Beautiful chaos

The playground swing that rocks to and fro misses the outline that enjoyed it so. The lovely chaos of your voice laughing every time you kicked off ground. The auburn hair that was a tangled mass that waited for my comb to brush it straight. Your blue eyes that reminded me of the sea that filled with joy of everyday things. I still remember the day you opened those eyes, lying tiny and weightless in my arms. I still remember the cold nights where you were the one that kept me awake. And then slowly the walls held signs of you walking, dirty fingerprints at me beautiful pink walls. Your soft breathing as you lay next to me, your loud cries that came from this house. And when you changed my solitary life into the beautiful chaos that now exist.
Now this silence mocks the strident chaos the shadows that creep over your playthings. A silver web lies over these undisturbed toys. Are you playing hide and seek, because mommy knows she can’t find you. And every time I take a corner I expect you to come running out. And at night I lay alone counting the stars like you because I can’t sleep alone. I wake at night and look at your pictures, and I can’t believe that you are not here. And the toys lay unnoticed and this homework lay undone. And the walls waiting to be filled with the beautiful chaos of your voice don’t realize that you are gone forever.