Misery's Companion

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The loud beeping noise startled me again. Turning around in place, I realized
the noise was not coming from Rick’s abandoned monitors but as I looked
more closely I noticed his monitors were not even in the room any longer.
Looking around the room, the room seemed emptier and brighter than it had
seemed the night before. The room was perfectly clean, the bed made and the
little table that was beside the rocker was now placed beside the bed in its
proper spot. The pills and juice that had sat atop the tray the night before were
also gone. The room seemed as if no one had been in it except for me. Scanning
the room, I searched for Rick’s bags, the bags I had brought with me last
night; there was no trace of them anywhere. Baffled, I wandered around the
room searching for Rick’s bags. Peering into the closet behind the door where
jackets and belongings usually would hang, I found, however, that the closet
was empty. I then turned around and made my way towards the bed, running
my hand across the bright white cover, as I lowered myself to the ground. On
my hands and knees I looked under the bed, no bags were there either.

Total confusion began to take over me as I sat up on my knees trying to
make sense of what was happening. I knew that I had brought those bags here,
but now they were nowhere to be found. At that moment I decided it was time
to speak to a nurse and find out where my husband’s bags went and how he
was doing in surgery. Ignoring the weirdness that the room exhibited at that
point, I walked back over to the rocker, picked up my jacket and purse before
heading to the door. With my left hand on the door knob, I turned back
around and glanced one last time at the hospital room, then pulling the handle
and opening the door, I left the room behind me as I sauntered down the hallway
towards the nurse’s station. As I approached the nurse’s station I noticed
two female nurses, their heads bowed down as they worked on their duties for
the day. Neither of the nurses noticed me as I approached the desk, so I cleared
my throat to alert them that I was there.

“Um, hello?” I said in a quieted voice.
Looking up from her work, the nurse closest to me seemed shocked to see
me standing there.
“Oh my, you startled me. Yes ma’am, is there anything I can do for you?”
She asked me.
“Why yes, there is something you could do for me. I was looking for my
husband’s belongings from room 14b. I brought them in for him last night, but
this morning when I awoke, I couldn’t find them.” I replied.
“Room 14b?” the nurse asked as she looked at me with a puzzled look on
her face.
“Yes, my husband was brought here last night with a severe gash in his right
leg; he was in room 14b awaiting surgery for this morning.” I stated as I
watched the puzzled look on her face become more intense.
“Ok, well let me check the registry for room 14b then.” She stated before she
turned her chair away from me to face the filing cabinet that was directly
behind both nurses. The nurse that had not noticed me right away had been
listening to my conversation with the first nurse and she sat there staring at me.
Impatiently I waited for the nurse to finish looking through the cabinet, without
moving my head I glanced down at my watch; I found it was now 10:43am.
The nurse was still thumbing through the many files in the cabinet, when she
turned her head towards me and stated,
“You said room 14b, right?”
“Yes.” I answered back; animosity began to fill my every word. ‘Hello, hurry
it up lady’ I thought to myself as I became irritated by her gaze, my foot tapping
on the floor beneath me.

The nurse stared at me for a brief moment as if she could read my thoughts
before she turned back around and continued her search through the cabinet.
Within a few seconds, she turned back around placing a file on her desk. From
where I was standing I could see the title of the file as “Room 14b” in almost
illegible handwriting. The nurse looked up at me and smiled, before returning
her gaze to the file. As she thumbed through the pages, she started to hum to
herself. With each page she turned, her humming began to get louder and my
impatience began to increase. After what seemed an hour, the nurse finally
looked up to me from the file, her look was that of confusion and pity.

“From what I see here…Mrs.?” She paused.
“Mrs. Ronin.” I interjected.
“I apologize, Mrs. Ronin. From what I see here, there was no one registered
to room 14b last evening. Are you sure that the room was 14b?” The nurse
paused before continuing, “Room 14b hasn’t had anyone registered to it for
over a month, since Mr. Wilson was registered there. Mr. Wilson passed away
one month ago while he was staying in that room.” The nurse said as she gazed
into my eyes.
Not understanding or believing what I was hearing from the nurse, I began
to shake my head from side to side, then without warning I screamed at the
nurse making her jump up from her seat.
“What are you talking about, are you insane or something? My husband was
brought in here last night, I sat by his side until he fell asleep and then I sat in the
rocker across the room and fell asleep, only to wake up this morning to my husband gone and all his bags missing.”
The nurse then circled the desk and began to approach me, her arms
extended as if to embrace me, but I stumbled back shaking my head at her in
disbelief.
“Please Mrs. Ronin…” She began to say, “Let me help you….”
“No, you’re insane, I want my husband NOW, heWAS in that room, room 14b
and I want to know where he is NOWand if you can’t give me the answers I want,
then I want to speak to your supervisor.” I screamed through my tears; tears of
confusion, tears of frustration and tears of exhaustion.
"Mrs. Ronin,” The nurse stated as she closed in on me and placed her hands
on my shoulders, “I’m sorry, but your husband was not registered to that room
last night, no one has been registered to room 14b in well over a month.” She
continued as she helped me into a nearby chair, the nurse then introduced herself
as Melinda. Melinda could see how upset I had become to hear this information,
but still she knelt down in front of me on the cold hospital floor as she
sat me down in the chair. “Please sit and let me fill you in on room 14b.”
Melinda said in as calm a tone as she could muster. “Room 14b has always had
an odd aura to it, but room 14b became more widely known by Mr. Wilson.
See, Mr. Wilson was brought in here several weeks ago; he was pale and bleeding
tremendously from a head wound. Mr. Wilson was scheduled for surgery
immediately but when the nurses came in to transport him, they found he had
bled to death. Since then the hospital hasn’t registered anyone to that room.”
Melinda informed me.

Once she finished telling me the story of room 14b, I just stared at her,
unbelieving of what she had said.My body shaking, I put my head in my hands
and began to sob.Melinda pulled me close to her and she hugged me while she
murmured in my ear that it was all going to be ok. After a few moments I
pulled away from her and looked her straight in the eyes.
“But….but, my husband, he came in here last night…he was bleeding terribly
from a wound to his leg…” I exclaimed.
Melinda looked at me for a moment then stated, “Mrs. Ronin, maybe you’re
mistaken…”
“I’m not mistaken Melinda,” I interrupted, “I saw him in that room, I
touched him, I talked to him.” At that moment a thought occurred to me,
“What about the orderly who stated he saw my husband and directed me to his
room?” I asked.
“Which orderly, Mrs. Ronin?” Melinda asked.
“The orderly……I don’t know his name, but it was after midnight when I
came in the Emergency Department. I accidentally bumped into him in the
hall and told him I was looking for Rick, he said he saw him come in and came
up here with me to show me where he was.” I finished. I was beginning to
sound unsure of myself; my words more questioning and confused than earlier.
“I don’t know who he was,” I continued mumbling. “I never got his name,
but he did have a bit of a feminine voice to him.” I added as I looked into
Melinda’s eyes.
“We don’t have any male nurses here.” Melinda said as she scratched her
head with her right hand.

For a moment, I sat there, staring at Melinda, trying to make sense of all she
had told me, trying to understand what was going on. She looked at me as if I
were a child lost in a store, her face distorted with sympathy and understanding.
Looking at her at that moment, I felt more frail than I had earlier; more
scared than I had been the night before when my nightmare first began.
Studying her expression, I mumbled,
“If all this is true, then where is my husband?” I asked as I lowered my head
in defeat.
“That is a good question Mrs. Ronin, let me just check the registry for the
hospital to see if he was seen at all last night and by who, just stay right here,”
She said as she got to her feet, “I’ll be right back.”With that, she turned around
and walked back to the nurse’s station.
“Wait,” I jumped up from the chair. “I know what doctor saw him last
evening.” I stated, excitement filling my heart, I had some proof Rick was here,
the note at the bottom of Rick’s sheet was signed by Dr. Yen. Melinda stopped
in her tracks and turned to me.
“Who?” She asked.
“Dr. Yen. I read Rick’s form at the edge of his bed and there was a note on it
about his condition and time of surgery. The doctor was Dr. Yen.” I exclaimed.
The look on Melinda’s face changed quickly to that of confusion. My heart
dropped just at the look on her face.
“Mrs. Ronin….we have no doctors at this hospital with that name. Are you
sure that was the name on the sheet?”
My hopes began to fall to the ground where they dissipated right in front of
me.
“Yes, that was the name I saw.” I replied, my voice trailing off with each
word.
After a few seconds of silence, Melinda shook her head and then, “Ok, let
me have a look just to be sure. Please go ahead and have a seat, I promise not to
be too long.”

I watched her turn into the nurse’s station and sit at her seat, turning only
briefly to say something to the other nurse that I was unable to hear from
where I was sitting, before she turned back to her computer and began the
search. As I sat there, I looked around the hallway; it was just as white as the
rest of the hospital, and completely empty except for the odd beeping sound
from a machine down the hallway and me sitting in the chair across from the
nurse’s station. As I waited for Melinda to re-emerge from behind her desk, I
leaned back in the chair and rested my head on the wall, staring at the ceiling,
before closing my eyes and trying to comprehend all that I had been told thus
far. It seemed unreal, like I was in a horrible nightmare; nothing was making
sense to me, nothing at all. My thoughts were running wild now, I felt like I
was losing my grip on reality, I wasn’t sure what was real anymore and what
wasn’t. Slowly, with my eyes still closed, I lowered my head and slowly opened
my eyes. Directly in front of me stood Melinda, her presence frightened me, I
had not heard her approach me, grabbing hold of my heart I took a deep
breath and with my voice cracking, I said to Melinda;

“Did you find my husband?”
Melinda then sat in the chair beside me and grabbed both my hands in hers
before she spoke.
“I looked through all the hospital records starting back at approximately
8pm last night and there was no one admitted or seen by the name of Ronin,
I’m sorry. I also checked through all our databases and couldn’t find any doctor
by the name of Yen working here in this hospital.”
Staring at her, dumbfounded, I was speechless. My mouth agape as if I was
going to say something, but nothing came out. I glared at Melinda, my eyes
vacant. Melinda could see the awestruck look in my eyes and broke the silence.
“Mrs. Ronin is there someone you would like me to call for you?”

Hearing those words come from her mouth was like hearing someone tell
me I was losing my mind, that maybe I had escaped from an insane asylum or
needed some serious psychiatric care. Feeling completely lost and seriously
confused, I stood up without saying a word to Melinda, turned my back to her
and walked quickly away. As I headed to the elevator, I began to feel overwhelmed
by all I had heard and all I that had happened the night before. Was
everything that happened last night a dream? Was I awake now or still sleeping?
Deciding I should check to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, I pinched myself.