 
         She hated missing the gathering held in Alison‘s honor. 
         Marianne talked it over with her midwife, and considered the risk of being so far away from home, and her birth support, so close to the end of her pregnancy.  Even though her pregnancy was normal, even uneventful, they both felt uncomfortable with the idea.  Then there was also the question of her own comfort.  At this very moment, the idea of being on a plane, for even a short 45 minute flight, was unbearable.  Add in a cranky toddler and a snack cart blocking the narrow hallway to the bathroom, and it was a nightmare.  No, she needed to stay home this trip.  Needed to work on the baby’s quilt so it will be done when he arrives.  Needed some time to herself and to get some rest.  Needed to be home.
         Alison had six children, had been eight months pregnant six times over, she would understand better than anyone why Marianne couldn’t be there.  Still, she was afraid that she would let Alison down; or that her beloved mother in law would be hurt by Marianne’s absence after she had specifically asked the whole family to come.  Guilt was easy to induce, and difficult to banish.
         As the garage door noisily clanked closed behind her, Marianne entered the house through the door from the garage to the kitchen.  She set her purse and keys on the dark, cool granite top of the center island, and shuffled her enlarged figure to the cabinet above and to the right of the sink that held the drinking glasses.  Still more shuffling and some waddling brought her to the fridge where she pressed the glass against the button on the door that spouted cold, filtered water.  The stiffness was beginning to work out of her taxed muscles, but the tiredness could only be slept out. 
         She downed the cold water in four long gulps, and pours another glass.  Before she allows herself the bath she planned to take before bed, she wants to call Alison.  She checks the time, 7:45, not too late, and it’s Saturday, and her cell phone plan includes free long distance and free calls on the weekends.  She finds the number in her address book, settles into the padded bar chair in front of the island, and calls her mother in law.
         “Hello?”, the woman’s voice comes through after only two rings.  It is unmistakably Alison, and while her voice has aged, there is no shake or tone that would lend either weakness or frailty to it.
         “Hi, Mom, it’s Marianne.”
         “Mari!  I’m so glad you called, how are you feeling?”
         “I’m alright, just a little tired these days.  How are you?  You sound great.”
         “Oh, I am great!  Lilly just arrived in town with little Justin and Katie, and Kenneth, too, of course.  The only bird yet to return to the nest is your husband.  This house is happy to be full again.”
         “I’m sure it is, but I hope there’s room for two more, because I just put Rodney and Mikey on a plane headed your way.”
         “That’s wonderful!  Emmy’s going to meet them at the airport in a while.  She says she knows where to go and when to be there, so I’m leaving it all up to her.  Rod has a car seat for Michael?”
         “Yep, he should be set.  Rodney’s so looking forward to spending time with all of you, and I really do wish I was there, too.”
         “Don’t give it another thought.  You’re doing what you need to do for that baby, that’s what matters.  You’ll have to come to visit when the baby’s old enough!  Dallas seems so far away, I get lonely for my kids and grandkids.”
         “We will come, as soon as we can.  You come to see us, too, any time.  I’ll let you off the phone, I know you have a house full of people there.  Happy birthday, Mom.  I love you.”:
         “Oh, thank you , sweetie, I love you, too.  Now, get some rest, you’ve earned it!  Bye-bye now.”
         “Bye”.  Marianne closed her flip phone and walked over to plug it into the charger she keeps by the coffee maker.
         The walk upstairs was tedious, but not as bad as it would have been when she fist came home.  Yes, her muscles still ached, but the burden of guilt was at least a little lighter after talking to Alison.  At the top of the stairs, Marianne thinks she hears something, a knock or shuffle that was different than settling noises. She pauses a moment at the top of the stairs, listening. 
         Nothing. 
         Listening.  Still nothing, so she heads once again toward the oversized tub in the master bath.  The master bedroom is just to the left of the stairs, opposite the upstairs living area.  As she reaches the door, she’s silently admonishing herself for being so jumpy.  It’s been a long time since she’s been all alone in a big house.  She tells herself that peace and quiet is so unusual around here that she doesn‘t know what to do with it.  Shaking her head, she opens the door to her room, and finds a large man wearing a pony tail sitting on her bed.