Have you ever

  Have you ever

            I am 15 years old and my life is pretty normal You see I live on a small farm so Im at that age where Im stuck between farm girl- tomboy and a normal girlYou know fighting with your parents, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, arguing with your brother or sister if you have onethis is what the story is about), trying to pretty much fit into the crowd in your grade, and of course hanging out with your friends. 

          In the past two years I have went through a lot.  One of my friends,  sisters was killed in a car accident.  She was 17 years old.  My brother grew up with her just like I have grown up with her little brother Casey.  Brooke and I didnt really know a lot about each other.  However we knew one another.


          I will never forget the night she was killed.  I was getting out of the shower and all I heard was my mom say This cant be happing Randy.I was so confused.  When I came out of the bathroom my mom said that Brooke had been killed.I was really confused.  Not knowing what to do.  If you’ve ever lost someone so quickly you know what Im talking about. My brother was in such shock that he just set on his bed while I set in the floor and my mom made calls trying to find out if this was true. 



          Do you have brother or sister?  If you do then you know what Im talking about in this story.  You sometimes argue, get in fist fights, torture each other in front of each others friends, and what hurts the most is the words you scream at each other when youre in the fights. The words you scream you probably dont mean but can be the very last words ever said.  I know this because I have a brother and we do all this to each other.  Youre probably thinking what is the point in this story?  My point is never leave the house angry.

        You might never think of that or you could say that my point is stupid, but until somebody you love leaves the house and will never come back will you understand. 

          My friend Casey lost his sister in a car accident on August 2005.  Casey and Brooke had been arguing and as she was walking out the door he yelled I hate you. How would you fell if that was your last words to your brother or sister?  I would never forgive myself.  Some people might be able to live with that.  It would take me awhile but, I would never fully forgive my self. 

          I can still see Brookes face.  She was so pretty.  Brooke was a senior at Goreville high school.  Brooke was so excited about being a senior.  She said this was going to be the year.  I think what Brooke loved most was her family, friends, and her boyfriend.  Nobody ever saw this coming.  I have to pass the spot where she was killed at least two times a day.  Believe me this hurts.  Every time we pass there I think what was she going to be?  What kind of life she would have?  What she would become?  These questions and so many others will never be answered.

          During this time of sadness we comforted the family.  A bunch of kids from Goreville went over and was there for Casey.  We never did talk about Brooke when we were over there.  Casey said that he didnt want that on his mind even though you know it was and will always be.  I dont really know how Casey felt about this but he had to be sad.  I will never forget those days.  Hours and hours my parents spent over there.  I thought that it was great how much we were there for them.  Cherri and Dennis really appreciated all that we did for them. 

          Randy and Brooke grew up together so this was very hard for him. When we were at school was the hardest.  Seniors was all crying.  This was the hardest time for me.  This was the first and last time I broke down and cried.  Mrs. Watkins said the bravest thing that we could have down is just to show up at school.  Seniors had it worse.  There will always be that empty seat.  Homecoming, prom, and graduation there will never be another one for Brooke.  When I think about how sad Graduation will be I just want to cry.  Every school goes through this some times but, I think that it is harder when kindergarten through high school are together.  Jr. High and high school are so close at our school.  We all know each other.  I cannot say that one day we will just forget about Brooke because it is not that way.  We will always remember that night. 

          Sometimes I think of this as a signal.  I think that maybe we should all slow down to keep my family and yours safe.  Our school is very lucky because this does not happen often.  Every time Randy leaves I just pray that he will come back.  My life would be so messed up if he was gone.  If you have learned one lesson reading this story is that you should never leave the house angry and please slow down on the road. 

          I now think of Brooke as an angel.  Everybody that knew her loves her still.  I think that we are healing slowly.  Casey and his family are doing good.  His mom sometimes gets scared when shes on the road but, you can understand that.  Our life is also back in order.  My family and Caseys got together and celebrated Brookes 18th birthday.  It was sad but we shared memories and talked.  Me, Casey, and Randy all just hung out and had a blast.  I love that family so much.  I feel so close to them since this has happened.  Sometimes I think of them as my other family.